So I shopped and channeled all my emotions into feeding the economy.
Davey stops me when we step off the elevator on our floor with a gentle hand on my arm. I keep pulling the cart, moving us out of the way of the elevator doors.
“You know what they’ve been doing in there, right?”
“I don’t. I just could sense that it was something big and they needed this time together.” The nervous energy I had beat back during the day starts to climb again.
“I don’t know what he’s been through since he left, and I don’t need to know. I’ve been around these big strong men for a long time, but I still don’t know what they’re thinking most of the time. They’ve talked about him, you know. They’ve never let him die, sweet girl. I’ve seen pictures of him, yet even I struggled to recognize him as he is after all this time. He sure was something back then, and if my honey works his magic the way I know he will, I imagine you’ll be looking at a different man when we open that door. He’ll be stripped of a lot more than hairs. My honey has a way of cutting pain away as effortlessly as he does hair. I don’t mean to pry, but are you sure you’re ready for what’s coming?”
Again, I nod silently, swallowing the thickness in my throat.
It isn’t lost on me when we left and I saw Sway setting up a beauty station, that I was getting out of their for more than just a shopping trip. I wasn’t lying when I told Davey I could sense something. I just knew as sure as the sun would rise in the morning and set in the evening, they needed to be alone. I’m sure I was driving him up the wall earlier, worrying about him, too. I’m not even a little upset that he thought this was something best to do without me.
“I’m ready, but even if I wasn’t, I would stand tall and pretend for him. That said, I’m worried about how your friends will handle all of this. I think that pales in comparison, though, to my concern over how he’s going to handle all of this.”
His smile is small, but full of compassion, mixing with the understanding and caring light that he’s had burning in his gaze all day.
“Oh honey, one thing about this family is they forgive just as fiercely as they love. There will be a lot of tears, that I’m sure of, but those tears will lead to something incredibly wonderful: their family will finally be complete with a piece they never thought they would fill again.”
“You really think it’s going to be that simple?”
He reaches out and takes my hand in his.
“There was a time that I would laugh and say nothing ever came simple for them, but now? They’ve all lived. They’ve all lost. Now, because of all that, each one of them knows how precious life is one way or the other. They might have stopped wishing for him to still be with them as often, but that isn’t because they didn’t wish that be the case with all they had. They had to stop bringing his ghost into their every day in order to move on. There’s been a void as big as the Grand Canyon within them all since the day he left. I know you’re worried and that you care deeply for him, but they aren’t going to hurt him. Let me ask you, if you had this chance with someone you had lost, would you be angry or happy to have them back?”
His question slams into me. I hadn’t let myself drift down this hole, but now that it’s been asked, I can’t help but imagine a life where my sister returned to us. Where Riley didn’t have to know what it was like not to have her parents alive. Where my beautiful sister was smiling, happy, and breathing free? I know, hand to heart, I wouldn’t even think twice about how I felt. I would live in that dream with so much happiness, all the pain from years before would be gone in an instant.
I jump when I feel him reach up and wipe away a tear I hadn’t realized had started falling down my cheek.
“Yes, you get it, sweet girl.”
He hugs me, and after a few deep breaths, we start pulling the cart down the hall.
“It would be the greatest gift,” I tell him, finally answering his world-rocking question before I put the key in the door. “To have her back with me and Riley? It would be everything.”
“People are given second chances for a reason. Life is meant to be lived and even through the hard times, there’s always that question of what-if. We wouldn’t be human without it. Sometimes it’s hard, messy, or even beautiful. Sometimes it’s all at once. Fear is a nasty companion to ride you. Don’t let it stifle your sunshine. You leave that in the past and you live your life big, bold and beautiful. Do it for you and do it for those people who you’ve lost who will not get the chance.”
I hug him, his words wrapping around my heart.
“Thank you for that,” I tell him honestly, taking his words and engraving them into my soul.
“Not necessary, sweet girl. What do you say we go in there and see what those two have been up to. I should warn you first, though … you should probably brace now.”
“Brace?”
He nods, a secret smile curling his lips slightly.
“What does that even mean?”
He laughs but doesn’t respond. Instead, he finishes unlocking the door for me and pulling the cart in behind him. I catch the door as it’s starting to close behind him, right before it snicks closed, jarring me out of my confusion. I follow, still mulling over his strange warning.
Brace for what? Meeting the family that has thought Zeke was dead for so very long? I feel like I’ve been doing a dang good job of bracing if I don’t say so myself. Running from this man isn’t something I think I’m even capable of doing. Understanding came freely and easily. One would think, if I needed to brace, it would have been the day he told me he had been living with this secret identity. That, though, never once crossed my mind. Being mad at him? No way. Not when he was too busy hating himself for something he had no ability to control then. He’s been a victim in this too. To keep his family safe, he had given that sacrifice. To live in pain. I wouldn’t dream of adding to that. I know more than anyone how precious life is. Davey was right … in the same situation, I wouldn’t be mad at my sister. I would cherish that gift with everything I had in me. I just pray that his family feels the same.
When we clear the threshold, I see Sway sitting on the couch in the hotel room’s living area. He’s got a big smile on his face, his eyes shining toward his husband. The room looks the same as when I left, so there clearly wasn’t some big bad thing I should be bracing for when I walked in. I feel my brow furrow as I keep looking, searching, and coming up blank.
“He’s in the shower, honey pie,” Sway tells me, breaking into my scan of the room. “Now, normally Sway would leave you two lovebirds to the moment alone, but this is not to be missed! Never thought I would get my hands on that man, but whoa, nelly.” He fans himself with his hand. “I would go as far to say it was worth the wait, too.” He tosses his head back and laughs loudly.
“You seem way too happy about having your hands on another man,” Davey jests.
Sway swats his hand in the air and bellows out another laugh. “As if he could handle me.”
Davey walks over and sits down on the couch next to his husband. He gets a kiss the second his bottom lands, and I can’t help but feel a little lightness as I watch them together. They’re adorable and clearly still very much in love. They’re touching, their sides meshed together even with space to allow another two people to sit. I understand their preference to be nearby. It’s the same I feel toward Zeke.