I need to let go.
I need to let go of all the anger I’m holding in—anger at myself, Maddox, my mother, and even the man who killed my father. I can see that holding on to all this hatred is only going to hurt myself and those around me.
I barely park the car all the way before throwing the door open and running into the familiar house.
“Mom!” I cry out. “Mom!”
“Madison?” my mom comes to the front door in her bathrobe, looking worried. “I didn’t know you were coming. Is everything okay?”
I grab her into a big hug, feeling tears burn behind my eyes. “I’m sorry, Mom,” I say. “I’m sorry I was so horrible the other day.”
“Oh, no, honey,” says my mom, and I hear tears in her muffled voice over my shoulder. “I’m the one who should be sorry. I should never have sprung the news about Richie on you like that. Maddox was right. It was incredibly selfish of me.”
“Maddox?” I ask, pulling back. “What does Maddox have to do with it?”
“Oh, well,” Mom says, looking ashamed. “After you ran out, he said some things. And he was absolutely right. I’ve put you through more than you deserve since your dad died. I’ve been self-centered and not as good of a mom or a person as I need to be. I’m working on it, and I want to be better for you.”
“It’s okay,” I sniffle.
“It’s really not,” says my mom. “I know I need to work on myself and our relationship, and I promise you, I’m going to try.”
We stand in the doorway, hugging, until Mom breaks the gravity of the moment by saying, “And I know we haven’t talked since I met him, but Madison, that boy Maddox is gorgeous!”
I laugh and wipe my eyes. “Yeah, he is, isn’t he?”
“Is he really just a friend, Madison? It seemed like there was more between you two…a lot more.”
“I don’t know anymore,” I admit.
“Well, I suggest you find out because he seems like a keeper to me,” says my mom with a wink. “Why don’t you come in and have some coffee and tell me all about it?”
I smile at her gratefully. “That sounds perfect.”
25
Maddox
I’m in my bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, when I hear my front door slam and Axel’s voice calling up the stairs.
“Hey, shithead, time to wake up!”
I groan and pull the covers over my head, hearing Axel’s footsteps thundering up the steps to my bedroom.
“Rise and shine, sleeping beauty!” says Axel, flinging the covers off my body and onto the floor, just like he used to when we lived together. “Ew, it reeks in here. When’s the last time you showered?” He looks around the messy room, full of takeout containers and empty beer bottles. “Or ate? Or got out of bed?”
“Leave me alone, Axel,” I murmur, flipping over to face away from him and burying my head under the pillow.
“I don’t think so, bud,” says Axel, whipping the pillow away from me and smacking me with it. “No more pity party. Tell me what’s wrong with you. This isn’t like you.”
“Madison’s gone,” I moan pitifully.
“Madison? Seriously? This is about Madison? Wow, you must really have it bad for her, huh?” Axel asks.
“Yeah, Axel,” I say angrily, still facing away from him while he perches on the end of my bed. “I’m in love with her. So go ahead. Make fun all you want.”
Axel is quiet for a minute. “Tempting as it is to make light of your pain, I can see this is really bothering you, so I’m going to try to be serious for a minute. If you really feel that strongly about her, then I support it. And I’ve talked to Clara, and she and Madison seem to be fine with each other, so I assume Clara’s not mad at you anymore either. So why don’t you get out of bed, take a shower, and get your ass back into the office? We’re falling apart without you,” he teases.
“She dumped me,” I say simply, the pain of saying it still nearly making me black out.
“What?”
“She left me, Ax. Just like everybody leaves me. Jasmine, our parents…”
“Hang on a second,” Axel says incredulously. “First of all, Jasmine was a bitch. I hate to say it, but you know it’s true. And nobody liked her. I’ve always said you’re better off without her. She sucks. Good riddance,” he says, waving his hand in the air as if to brush Jasmine away. “And as for our parents,” he says, his voice becoming softer and more sincere. “They didn’t leave us, Mad. They were addicts. And they died. And it’s awful and horrible, but it happened. If they could’ve gotten their shit together and made us a normal family, don’t you think they would have? But they were just people, and people have flaws and demons. Theirs got the best of them. We suffered unspeakable tragedy. But there are so many people who love us, Maddox. So many people love you.”
I feel the bed shift as he crosses the legs. I turn over in the bed and see him counting on his fingers. “Me, Clara, Declan, the Millers… We all love you. Not to mention every girl that’s fallen head over heels for you that you don’t give the time of day to, everyone at the office—”
“Everyone at the office does not love me,” I scoff.
“Okay, yeah, true, but that’s only because you’re their boss, and everybody hates their boss,” Axel grins.
I look up at Axel. “When did you get so smart, anyway?”
“Hey, one of us had to get all the brains in the womb, am I right?” I kick him, but not too hard.
“But what about Madison?” I say, hating myself for sounding so pathetic.
“What about her? If she can’t see how awesome you are, then she doesn’t deserve you. But if you really care about her this much, you should go after her. With looks like these,” Axel strikes a ridiculous pose, “who can resist us, am I right?”
“I don’t know about that,” I say dubiously.
“Come on, I’m going to go make you some coffee and breakfast, and I better hear the shower running in five minutes. We’ll eat and figure out a plan to get you back in Madison’s pants—I mean, get Madison back, sorry. And then we’re going into the office. No more moping around. Got it?”
“Got it.”
“That’s my man!” cheers Axel, standing up to head down to the kitchen.
“Hey, Ax?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks.”
“Anytime, bro.”
26
Madison
After patching things up with my mom, and talking through the whole Maddox situation with her (leaving out the details of our crazy sex life), I’m determined to talk to Maddox, tell him I forgive him, and make things right.
I’m in my room getting dressed to go see him when Clara bursts in.
“Hey Madison, I—whoa, you look nice. Hot date?” she says, interrupting herself when she sees me. I’m wearing the same green velvet dress I wore to Thanksgiving dinner with the Millers. My legs are bare, and I’ve paired the dress with high-heeled booties and little diamond stud earrings. I’ve straightened my hair, and without the natural waves, it hangs down almost to my butt.