“A message?”
Dane nods. “He sees what’s going on between us, and yes… there is something happening between you and me that neither of us thought would happen. I think he’s telling us that we need to pay attention to it.”
My heart plummets even as a small dose of relief sweeps through me. I think he’s right, but there’s still some doubt. “How do we know that for sure?”
“We don’t,” Dane says grimly as he brushes his lips across my forehead. “But I’m going to talk to him and find out exactly what he wants and needs.”
I jolt in surprise. “Right now?”
“Yeah,” he says softly. “I need to know I’m calling this right.”
“And if you are?” I ask hesitantly. “What does that mean for us?”
Dane presses his mouth to mine briefly. When he pulls back, I’m torn over the mixed emotions on his face.
Fear, excitement, vulnerability, hope.
“I have no clue what it means for us,” he says. “But we’ll figure it out.”
CHAPTER 23
Dane
“What are you doing here?” Andrew asks with surprise after he opens the door to his apartment. “You should be at Avril’s.”
“I was there. But you weren’t so I figured we needed to talk.”
Andrew smiles and there’s nostalgia within it, so without him ever saying a word, I know coming here was the right thing.
“Come on in,” he says as he steps back.
I’ve been in Andrew’s apartment countless times, usually to watch sports on a weekend or to attend some impromptu dinner party he threw together. Andrew’s a social creature and has a ton of friends.
It’s small by my standards and way too confining for me. But it’s quintessential Andrew with pop art decorating the walls and bright-colored furniture.
I follow him into the living room and see he’d been working. He’s got his laptop on the coffee table and papers spread out all over the table, floor, and couch.
“What are you working on?” I ask as I take a seat in a navy-blue club chair.
“Just some beta reports,” he says with a resigned sigh as he takes the couch.
“And you chose that over having a threesome with Avril and me?” I ask him.
His smile doesn’t falter, but there’s no humor in his voice. “I just can’t.”
“Can’t get it up?” I push at him crudely so we don’t waste time beating around the bush.
Andrew rolls his eyes. “I can’t complicate things anymore.”
“You’re complicating things?”
Sitting forward on the couch, Andrew looks at me with such seriousness I feel like he’s getting ready to give me his resignation from the company or something. “I don’t know if you and Avril are even aware of it, but there’s something deeper going on with you two. I know Avril enjoys me in her bed with you, but she also wouldn’t miss me there either.”
“I don’t think that’s true,” I tell him carefully. Because Avril would most definitely miss him. She cares for him, and the sex is stellar. Hell, I’m going to miss him there.
“Regardless,” he says dismissively with a wave of his hand. “Whatever is happening between the two of you, it can’t be taken lightly. It’s one thing to be casual about what we’ve been doing, but it’s turned into something different with the two of you. Am I right?”
With a sigh, I sink back down into the chair and press my fingers to my nose. When I look back to him, I admit, “I’ve never felt this way about a woman.”
“What way?” Andrew asks, now the one pushing back at me.
A feeling of panic rises within me, because my feelings have been all over the place the last few weeks. Everything is so new and unchartered.
“I think about her all the time,” I tell my best friend, hoping that by releasing the words out into the open, I can at the very least try to make sense of things. “And not just sex. I wonder what she’s fucking watching on TV before she goes to bed, or if she sings in the shower.”
An amused smile slowly creeps onto Andrew’s face, but I ignore it.
“I’m jealous as fuck that douche Jamie sent her flowers. I want to knock the crap out of him again.”
Andrew nods. “Wouldn’t argue with you there.”
“I was jealous of you,” I admit in a low voice, my eyes dropping down to where my hands rest on my knees.
“I know,” Andrew says, and my eyes snap up to him.
“How could you know?”
“I just know,” he returns with a shrug. “I just feel it when I’m with you two, and it’s so evident when we’re in bed together.”
“So, you think your participation with us will what… hurt what Avril and I are building together?”
“Maybe,” Andrew says. “Maybe not. You both are into the sex club thing, so maybe you’ll find a third to join you there at some point. But if you want my advice, you need to concentrate on the two of you first. Because it could be disastrous if this falls apart.”
He doesn’t have to tell me that. It’s the thing that worries me the most. If I break Avril’s heart somehow, the friendship is going to be ruined, not to mention our working relationship. It will change everything.
While I was pretty sure Andrew was done with this when I came here, I really wanted more than anything to get his advice. “I’m not going to lie to you. There’s a part of me that wants you to stick with this, because it will prevent things from developing with Avril and me.”
There.
I said it.
My real fear has been voiced.
Andrew nods. “Yeah… I stay in the bed with you two, and things aren’t going to go very far between you.”
I shoot him a sheepish smile. “So stay with us. There’s no rush on things.”
“Coward.” Andrew smirks back at me.
“I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing,” I grouse as I push up from the chair. I start pacing his living room. “I don’t know how to be in a relationship. I don’t know how to count on someone. I don’t know how to be there for someone.”
“That’s bullshit,” Andrew says bluntly. “You’ve been in a relationship with Avril for seventeen years. That’s what friendship is… a relationship. You’ve counted on her time and time again when it comes to your business. You’ve been there for her before, most recently when Jamie cheated on her. You know how to do it all; you just have to figure out how to apply it to these new circumstances.”
He’s not telling me anything I don’t know. I’m fucking smart enough and self-aware enough to understand my issues.
What I’m really afraid of is not me breaking Avril’s heart, because I can figure this shit out for sure.
I’m afraid she’s going to break my heart, and I don’t want to feel that pain again. I felt it when I lost my father, and if it was so easy for a father to lose his son, then I stand an even greater risk with Avril. She’s not my flesh and blood.
“Get over your trust issues,” Andrew advises as I look out the windows to the Vegas night skyline. “They shouldn’t apply to Avril. She’d never hurt you.”