I turn around, clasping my hands around the mug I’m holding. “I waited up for you last night.”
Her spine stiffens. “We were out late.” She busies herself making coffee.
I walk toward her, pressing my hip into the counter and facing her. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” she says, finally glancing at me, and I bite down hard on the inside of my cheek.
Gently, I turn her face toward me. She’s wearing a ton of makeup, but it’s still not enough to disguise the swelling on her left cheek, and there’s no disguising the cut on her lip.
She pulls her face out of my grip. “Don’t, honey.”
“Why are you with him, Mom?”
“I love him.” She’s quick to reply as she removes bread from the breadbox.
“I’m not buying it.”
She pops the bread in the toaster, still averting her gaze. “I know that, and I hope in time you’ll warm to him.”
I harrumph. “That will never happen. He’s a monster.”
I’d love to tell her what he expects of me. That he’s salivating at the prospect of fucking me with his perverted buddies. But I won’t expose her to those truths because it’s not safe for her to know.
Doesn’t mean I can’t drop a few clues.
I shudder on purpose. “And I hate how he looks at me sometimes and how he’s finding more and more opportunities to touch me.”
Her face pales before she catches herself. “I’m sure you’re imagining it. He’s just trying to get closer to you, stepfather to stepdaughter.”
I can’t tell if she’s trying to convince herself or me. “Yeah, I’m sure that’s it.” Sarcasm drips from my tone. “Not that he’s a sick bastard with grabby hands and perverted ideas.”
She rubs at her temples. “Harlow, you can’t talk about him like that.” She grabs my hands, her eyes pleading with me. “But if he makes you feel uncomfortable, perhaps, it’s best you keep your distance and do nothing to upset him.”
Her changing thoughts are giving me whiplash. “How about you give that pep talk to him, huh?”
Air whooshes out of her mouth, and she lets go of my hands, rubbing her temples again. “Can you please try? For my sake?”
“Why should I, Mom?” I top up my coffee as acid churns in my gut.
“Because you don’t have much longer left in this house, and it’ll be a much more pleasant experience for everyone if you act civil toward him.”
I shake my head. Un-fucking-believable. He’s using her as his punching bag, and she’s trying to smooth things over so I don’t upset him. She’s so weak it makes me sick. “What happened to you? Or are you so blind you can’t see what he’s doing to you?”
Her shoulders straighten, and the softness in her features evaporates. “My relationship is none of your business, Harlow. And all I ask is that you don’t argue with him. Is that really too much for a mother to ask of her daughter?”
“Do you even know where I was this week?” I challenge, losing control of the tenuous hold on my emotions. “Or do you just not care?”
“Of course, I care.” She reaches her hand out to touch me, and I take a step back. Her arm drops to her side as her face showcases resignation. “I know you were training and that you’re an initiate. My fiancé doesn’t keep secrets from me.”
“And you’re okay with that?”
“Learning how to defend yourself is not a bad thing, and it’s an honor to be the first female member of The Sainthood.”
I stare at her, wondering who the woman standing in front of me is. Does she not hear herself? Have I wandered onto the set of some movie or show? How is she okay with this? “You disgust me.” I empty the rest of my coffee down the sink as Caz appears in the doorway.
“Hey, princess. You ready?”
“Yep.” I throw a scathing look at my mother as Caz walks away, and I move to go after him.
“Harlow.”
I stop and look at her over my shoulder.
“I was wrong about those boys. Stay close to them, both inside and outside of the house. They care about you.”
“How about you butt out of my relationship, and I’ll butt out of yours?”
“That sounds like a plan,” she agrees, and I shake my head in disgust, walking out without another word.
_______________
Saint pulls into the parking lot right in front of the school, killing the engine. When I refused to get in his Land Rover, citing safety reasons and my desire to abide by my late father’s wishes, I expected him to argue his point. But he surprised me, grabbing the keys to my Lexus and jumping in the driver’s seat. “Theo and Caz will keep you company today,” he says, grabbing the back of my head and pulling me in for a kiss.
“You’re not coming?” I ask when he releases my mouth.
“Galen and I have stuff to attend to.”
I remember our discussion last night and nod. “Okay. Be careful.” I peck his lips before exiting the car the same time he does. Saint locks the car using the fob and then tosses the keys to me. Caz and Theo are already at the top of the steps, having arrived first, and Galen is waiting on the sidewalk in front of Saint’s Land Rover, dangling the keys from the tips of his fingers.
I walk toward him as Saint steps onto the sidewalk behind me. Galen and I stare at one another, and there is so much unspoken between us.
“Be safe,” he says.
I nod and walk away, joining the guys at the entrance doors and making my way inside.
Morning classes are boring in their normality, but there’s something so refreshing about it.
When the bell chimes after the last class before lunch, I gather up my stuff and head out into the corridor. Caz and Theo are waiting against the lockers for me, and I walk toward them. “Hey, babe.” Caz plants his lips on mine, kissing me in a way that screams possession. Imaginary daggers embed in my back from the various female bystanders.
“We’re going out for lunch,” Theo says. “Let’s go.”
Caz links his fingers in mine as we walk beside Theo, in the direction of the exit. “We’re doing this, huh?” I ask, raising our conjoined hands, a smile teasing my lips.
Caz smirks, pulling our hands to his mouth, kissing my knuckles. “Everyone knows you are ours. This isn’t a shock.”
“You guys haven’t done this before though, right?”
Caz squeezes my shoulder. “You’re the first and the last.” He lets go for a second, only to bring his hands to my hips, steering me out the door while Theo holds it open. Caz brushes his plump lips against my neck, and his warm breath raises goose bumps along my flesh. “Because we’re keeping you.” Caz removes my car keys from my pocket, throwing them at Theo. “You drive. I want to feel our princess up in the back seat.”
I roll my eyes, but I don’t protest as Caz leads me to the Lexus, helping me inside.
Theo hasn’t even started up the engine when Caz pounces on me, pushing me down on the back seat and covering me with his large body. I sink into the seat, melting under the warmth of his toned torso and the feel of his lips grazing mine.
We make out like demons to the heavy metal backdrop Theo has playing in the car. Every so often, my gaze finds Theo’s, and guilt slaps me in the face. We could always read one another like a book, and his hurt and pain slices me open, digging into flesh and bone, and I feel his agony as if it is my own.