“Yes! No! God, I don’t know,” I said with a low moan. “I completely lost control. I didn’t even notice that the damn press was right on top of us.”
I always did things in a measured, cautious sort of way.
I paid attention to details.
I took a deep breath and let it out. “I shouldn’t have asked you to kiss me. I did one impulsive thing in my entire life, and it ended up being caught on camera. It would probably be a lot safer if I just stuck to my boring old life.”
“But not nearly as much fun,” Jax answered provocatively. “Everything will be fine, Harlow. It won’t be long before the press gets bored and moves on to another story. They always do. I just want you to stay with me so I know you’re safe. I don’t want you to feel like you’re in a fishbowl being watched all the time.”
“Why does it just feel like I’m running from a bunch of bullies?” I asked him in a calmer voice. “I hate that. It’s not like I committed a damn crime.”
“Then pretend that you’re just coming to my place because you want to, and because I invited you to come hang out with me. I know it feels really intrusive, but in this situation, it’s just better to remove yourself from it for the sake of your sanity. Most of the gossip and entertainment press aren’t dangerous, but they’re relentless and annoying. Why deal with that if you don’t have to?” he asked.
I nodded. “You’re right. It’s not a battle I’m going to win. I think I’m about ready.”
The press had been chasing celebrities for stories for a long time. If there was nothing I could do to stop it, I might as well be as comfortable as possible.
Jax moved forward until I could feel his hard body against my back. “Look at me, sweetheart,” he rumbled.
I turned, looked up, and fell into his gorgeous green-eyed gaze.
“Are you okay?” he asked in a concerned tone.
He was doing it again.
Checking in.
Gauging where my emotions were with a single look.
“I’m okay,” I told him honestly.
“You sure?” he asked as he scrutinized my face.
And…my heart melted.
The most difficult Jax to resist was this one, the guy who cared about how I was feeling, and wasn’t afraid to show his concern.
“I think I was just mad because I let them catch me off guard like that. It was slightly mortifying,” I told him honestly. “And I really do hate running away.”
“Unfortunately, this shit is part of my world,” he said, his voice dripping with regret.
My heart ached because I could see how much he hated exposing me to anything that might upset me.
And I hated the guilt I could see all over his face.
He was right. This was part of his world. Maybe they did chase Jax more than his brothers, but Taylor had recently been hounded by the press, too. Once word had gotten out that Hudson might have to be removed from the world’s richest, most eligible bachelor list, everyone wanted to know who had captured him.
If I wanted to be part of Jax’s world in any way, even as a friend, the media interest was something I was going to have to learn to brush off.
If I had to choose between not having Jax in my life at all, or being with him with the media in my face, I’d learn to handle the press.
I lifted my hand and stroked his tight jaw. “Hey, none of this is your fault. I was just venting my frustration,” I told him calmly. “It is part of your world, and it’s nothing I can’t handle. I just need to find a place that sells good stink bombs in quantity. You don’t have to protect me anymore, Jax. And for God’s sake, don’t feel guilty about who you are. You’re a billionaire Montgomery. People are always going to be curious about you and your family. There’s nothing you can do about that.”
He stroked a hand through my hair as he said gruffly, “You never wanted this kind of attention.”
“Maybe not,” I admitted. “But I’m perfectly willing to put up with it if that means I can hang out with you.”
His expression was hopeful as he asked, “Are you? Because I swear I’ll hurt those assholes if they scare you away.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck and smiled. “I’m a whole lot tougher than you think.”
Really, I couldn’t blame Jax for thinking that I was fragile. All he’d done was spend time with me during the most vulnerable period of my life. I’d been leaning on him for support, and he’d given it freely, patiently, and generously. But I was ready for the dynamics of this whole relationship to change.
Jax needed to know that he had my support, and that I cared about him, too.
He wrapped his arms around my waist. “You’re getting pretty damn feisty,” he teased.
“Do you have a problem with that?” I asked.
“Oh, hell no, sweetheart,” he rasped. “It nearly killed me to see you like you were on day one. I’d rather have you fight with me than to see you give up on the entire world. If I never have to see you that upset and unhappy, it would be too damn soon. All I want to do is make you happy, Harlow. Just tell me how to do it, and I’ll make damn sure you’re smiling every day.”
Tears sprang to my eyes as I looked at the fierce expression on his face.
He was dead serious, and at that moment, I realized that Jax Montgomery really would do anything just to make me smile.
“You already make me happy,” I told him as my heart started to race out of control. “You don’t have to do anything else. You’re the reason I’m smiling now. You’re the reason I’m recovering, and standing on my own two feet now. You have no idea how grateful I am for that.”
His expression was intense as he growled, “I don’t want you to be grateful. I want you to be happy.”
“Then kiss me,” I whispered. “Just kiss me.”
“I can do that,” he grumbled as he lowered his mouth to mine.
If I’d thought that the first kiss was never going to be duplicated, or that it had just been a product of my sexual frustration, I’d been thinking like a fool.
Jax overwhelmed my senses from the second his lips touched mine, and I was completely lost all over again.
My world tilted as he devoured my mouth, consuming it and me until I was desperate to feel more of him, touch more of him.
Liquid heat flooded between my thighs. I moaned against his lips, and leaned into him until we couldn’t get any closer with our clothes on.
A need I’d never experienced before clawed at me, and I speared my hands into his coarse hair, and held on for dear life.