“Trust me. It’s perfect.” Okay, maybe perfect is a stretch. But I only had so much to work with.
“Explain it again? This is from a movie?”
I clench my teeth. It takes everything I have not to roll my eyes at this girl. She’s in love with him. It shouldn’t be so complicated.
“When Harry Met Sally … is Fitz’s favorite rom-com. You’re re-creating the final scene.” It’s ironic, actually, because the final scene in the movie doesn’t have a grand gesture. The main character Harry finally realizes that he’s in love with his best friend, Sally, so he finds her at a New Year’s Eve party and tells her how he feels. I downloaded “Auld Lang Syne” to Molly’s phone and synced it with the speaker. As soon as we’re done here, I’m going to go upstairs, where Fitz, Darcy, and their parents are watching this movie. That part was a minor miracle, but the power of suggestion is real, apparently. “When I go upstairs, wait two minutes and then start the song.”
“And he’ll get it?”
“He’ll get it,” I assure her. I found a package of old birthday balloons in the kitchen junk drawer and blew them up and scattered them around the room for good measure.
“What do I say?”
“Tell him the truth.”
“You think this will work?”
“I can’t make any guarantees, but yeah. I do.”
“Okay. Thanks, Paige.” She hugs me tightly. I hug back, because why not. If I’m doing this, I may as well go all in.
I walk halfway up the stairs and listen for the closing credits of the movie. Harry and Sally are talking about serving side sauce with their wedding cake. Close enough.
“Two minutes,” I remind her, and take the steps two at a time. I pause under the mistletoe, watching Fitz watch his favorite movie. He’s lying on his stomach on the carpet, his chin resting on his hands, and I want nothing more than to join him. I close my eyes and take a deep breath.
“Hey, Fitz.” I’m surprised how normal my voice sounds.
He turns and sees me standing under the mistletoe. His eyes widen. I hastily step forward so he won’t get the wrong idea. “Molly needs your help with the fire.”
He stands. “Sure.” He brushes by me, the back of his hand grazing mine. And then he goes downstairs to get back together with his ex-girlfriend. I head straight for the front door and yank on boots, a coat, and a hat.
“Where are you going? It’s dark and it’s freezing,” Darcy says.
“I won’t go far. I just need some fresh air.”
She stops me on the porch, closing the door behind us. “Are you okay?” Her breath puffs in the yellow glow of the porch light.
I’m fine. I’m fine I’m fine I’m fine. My heart is not breaking. I’m not in love with your brother. I don’t hate him for talking about me. My brain is not broken and my life is not a trash fire. “I don’t know.”
“I hate the way our conversation went this morning. I wasn’t trying to diagnose you. I was being nosy, and I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. I might—” I squeeze my hands tight, trying to summon the courage I’ve never had. “I might, you know, talk to someone when I get home. Try to figure out if there’s something I can do to manage my, you know.” I gesture to my general brain region.
“Oh, Paige.” Darcy looks like she wants to hug me. “I hope you find someone who can help.”
“Thanks. So now you can report back to Fitz that your job is done. I know he invited me here so you could fix my messed-up brain.”
“No, he didn’t.”
“Don’t lie for him. Molly told me.”
“What you’re saying is impossible. When did he invite you?”
“The twenty-first. Why?”
“I wasn’t planning to come, hadn’t even bought a plane ticket on the twenty-first.” Darcy twists her expensive scarf around her fingers, winding and unwinding it. “I was nervous about facing the family after the wedding, because I knew Meg was furious. And I wanted April and me to spend our first married Christmas together. She talked me into coming at the last second because she wants me to smooth things over with Meg. I didn’t even buy my ticket until the twenty-second. It was an astronomically expensive miracle that I even got here.”
“But Molly told me that Fitz said—”
“I don’t know what she said or what he said and why, but I’m telling you the truth. I can show you my bank statement if you don’t believe me.” She crosses her arms, looking frighteningly like her brother.
“Okay, so maybe he didn’t know. But he obviously told you about my problems. Why else would you have taught him grounding techniques?”
“I taught him grounding techniques because he asked me to. He wanted to know coping mechanisms for stress. He didn’t once mention your name.”
“Oh.” My eyes wander to the door. I squeeze them shut and try not to drown in images of Fitz and Molly.
If I had known …
Nothing. If I had known, nothing would be different. “Thanks for telling me. I’ve gotta go.”
Racing down the porch steps, I venture into the dark forest. I circle around to the back of the cabin and walk straight, praying I don’t get lost. I didn’t bother charging my phone after my long conversation with Clover, because I was distracted by my efforts to push Fitz into the arms of another girl to the tune of “Auld Lang Syne.” That song is ruined for me now. As is When Harry Met Sally … , and all Meg Ryan movies, and anything resembling a rom-com. Not that it’s such a tragedy. My favorite thing about them was watching with Fitz, anyway. I walk, making a mental list of all the things I’ll never enjoy again. Baseball. (Heartbreaking.) Snow. (Tragic.) Any food made with vinegar. (Good riddance.) I snap out of my daze as I come to a frozen lake.
The branches around me are heavy with magical snow, like something out of one of Fitz’s movies. It’s disgustingly romantic, and when I get home, I should put Jay and Clover in a car and drive them up here so he can properly propose.
I press my foot against the ice, testing it. It doesn’t crack. I try not to picture what Fitz and Molly are doing now, but it’s impossible. I see him wrapping his arms around her, whispering in her ear, kissing in front of the fire.
“Why’d you do it?” Fitz’s voice cuts through the trees.
Surprised, I turn and slip, falling hard on my butt. Fitz jogs the rest of the way to me and reaches a hand to help me up. “Are you okay?”
I ignore him and scramble to my feet. “I’m fine. Why aren’t you with Molly?”
“I asked first. Why did you set that up for her?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Cut the crap, Collins.” He sighs, tugging on the brim of his hat. “Don’t you think it’s time we stopped lying to each other?”
I want to protest, but his words catch my attention. Stop lying to each other. “What are you lying about?”
“Please, tell me why you’re trying so hard to get Molly and me back together. I need to know.”
“I want you to be happy.”