I closed my eyes for only a split-second, and once we were out of that horrible room, I moved back to the window with no glass, gazing out at the castle below. “Why?” I asked, unable to look at him.
I wasn’t crying, but… but there was emotion welling inside of me. Conflicting feelings. I was torn. A part of me did want to tell Ishan to take me away from this awful place, but the other part of me accepted my fate, that those statues in there would be me, soon enough.
Ishan moved close, peering down at me and paying no heed to the view from the tower. “I don’t know. Perhaps they were not good wives, or perhaps they simply could not live here.”
“Did Abner…” I couldn’t voice the question, but it didn’t matter, because he knew what I meant.
“I don’t know if he did any of them on purpose,” Ishan told me. “But his magic is in this place, woven into every block that makes up this castle. His power holds that wall of ice there, and he had them moved into that room when they turned stolid. Even if he did not outright turn them himself…”
I knew what Ishan was saying, and it hurt to hear. Marrying Winter was dangerous, and I couldn’t help but wonder about all those other poor girls. They’d walked into this castle, probably against their own will, married Abner because they had no choice, and then turned to ice.
Judging from their faces, they’d all been younger, too. None of them lasted twenty-five years here, and I wasn’t sure what that said about Abner. Even if he did not freeze them, his magic did. He still had a hand in it, whether it was unknowing or not.
That… that didn’t make it any better, being an unknowing participant in something like this.
“Please,” Ishan said, touching my back, filling me with his warmth and his magic, causing me to lean into him in spite of myself. “Please, let me take you from this place. Come with me to my castle, and you will be my bride instead of Abner’s. We will be happy. Happy and warm and our lives full of laughter. Please. I could not bear it if you end up like them.”
Marry Ishan, betray Abner? Even though I did not want to face what was in that room, I didn’t know whether I could do something like that.
It was stupid of me, but I found myself pulling away from Ishan and saying, “Thank you for showing me. I… I need time to think.”
“You have no time. You’re to marry my brother tomorrow.” As if I could possibly forget that tiny detail.
“I know,” I told him, tilting my chin up, meeting those dark, amber eyes. In their depths I saw the truth of Ishan’s feelings, how much he cared for me, how badly he wanted me, and I was truly moved. I was. Of course I was. But even so, I could not simply walk away from this. Not without confronting Winter himself. “But I need time. I need to think. Give me that, Ishan, please.”
Ishan’s shoulders slumped beneath his tan tunic, and he was slow to nod. “Very well. When you’re ready, call for me, and I will come.” He lifted a hand, gently caressing my face, touching my cheek in the way only a lover would. “I will always come for you.” And then, in the blink of an eye, he disappeared from my view, leaving me alone in the tallest tower, with the door of ice behind me and its secrets not so secret any longer.
I felt like I should cry. Like I should weep for those women and the lives they’d lost, but I couldn’t. Instead, my feet took me away from the door, to the winding spiral stairs that seemed to go on forever and ever. Down I went, until I emerged into a dark hall.
I should be sleeping. I should be trying to be well-rested for my wedding, but I could not. I could not shake the sight of those frozen girls, each and every one of them, nor could I ignore the worry that had settled in my heart. Would I be next? Of course I would be. I was not special enough to be the one to break whatever curse was on this place, on Abner.
The castle was huge. I knew I could wander the entire night and never find Abner, never be able to demand answers from him, but I had to try. I could not sit there and let things be, nor could I simply go with Ishan without trying to piece it all together myself. Did those girls do something to make him mad? Did they not want to marry him? What was it about them that had led them to turn to ice?
I was cold, sure, and maybe it was due to Ishan’s favor, but I could still feel the fire burning inside. I would not let this place or its chill into my heart. I wouldn’t do it.
Perhaps it was fate, or perhaps it was something else, some other guiding force leading me right to him, but I found Abner standing on a balcony, overlooking what would be the castle’s gardens, if it was not constantly covered in snow.
He leaned on the balcony’s railings, his head bent and his shoulders slumped. It seemed he did not often sleep, either. Though his back was to me, though I could not see his face, I puffed myself up before going to him.
No matter what happened after this, I had to know the truth.
Chapter Six – Winter
Everything had become too hard, I think. After all this time, I think I was finally growing tired of the never-ending game, the constant searching, never being able to find what I want. What I need.
Were gods supposed to feel this tired?
I stood on one of the castle’s many balconies, the wind blowing bitterly against my skin. My head was bent as I heaved sigh after sigh. These last two days, I’d tried. I really had tried to be more, to do more. I’d eaten every meal with her, tried not to snap at her when she took a tone with me or asked me questions which she had no right to.
But it was hard. It was so, so hard, and I felt so tired of this. It would only end up the same. Morana would join the ranks of the others, and my brother would hate me for it. He would hate me for it, because he wanted her. Somehow, someway, the same girl had become a focal point in both our lives.
I should simply let him have her. I should give her up, call it all off. There was no law that said I must marry every twenty-five years; it was something of my own making, and it could be canceled easily.
When I thought of canceling the whole thing, I pictured her face. The fire in her greyish blue eyes, the way her skin was sun-kissed in the most entrancing of ways. She was beautiful, surely, and she was every bit a child of Summer, not Winter. She’d never been mine; Morana had always belonged to Ishan, and my fool of a brother had taken his time in realizing how badly he wanted her. Only when she was in my grasp, when she was set to become my bride, did he see the truth of his feelings.
Could I take that away from my brother? Could I be so selfish?
Yes, I could, but I knew I shouldn’t.
Fate, it seemed, had more in store for me tonight than a simple self-loathing session, for the next thing I knew, I was not alone on the balcony. Morana appeared beside me, staring at me as if she both hated me and was confused by everything I was. To that, I’d say, you aren’t the first… and you probably won’t be the last.
“There are things you must answer to,” she started, appearing as if she wanted to rip me apart.
I was slow to stand straight, to hold my head up high—for I was the king of this castle. Though she would be my wife, she could not speak to me as if I meant nothing. A scowl crossed my face, even though I wanted to be left alone, to mope in silence. “I must answer to nothing if I do not wish to,” I told her, frowning. Never before had a frown felt so labored.