And I bought myself groceries and stocked my fridge for the very first time.
Then I paid my bills and deposited the rest of the money into my savings account.
Our second check was triple the first.
Once again, Josh whisked Skylar away on a fancy trip. Along with buying an engagement ring, a swanky mansion, and another fucking Ferrari.
Memphis got himself an apartment in LA while Storm and I moved out of the one we shared and went fifty-fifty on a villa.
And a condo for Grams…despite her protests.
The checks got even bigger after that, but I already had a sweet home, a nice car, and groceries in the fridge so I was more than content.
Josh wasn’t, though. Every check he got he spent on extravagant shit for himself, over-the-top gifts that Skylar begged him to return, drugs, prostitutes, and fuck knows what else.
Despite earning more than we’d ever be able to spend in our lifetimes, guess who started having money problems by the time our second album went diamond?
The only positive that came from watching Josh burn his money was that it reinforced for the rest of us just how important it was not to spend it all like you were dying the next day.
Ironic, considering Josh perished so young.
The constant guilt hanging like a black cloud over my head threatens to take over, but I can’t have a pity party right now because my sister—who has chip crumbs all over her face and shirt—is currently gaping at me like I sprouted another head. “What am I supposed to do for money?”
The same thing I had to do when I was her age. Work.
“Congrats. You’re our new merch girl.”
Chandler—who’s entering the kitchen—shakes his head. “Absolutely not.”
Quinn lets out a belch loud enough to wake the dead. “How come?”
The vein in Chandler’s forehead bulges as he eyeballs me. “She’s been with us for over a week now. Are we going to get our new bundle of joy an education, or are we going to leave her undomesticated?”
“Hey,” Quinn exclaims, clearly offended. “I’m potty trained.”
Storm, who was typing out a text on his phone, looks up. “Thank fuck for that.”
While her being housebroken is a plus, Chandler’s right. I need to enroll her in school.
I’m just not sure how that’s going to work, given my lifestyle.
I look at Lennon. “I know a good tutor.”
Plus, if she agrees, it will give her a reason to stay longer.
No dice though because Lennon says, “She’s gonna need more than a tutor.”
I focus on Quinn again. “What grade are you in?”
“I start my junior year after the summer.”
Graduation is a long time away. Fuck.
Quinn waves a hand like it’s no big deal. “Don’t worry. I can get my GED.”
“You can also sign her up for online high school classes,” Lennon suggests.
I think about this for a bit. It’s not a bad idea, but if Quinn’s anything like me, she might have difficulty when it comes to learning.
“Do you think you can handle that? If not, it’s okay.”
“Totally doable, bro.” She licks each of her fingers. “I’m one of the top students in my class.”
“Must be a small class,” Storm mutters.
Quinn rolls her eyes. “I’m serious. I’m actually really smart.”
Lennon squeezes my knee under the table. “You and your brother have that in common.”
CHAPTER 57
LENNON
“I heard he likes blondes.”
Not anymore.
“I heard he has his dick pierced.”
Negative.
“I heard he doesn’t like to kiss.”
I raise my phone, attempting to hide my smile.
Actually, he loves it.
“I heard it’s so big you’ll be sore for a week straight.”
I shift my stance and that familiar ache I’ve become addicted to throbs between my legs.
Can confirm.
A moment later, the hoard of impatient girls standing at the meet-and-greet table scream Phoenix’s name like he’s their messiah when he walks backstage.
However, I’m the one he makes a beeline for.
His gaze turns molten when he reaches me and he lifts a hand, intending to touch my face. I give him a warning look since we’re not only in public, but Chandler is lurking around.
His hand clenches into a fist as he drops it. Scowling, he stands beside me and mutters a curse …like it’s taking every ounce of willpower to restrain himself.
That makes two of us.
Attempting to get a handle on things, I jut my chin at the group of girls desperately vying for his attention.
“They want you.”
His mouth bends into a wolfish grin. “Everyone wants me.” Dipping his head, he brushes his lips over my ear. “But only you get to have me.”
My heart slams into my ribs.
As if knowing the impact of his words, his gaze slowly sweeps up my body, deliberate and blatant, before walking over to the group of fans.
My clothes suddenly feel like they’re smothering me. I have the reckless urge to march over there, steal him away, and make him screw me in front of everyone just to verify his statement.
That’s when I notice George staring at me from across the room.
Guilt is a heavy cinder block in my chest. We haven’t spoken since that night at the club and he has every reason to hate me.
While you can’t choose who you’re attracted to, the way things ended between us wasn’t right.
I owe him a sincere apology and I’m hoping he’ll finally allow me to give him one.
Drawing in a deep breath, I make my way over to him.
“Hey. Can we talk?”
He snorts into his drink. “Last time we talked, it ended with you fucking the guy you swore you didn’t have feelings for.”
Fair enough. Although that’s not entirely accurate. The only feelings I’ll allow myself to have for him are the carnal kind.
The safe kind.
“It’s not like that. I don’t have feelings for Ph—” I stop myself from uttering his name in the nick of time because Chandler strolls by. “I’m really sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”
Another snort leaves him. “Yes, you did.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to assure him that wasn’t the case, but then he says, “You knew I had feelings for you, Lennon. But instead of doing the right thing and telling me you didn’t return them, you strung me along so you could use me.” His face twists with disgust. “Telling yourself you never meant to hurt me might help you sleep better, but it doesn’t change the truth. You’re not a good person. You’re a selfish one.”
I’m him.
My heart lodges in my throat with the realization.
Although different scenarios, what I did to George is similar to what Phoenix did to me.
And to think, there was a time when I would have killed to be Phoenix Walker.
Guess I got my wish.
I’ve been shoving all my pain into a safe and forcing myself to forget so I can enjoy the sex, but George’s words just busted that safe wide open and all the contents inside are searing my soul.