I look at Carice who is seated in the second row with a few other women—most likely colleagues of hers from the nonprofit—but I didn’t have time to talk to them, so I can’t be a hundred percent sure. However they all look pretty emotional, and I can only conclude they were quite close to Mom.
“Although we had our differences, I learned some incredible lessons from her about love, strength, determination, and sacrifice.” My attention suddenly goes to the entrance where I see Maud quietly walking in with her husband. We exchange a quick smile and they sit at the last row. I can’t stop wondering why on earth she arrived so late though, but I have to focus on finishing my speech, so I look back at the crowd, take a deep breath to steady myself, and continue.
“Admittedly, this is a very emotional and challenging time for me. I’ve struggled to understand and accept this situation. Losing your mom is a deeply painful experience, especially at such a young age. It comes with a hurricane of emotions, along with never-ending trials of processing and reflection.”
And especially when she gets abducted and killed by those seated in this very room.
“My mind wants to reject it all. But this is the reality. My mom is no longer with us in this world.” I turn the page on my notes, my heart growing heavier as the words I said sink in. “I don’t know how you can summarize or speak of an entire person’s life. There are so many intricacies. People are dynamic and their relationship with the world is infinitely complex. My mom was a unique human who was more than any of us can fully comprehend or speak to.”
Once the memorial service is over, the staff members close the coffin and start carrying it out of the terrace and down the pathway that leads to her grave. As we step outside, fortunately the rain has stopped––at least momentarily. The sky is of a dark gray that looks just as sad and gloomy as I am. For the sake of precaution, Dad takes his umbrella with him and we follow closely behind Mom, slowly crossing the gardens that stretch for quite a distance.
“What a great speech,” Emma praises in a low voice. “Honestly it was wonderful.”
“Thanks,” I say, matching her discretion. Once we are all walking on the pathway, I glance around and ask in a whisper, “Have you seen him yet?”
Emma heaves a sigh, looking to her right and left. “No, I haven’t.”
Wow. There are no words to describe the disappointment and pain I feel for Alex not showing up. Even his mom and sisters are here. What’s wrong with him?
Emma puts a hand on my back and starts rubbing it to give me some strength. “I’m sure there’s a reason why he didn’t come.”
Oh yes, I know the reason—he hates me for what I did on the day of his arrest. But Emma doesn’t need to know that.
A few minutes later, we finally surround the grave where the staff members put the coffin on the casket-lowering device and press a button which makes the casket descend into the ground. As I watch Mom disappearing from my sight, Dad wraps his arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer to him, and presses a kiss on my head.
“Thanks for being here,” I tell him as I nestle against him.
“Always,” he whispers. The warmth in his voice helps to heal the wounds in my heart. Yet, I wish it’d been Alex doing it instead.
While Father Thomas says a prayer, we start scattering some white petals on her coffin, and my attention goes up to the other side of the grave where a line of people are doing the same. A gasp suddenly rolls off my lips as I catch Alex standing in between them, staring right at me. I blink twice to make sure it’s not my mind playing games, but he’s still here, wearing a black suit and matching overcoat, his blue eyes piercing right through my heart. Oh gosh, I had missed them so damn much. The seriousness on his face is perfectly adequate for the circumstance; his lips remain in a straight line, concealing all emotions. And despite wanting more than anything to call him aside and talk, I switch my attention to Father Thomas as he finishes blessing the grave and we all say amen in sync. Dad and I go and shake his hand, thanking him once more for having come here to host the funeral. Meanwhile guests start talking between themselves since the ceremony is officially over. And before I can start looking for Alex, Carice walks in and gives me a hug, congratulating me for the amazing eulogy I gave. Then she introduces me to the man standing beside her. “Petra, this is Kenneth, the reporter I told you about.”
Kenneth bows his head slightly upon hearing his name and extends a hand to shake mine.
“Kenneth, this is Petra—Tess’s daughter.”
“It’s a pleasure meeting you, I’m so sorry for your loss,” he says politely as we shake hands. After exchanging a few words, Kenneth slides a hand out of his pocket and takes out his iPhone. “Here is the list of questions I would like to ask you.”
After taking his iPhone, I read the seven questions he typed in on his notes app. “Yes, I’m okay with answering them all except numbers four and five.” Those were related to Alex and my in-laws and there was no way in hell I was going to talk about them. The rest were perfectly acceptable given the fact they were just about the nonprofit, and Tess Hagen as a mom and a person.
“Oh, okay.” Kenneth can’t hide his disappointment. “Is there any question I can ask you regarding your relationship with the Van Dierens?”
My brows raise at his blunt move. “Um, I don’t have any interest in talking about them at the moment,” I tell him, keeping my tone polite. “I can talk about Mom and the future of her nonprofit, but not about them.” I look around us, making sure they aren’t listening.
Kenneth knows he has no option but to accept my terms if he still wants to land an interview with me. He ponders for an instant, his lips pressing together before he finally accepts. “Okay, that’s fine.” Yet his tone is filled with frustration. “Shall we go back to the lounge that connects to the terrace? Carice told us we could do it there.”
“Yes, sure.”
Before we go back inside though, I can’t help but scan around the grave to check if Alex is still here. Yet, I only see Dad and Father Thomas, Carice and her colleagues, along with Matt and Eric, and a few other people. I notice my in-laws have also disappeared and I can only come to the conclusion that are all back inside given how cold and unstable the weather is. Hopefully Alex is there with them and it wasn’t my imagination fooling me.
The interview has been progressing well and I must say I’m quite proud of my perfectly crafted answers. Some moments were sadder than others, but Kenneth has been an incredible interviewer for the duration of the experience.
“Was your mom’s activism an inspiration for you? Did she motivate you in any particular way?”
Oh gosh, I saw that question in his notes, and didn’t think much of it, but now… Now I have no idea what to tell him. “Of course. Mom always taught me to fight for what I believe in,” I say, knowing the answer is pretty vague, but that’s intentional. “I truly admire everything she has accomplished, which is why we’ll keep expanding the nonprofit. Her legacy will continue even after her death.”
Kenneth nods at me, a small smile playing on his lips. He then looks down at his notes, before proceeding to the next question. “Your husband is currently suspect number one of your mom’s homicide. Do you think he or his family have anything to do with it?”