I wanted us to be equal. To be balanced. Because I’d always taken without being able to give back to him.
I spun around and rushed toward the door, not caring that I was causing a scene or that the staff who knew me were calling after me. I hadn’t even paid for my drink, but I had to get away from Hyde, and his admission that he missed me was a life and death situation. My mind was racing, and all those emotions and feelings I fought so hard to keep in check were tearing wildly at their restraints.
I planned to make a mad dash to my car, but that plan was thwarted when a rough hand wrapped around my upper arm and pulled me to a stop. I let out a yelp of surprise as I was spun around, and my back landed on the brick wall of the building. Several people on the sidewalk stepped around me and Hyde, but apparently the dangerous vibes he radiated were enough to make them keep their distance.
I wasn’t scared of Hyde. I knew no matter what had happened between us in the past or what occurred now, he would never hurt me. I knew that was an indisputable fact.
I put my hand on the center of his chest and pushed as he leaned closer.
Now, he was definitely in my space and crowding me on purpose. There was no way to get away from him or the heat radiating from his body.
“Don’t run away from me, Remy. I don’t like it.”
I couldn’t stop the strangled laugh that burst from my lips. I pushed against his chest again and glared up at him. “I didn’t like it when you ran away from me either, but I learned to live with it. So will you.”
I gasped a little when he leaned closer by bracing his arm above my head. He bent down, so his lips were alarmingly close to my ear, and whispered, “I just want the chance to get to know you again. I’ve screwed up a lot of things in my life, and I’m doing my best to make them right. I won’t tell you who to be, Remy. I just want you.”
I let out another hysterical laugh and thumped the side of my fist on his strong chest. “You want me?”
Belatedly he must’ve realized the multiple implications of what he’d said. A flash of panic crossed his gaze, and he moved like he was going to push himself off the wall and retreat.
However, I wasn’t someone who let a gauntlet lie. Before I could process all the ways in which my next actions could blow up in my face or turn the tide on the tentative truce we’d called, I grabbed a fistful of his t-shirt and pulled him closer.
I saw his eyes widen and a protest start to form on his lips, but I didn’t give him time to argue before I lifted up on the tips of my toes to touch my mouth to his.
Since I was three years old and Hyde was five, I’d chased him around and stolen playful kisses whenever I caught him off guard.
Maybe I thought this would be similar, that he wouldn’t take it seriously, or it would shock him so much he would push me away and finally keep his damn distance.
I wasn’t ready for his soft sound of surrender. I wasn’t ready for him to suddenly take this so seriously. He moved one of his hands to hold the side of my face and the other to rest on the curve of my waist, and it was shockingly sweet. I wasn’t ready for the way it made my body and mind feel to be so close to him after he was ripped out of my life so violently all those years ago. I felt like I was on fire and ice cold at the same time.
More than any of those things, what I really, really wasn’t ready for was when Hyde kissed me back as if his life depended on it.
Hyde
A LOT HAD changed between the first time Remy kissed me and now.
We were no longer children. We didn’t know everything about each other anymore. I finally felt like I might’ve figured out what it meant to love someone the way they deserved because of my kid. And the biggest change: I finally felt like I was ready to kiss her back.
A switch flipped in my head, a light flipped on inside my heart, and now when I looked at Remy, I no longer saw the little girl I wanted to protect at all costs. She no longer felt like a younger sibling I wanted to guide. She didn’t come across as a young woman on the brink of disaster anymore. She didn’t seem like she would fall apart without me at any moment. In fact, she didn’t seem to give a single shit about me. This version of Remy seemed to have her shit more together than I had at any point in the last eight years. I was both proud and envious of her.
All those times when I let her catch me and kiss me, she’d been playful and tried to push my boundaries. It was a game. She was always blurring the line between the friendship I wanted to maintain and the more that she wanted. She was tempting and teasing but always knew when to pull it back. She liked to make me uncomfortable and uneasy, but it was harmless. The effortless affection was as much a part of her as her contagious laughter and stubbornness. She was warm and demonstrative with everyone she was close to, but I realized she’d reined it in over the years. She wasn’t as touchy-feely. She kept a purposeful distance these days. She was more composed and less free with her affections. This kiss wasn’t a tool to pull me closer like in the old days; this was a weapon she was using to try and drive me away. Unfortunately for her, I didn’t plan on going anywhere now that everything in my life felt like it was finally falling into place.
I threaded my fingers through her curly hair and cupped the back of her head so she couldn’t escape as I returned her surprise kiss with one of my own. I leaned into her small frame, effectively blocking her from the view of anyone who happened to pass by on the sidewalk. I curled a hand around her hip since she had to lift up on her toes to align our mouths. I liked the way she felt pressed against me, and I took full advantage of her surprised gasp when she realized I was kissing her back instead of pushing her away.
This was no friendly peck or a simple touch of the lips. From the start, it was tongues and teeth. It was lips lingering and lungs searching for air as each second the passion and pressure deepened. It was wet and hot. It was uncomfortable because my body instantly reacted and because I wanted to devour her. I was not a guy who often lost his head to desire and want. I wasn’t someone who got carried away; I was too logical and rational for that, but right this second, I wanted to pull all of Remy’s clothes off and press her even harder against the bricks at her back. I wanted to taste all of her and touch her everywhere.
I don’t know where this attraction and hunger came from since I’d known her most of my life, but whatever Remy awoke in my blood since I’d been back was insatiable, and I couldn’t get enough of her.
Kissing Remy Archer for real was a whole sensory experience.
My skin tingled.
My ears were ringing, and I could hear the thump of my heart underneath the buzz.
I couldn’t look away from the pink flush in her cheeks and the way her eyebrows knitted together in confusion.
My nose was full of the fruity scent of whatever she used to wash her hair and the sugary scent that seemed to cling to her skin. It was a smell that had always been purely Remy, and it hadn’t changed one bit in all this time.
And the way she tasted… there was a hint of coffee and cream from her drink. There was something like honey or dark caramel from the flavored syrup that made her taste like a dessert. Candy. She was a delectable treat that was melting on my tongue, and I wanted to eat it up. This was hands-down the sweetest, most memorable kiss I’d ever had.
Eventually, Remy relaxed a little, and I felt the tip of her tongue tentatively touch mine. I also felt the hand she was using to grip my t-shirt loosen so that her fingers were resting over my heart. I wondered if she could feel the way it was pounding. I let my hand slide along the curve of her waist and practically groaned when my fingertips encountered bare skin. Apparently, the back of her shirt was shorter than the front and exposed a lot of skin. I didn’t notice when she walked in or when she marched away from me because I was so caught up in my own head, but now all I wanted to do was turn her around so I could drag both my fingers and tongue across the sexy small of her back.