Then I go back inside the office and start shaking Eric’s hand a bit too hurriedly. “Thank you for coming,” I tell him, before giving a quick hug to his son. “It was really nice of you both to have come here. I have a few other meetings to attend now.”
“Of course.” Matt gives me one of his charming smiles. “The pleasure was ours.”
Once the Bradfords leave, I instruct Emma to show them the way out, while I go upstairs to my atelier. My heart is hammering inside my chest at the idea we will finally talk after all these days. Plus, this is such a meaningful place for me. After all, that’s where I placed the painting he bought me from Pierre Soulages. Damn, and that was nearly two years ago. Incredible how it still feels like yesterday.
As I stand in front of the door, I knock for the sake of courtesy before twisting the handle and cracking the door open. I look instantly to my right side where the painting is hanging and my eyes alight on his back––a white shirt perfectly stretching his wide shoulders, his hands in his pockets as he admires the masterpiece he gave me.
Oh gosh, I can’t believe Alex is here. And I have this freaking audio recorder in my pocket. Damn it! He turns around, giving me one of his irresistible smiles. Those that make me melt on the spot. Jeez, I want to be mad at him for everything he did to me, to us, to my mom. I want to hate him, slap him, and tell him to go God knows where… But as my eyes linger on him, standing here in my atelier, all I can do is run in his direction, jump into his arms and let myself cry from exhaustion and pain from everything that happened since Mom died. His embrace is home, and despite everything, it still feels like the right place to be after such a gloomy day.
Familiar to the gesture, Alex doesn’t decline me. On the contrary, he wraps his arms around me, holding me tight and I just let my head rest on his chest like I have always done. “Hey,” he whispers warmly.
“Hey,” I reply, my voice matching his. Amid the silence, I keep my arms clasped around his waist while I take a deep breath in and out, trying to tame my loud beats. Then I look him in the eye, but he keeps an expression so formal and contained, that I don’t kiss him. “Thanks for coming. Um, Ryan said you needed some time off, so I didn’t call.”
“You did well,” he says politely. “How are you feeling? Are you managing to cope with everything?”
I nod, and as Alex releases his arms from me, I do the same. “Emma is giving me a hand and, um, Matthew too.”
“Good, I’m glad you’re doing okay.” He sounds so robotic, jeez, I’m not used to talking with him like this, but I play along and adopt the same tone.
“And you?”
“I’m good, waiting for the trial which should start in March.”
I close my eyes for a moment, letting his words sink in. Then the day where he got arrested starts replaying in my mind and I know he expects an explanation for what happened there.
“Alex,” I say in a whisper, looking him deeply in his blue eyes. “I didn’t have a choice, they found her dead body in her hotel room and you were the first suspect they thought of…” I know this conversation is being taped but he needed to know the truth. “When are you coming back home? I miss you so much.”
His lips remain in a straight line, revealing nothing. “I’m staying elsewhere for now.”
“Why?” My heart takes such a reel at his answer that my lips part as I try to drag some precious air into my lungs. “That doesn’t make any sense.”
Despite my question, Alex keeps his expression just as contained. “It does for me.”
“Why are you doing this?” I ask, my tone coming out more outraged than I expected. “You’re my husband, you have to come back.”
His eyes drift down for a moment as he considers my question. “Because I can’t trust you anymore.”
I gasp, his words crashing me to the core. “What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean.” And there’s no need to ask anything further, because I read the answer in his gaze.
I don’t know how he found out, but I knew sooner or later he would, so I just tell him the rest. “I didn’t have a choice.”
“We all do, Petra,” he ripostes flatly.
“I didn’t!” I snap back. And before we get into a useless argument that would bring further division between us, I focus on what truly matters to me. “Please, come back home,” I plead softly, reaching for his collar. “I don’t care if you don’t talk to me, but at least come back.”
“Are you gonna testify against me?”
His question is enough to paralyze my entire body, I drop my gaze to the floor, searching for the best words to put on, but there are none. “I…”
Alex removes my hands from him like I have the plague and takes a step back. “If you need anything, you may contact my attorney.”
I can’t blink, I can’t move, I’m totally numb at his formal and harsh attitude toward me. He’s behaving like we aren’t even married anymore, like we are some sort of strangers.
“See you in court, Ms. Van Gatt.”
My lips part, unable to hide my disappointment. The tears are resting on my eyelids as I watch Alex walking past me, ready to leave this conversation behind.
“So are we done?” My question hangs in the air, making him stop mid way. And I’m glad it did. “After everything we went through, you want to break up now?” My mind is blank, my heart barely beating, my ears barely wanting to hear his answer.
Alex turns around, rubbing his eyelids tiredly, before looking me in the eye from where he is, and sounding defeated, he says, “I don’t think I can forgive such a betrayal.”
“You killed my mom!” I remind him.
“I didn’t,” he ripostes. Then he starts marching back toward me and says, “They have nothing to prove that I did. Did I have motives? Yes, I had, just like you did, but I didn’t kill her.” He pauses to calm himself down while he stands right in front of me. “I didn’t even know about the nano-particles in her body until your dad told me about them.”
I smile internally, knowing this is also being taped. Well, if they expected a confession, the only one they will get is that he is innocent.
Looking him straight in the eye, I ask, “So who did it?”
“I don’t know.” I’m sure he knows that it’s his family—his mom, his sisters, maybe Sebastian—but Alex will never denounce them, and that might be a problem in court. Since he has already spoken enough about the case, I focus the conversation on us, because to me, that’s what I’m here for. “Can’t we forgive each other and move forward?”
My eyes never leave his, yet Alex starts looking in the void as he considers me. Finally his eyes meet mine, yet his face is just as emotionless as before. “Once the case is over, I’ll reassess our situation.”
“Our situation?” I don't hide the astonishment in my tone, and then I just huff at him. “Well, when it comes to our situation I have something to tell you first.” Alex frowns, cocking his head to the side, and waits patiently for me to do so. Oh boy… I wanted to play tough but now I have to go through it until the end. I’ve got no idea how he’ll react, but I can only hope he won’t react like last time. I take a deep breath in and out, before making him one single question. “Do you mind coming with me to the next prenatal appointment?”