The longer I talked, the less impressed Del seemed. I realized that all of the little off-chance scenarios added up to one big, very real possibility that I could be pregnant with Damon’s baby. I finally just stopped talking, and Del was gracious enough to let us sit in silence until Angel returned.
My friends really were the best anyone could ever ask for. They knew I didn’t handle stress well and that I went into a sort of lockdown mode. Maybe it was their constant coddling that kept me that way. But I wasn’t complaining as I slipped into zombie form and let them shuffle me into the bathroom. I barely noticed Del locking the front door of the shop and turning the closed sign around temporarily. It was all a blur as they guided me through the directions of the test.
“I’ve never had a pregnancy scare before,” I said in a breathless, panicked whine while we waited for the results. “I don’t do things like this. I don’t have time to have irresponsible sex. Especially not more than once.”
“Well, apparently you do and you have because here we are, awaiting the results,” Angel chimed.
They gave me pitying looks when we all realized time was up. Del stepped over and peered at the window of the little stick. I studied her face carefully, but she kept it completely blank as she turned back to me. All she had to do was nod and I felt the perfect dream vision of my life crumble around me. I knew the risk of Damon and I throwing ourselves into this thing and shattering in the process, but this wasn’t how I pictured it happening.
“What do you want to do?” she asked after a while.
By that point, my face was buried in my hands while I sobbed inconsolably. They offered up gobs of crumpled toilet paper for me to wipe my nose and eyes with.
“This is not how things were supposed to be at all,” I sniffled. “I was willing to risk my heart...but not everything else about my life.”
“You’re obviously falling in love with Damon,” Angel offered. “And you’ve always wanted a family.”
“But he hasn’t!” I cried.
Del placed a hand on my shoulder. “You don’t know that. Has he said that?”
I steadied my voice and stared at the floor. “No. Not exactly.”
They pulled me up from the toilet seat and ushered me back out into the shop. Angel kept a watch over everything while Del drove me back to my apartment and helped me inside. I plopped down on my couch, having slipped back into a complete daze.
She brought me water, tea, and crackers and sat with me until I was ready to talk. She didn’t offer advice, for once, but let me vent out every tiny thing going through my head until I was blue in the face. When I had run out of things to say, she hugged me and told me everything would be okay no matter what. I wanted to believe her. I also had a rise of excitement that was building as I conquered the shock of it all.
I was pregnant with Damon’s baby. That part was as final and certain as the sun in the sky. But if I was going to tell him and discuss the possibility of raising this baby together, I needed him to make all the promises he said he couldn’t. I needed more time with him to decide if I could trust him not to hurt me.
By the time I laid down in bed that night, ignoring Damon’s calls and texts, I had decided that this needed to remain a secret. I needed more time to decide if raising a baby with him, or even considering the possibility, would be too hard or heartbreaking. If it came down to having his baby without us actually being together, I knew it would be too much for me to take. I would just leave town without ever telling him. I always wondered what it would take to lure me out of my hometown to go start again somewhere new, and apparently I had found the answer.
Until then, I needed to see him again and try to decide if we could really be happy together. I couldn’t walk away without finding out.
15
Damon
Maybe this was the secret to making things work. To not think or make any promises. But to just enjoy every day as if it could be the last and carry on as if it could last forever.
That was what I was convinced of when I called Lizzy and told her to get her shifts covered at her jobs for a few days. I told her to tell them she’d bribe them with money if she had to. I was willing to pay whatever it took to steal us a few days away from the demands of our busy schedules. And she deserved a break even more than I did.
I spared no expense in planning the trip because I had the sneaking suspicion that Lizzy didn’t feel as confident as I did in our recent smooth sailing. She had become distant and distracted, and on more than one occasion had gone hours or even a day or two avoiding my calls or texts. Whatever was making her doubt in what we had, I was ready to whisk her away and make her forget it for good.
My car pulled up to her apartment, and I sent one of my guys up to help her down with her bags. I was leaning against the car waiting for her when she came down. Dressed to the nines in my luxury vacation wear with linen pants and patterned Dolce and Gabbana shirt, I pulled the shades off of my face and greeted her with a smooth smile. She looked more stunning than I did in the Versace tropical dress I had bought her with gold strappy shoes to match.
“Hey, beautiful.” I opened the door for her and kissed her cheek as she climbed in.
Once we settled into the backseat, I noticed the distance again in her smile. It was the look that had made me question whether or not she would even agree to the trip in the first place, but she had accepted the invitation. That had to be a good sign. I figured whatever was on her mind, it was nothing a few days on the white sandy beaches and crystal clear waters of the Maldives beaches couldn’t solve.
“So, obviously we’re going to the beach,” she said as the car took off. “judging by everything you sent for me to pack. The question is...where?”
“It’s all a surprise. You brought your passport like I told you?”
Her eyes widened. “Well, yeah...but...I didn’t think we’d actually be using them. I thought that was a just-in-case kind of thing.”
“No, I didn’t fast-track your passport for just in case,” I laughed. The idea of traveling internationally was such a far-off concept to her that she had never bothered getting a passport. Luckily, I knew how to take care of that.
It was Lizzy’s constant surprise at my lifestyle that made me fall for her even harder. She never expected anything from me, and was head over heels with gratitude for even the smallest treats. Her stunned look when we pulled up to the carpet and private jet was precisely the sort of thing that made me want to give her even more.
“No way,” she beamed.
“Oh, yes way.”
The escorts opened our doors as some of the attendants started transporting our luggage onto the plane. I delighted in the look in her eyes as I held her hand and led her up the steps.
“This is unlike any plane I’ve ever seen before,” she gasped when she walked in to see the plush white couches and full bar.
“It has a bed too,” I winked.
She narrowed her eyes at me. “Why do I get the feeling this isn’t the first time you’ve jetsetted off with some girl around the world before?”
“Neither of us were virgins, baby. And anyway...if you had the same resources at your disposal, you don’t think you would have used them to seduce Jeff the doctor or some dude like him?”