They wanted to try. They wanted to all be together.
All of us. Together.
My eyes widened at the implication.
Laz and me. Raph and Laz. And… and… and Raph and me.
My gods.
Raph really wanted to go down this road again?
Raph and I had only ever ended in disaster. What if Laz wound up in the middle of our catastrophe and got hurt? Could we really do that to him? Looking at the two of them, I knew I had my answer because Laz was already in it. It was too late to avoid anyone getting hurt, so the question was, how could we not at least try?
I wanted that. I wanted to try. But… I wasn’t sure this was going to end well.
Chapter 26
Raphael
We’d wound up going to Laz’s work very, very late after spending all morning searching for my stubborn idiot of a soul-pledged. Gods, I loved him, but he could be so unsure of his place in my life sometimes, even after all these years.
Because we’d gone in late, we stayed late, picked up dinner on the way home, and were all exhausted by the time we finished eating. I was pretty sure it was more an emotional exhaustion than anything else. So we’d gone to bed early.
When we’d gotten ready for bed, Laz had quietly asked Izzy if he’d wanted to sleep in the middle of the bed, but Iz had declined. We didn’t do anything but hold each other and sleep because we were tired and Iz seemed like an emotional mess. The only thing that would help him was time. Hopefully.
I woke to Laz in my arms again, which was absolutely wonderful.
But.
I was worried that Izzy was rejecting me in some small way. But maybe I was reading into it because maybe Izzy had wanted Laz to feel protected since he was still recovering and having nightmares. That was probably it.
As I blinked my eyes open, I nuzzled into the back of Laz’s neck, placed a few kisses there as I relished holding him in my arms, then I leaned up to peek over him at Izzy.
Isiah was on his side, facing us, one hand on Laz’s hip, the other under his head on the pillow. He met my eyes and gave me a hesitant smile, so I reached over and ran my hand through his hair, saying, “Morning, Iz.”
His smile grew a little. “Good morning, Raph. Did you sleep okay?”
I nodded as I took him and his dark circles in. “You look like you didn’t get any sleep at all.”
He shrugged. “My brain wouldn’t shut off.”
I frowned at that. “Do you need to talk it out?”
He lifted his shoulder again. “Um… probably, but we should maybe wait for Laz.”
My stomach turned to stone, and a harsh whisper fell from my lips. “Are you rejecting us?”
Izzy’s eyes widened, and he shot up to a seated position, reaching for my hand. “No!” He winced at his volume and the fact that Laz started to stir awake, then he lowered his voice. “No, babe. Never that. I just… I think we need to talk about some things.”
Drawing a breath, I nodded. “You’re probably right.”
“If we’re doing this, we’re going to have to get better about speaking our feelings.”
I opened my mouth to agree, but Laz groaned and mumbled unintelligibly, “That sounds awful.”
Snorting out a laugh, I leaned over to kiss his cheek. “Good morning to you, too.”
He grunted, but reached for my hand to hold it to himself. With the arm he was laying on, he blindly reached forward until he grabbed Izzy’s shirt and pulled him closer. He mumbled something else that I couldn’t make out before he yawned widely. “Too early.”
“You’d think it was too early if I woke you up at one in the afternoon,” Izzy said, amusement lacing his voice.
“Probably.” Laz yawned again. “What’re we talkin’ ‘bout?”
“How adorable you are when you’re sleepy,” I answered.
Laz grunted and pushed me with his butt. “Shut up. Am not.”
Izzy grinned at me, then at Laz even though his eyes were still closed. “I’m going to have to agree with Raph on this one.”
“Ugh.” Laz mumbled under his breath again, making me chuckle.
Smirking at Iz, I said, “Even his complaining is adorable.”
Iz smirked back. “It really is.”
“Ugh. Both of you, shut it.” Laz smacked my hip lightly, then pushed Izzy’s shoulder, making us both laugh.
Leaning toward him, I kissed Laz’s neck, behind his ear, and his cheek, then smiled over at Izzy and tucked his hair behind his ear again. I wanted so badly to lean over and kiss him, but I had a feeling it wouldn’t be welcome right now. Hopefully though, hopefully after we talked, it would be. Gods, I hoped so.
Unfortunately, I had a feeling I knew exactly what he wanted to talk about, so I wasn’t sure if it would be or not. For all I knew, Laz would wind up pissed at me as well once he found out. But I had to have faith that this was going to work out.
I’d thought I’d lost the right to kiss Izzy a long time ago, but maybe having Laz with us would make us whole again.
Laz took a deep breath, and without opening his eyes, asked, “What do you want to talk about?”
Izzy met my eyes for a moment and cringed as he said, “I think maybe it’s time Raph and I tell you a little about our history.”
Laz’s eyes finally snapped open at that. “Seriously?”
Iz nodded and offered a small half-smile as he tenderly ran his fingers along Laz’s jawline. “Yes, treasure, I think we need to explain a few things so you understand… so you know why this is going to be hard for me.”
“Iz,” I whispered.
My soul-pledged sent me a soft smile. “I know, babe, but I can’t help it.”
Closing my eyes, I nodded. He was right. He couldn’t help his feelings, but hearing him say that was like a dagger to the heart. Fuck. The guilt was going to eat away at me if Iz couldn’t trust me in this aspect of his life again.
Blowing out a breath, I nodded at him. “Alright, let’s tell him.”
Laz sat up between us, and we all got comfortable against the pillows as Isiah began speaking.
“As you know, Raph and I met about one hundred fifty years ago in a little pub where I worked. He had an apartment nearby, but he worked for the Conclave, so I was wary of him.”
“That’s putting it mildly,” I said with a small grin as I remembered our first meeting.
Izzy exchanged a smile with me before continuing, “Yes, well, I wasn’t exactly a fan of the Conclave back then.”
“I can understand why after everything,” Laz said quietly.
My brow furrowed. “You told him?” I asked Izzy.
Iz nodded. “Yeah, he knows about my family.”
I blinked at him, then watched Laz reach over to take one of Izzy’s hands between both of his. I could feel Izzy’s relief from that small contact. Knowing how much that affected Izzy made my chest tight, and I was grateful he was able to lean on Laz for comfort. Surprised he’d told him about his family—Isiah never told anyone about them—but relieved he already trusted Laz enough to do so.
Laz pulled Izzy’s hand up to kiss the back of it, sending Iz a sad smile, then kept Izzy’s hand in his lap. I hesitated, not wanting to take away from their moment, but feeling like I needed to offer my own comfort to them both. When they both turned to me at the same time, I blew out a breath, then placed my hand on top of their combined ones. Laz immediately moved his top hand and placed it over mine so Izzy’s and my hands were sandwiched between Laz’s. That also meant my hand was on top of Izzy’s, and my soul-pledged sent me a soft smile when our skin touched.