I nod and manage a smile. “Yes, of course.”
“No hugs pour moi?” Dex asks, taking her attention off of me.
“Phhhfff,” Rebecca says, giving him a quick hug.
“And no compliments either?” he asks with mock hurt as she pulls away. He gestures to himself. “What about my suit?”
“It’s a black suit, Dex. I’ve seen you wear it before.”
“But I’m wearing a tie this time.”
She rolls her eyes. “You look handsome, okay? Like your ego needed to know that.” She puffs on her cigarette and blows it in his face, grinning.
For one blissful moment it feels like old times. The days before Samantha Poe and that awful house. But that moment doesn’t last. It hits me like a pile of bricks when I realize that she’s never going to go away at this rate. I’ll be lucky if she doesn’t show her face here like she did at the gym, terrorizing me in plain sight where no one can see her.
“I need a drink,” I tell Rebecca.
“And I need a cigarette,” Dex says to her.
“You’re all right with this?” she asks me as she hesitantly pulls a jeweled cigarette case out of her clutch and hands him one.
I shrug. “Whatever he wants.”
They both raise their brows in unison, Dex looking extremely intrigued. “Oh really? I wasn’t aware that was the rule now.”
I know what he’s thinking. Keep it in your pants, I tell him.
He gives me a knowing grin, like he even listens to me to begin with.
He takes the cigarette from Rebecca, classing up his image by sticking it behind his ear, while Rebecca puts hers out on the brick wall, flicking it into the garbage can.
We walk inside the crowded bar and Rebecca grabs us both by the hand, leading us to a table in the back where we find familiar faces, Seb and Dean, obviously ostracized from the rest of the party who all know each other.
Seb is still a stoner through and through, but he chopped off his ponytail recently and now has his hair short and messy. He didn’t quite make it into a suit, but at least his dress shirt doesn’t have any stains on it.
He greets us, smelling like weed, eyes rimmed red. Oh, to be Seb in his happy little world all the time. Must be nice.
Then there’s Dean, who is looking more striking than ever.
“Are you working out, baby daddy?” I ask him as he gives me a hug, feeling the muscles in his back.
He shrugs, giving me a shy smile as he adjusts his glasses. “Not really.”
But I can tell that he has been. I wonder if it has something to do with Rebecca. The last time we went shopping together she mentioned they were trying to make it work again, though with the way she has the hots for her co-worker, I’m not sure how long that will last.
Speaking of co-workers, I look around the bar, trying to spot the striking brunette. I think I spot her in the corner, surrounded by men in suits.
I give Rebecca a look. “Want to get a drink?” I ask her.
She nods and then looks at the boys. “You want anything?”
“Jack on the rocks,” Dex says, taking a seat beside Dean. “And a beer.”
She gives him a double take. “Well then, starting off on the right foot I see.”
Seb and Dean then put in orders for beer and we’re both already regretting getting their drinks.
Rebecca leads me over to one of the open bars and we get in line.
“So, how are you?” she says to me, keeping her voice low. “And I mean really.”
I press my lips together, debating on how much to say. I don’t want to be a downer at her holiday party. “I’ve been better.”
“I know,” she says, looking at me closely. “You look tired, Perry. And I mean really tired. You’ve been ignoring my texts for the most part. So has Dex. Are you guys…?”
“Oh,” I say, realizing what she’s getting at. “We’re good. I mean, our marriage is fine, in case you’re worried about that.”
She lifts her dainty shoulder in a half shrug. “I figured maybe my birthday present shook things up too much.”
Ah yes. Her birthday present to me, a pair of leather handcuffs.
“They’re still in the box under the bed,” I say. “They’re for emergency use only. Though I must ask, do you give those to all your friends?”
“Only my best ones.” She smirks, then her expression softens. “So what’s really going on then? Is it baby stuff?”
I shake my head, though I’m not sure for how much longer that card will be on the table.
“It’s the usual,” I tell her. “Ghosts and stuff.”
“You always see ghosts, Perry. What’s different this time? You’ve even lost weight, haven’t you? Are you eating?”
“Does vodka count?” I say, only half-joking. I sigh, looking around. The two tall dudes in front of us are loud and boisterous, not paying us any attention. I lower my voice and lean into her. “Remember that woman and the monster that Lucinda saw at the restaurant?”
Her eyes go wide. “You’re seeing that?”
“Her mainly. Not the monster.” Not yet, anyway, because I know that’s coming.
She shakes her head, letting out a soft whistle. “Bloody hell. I don’t know what to say. Is she haunting you?”
I nod.
“And Dex knows?”
I give her a look. “Yes. He knows now. And he sees her too, but she doesn’t bother much with him. I don’t even know what she wants, but she definitely wants me.” I let out a bitter laugh. “Then again, they always do. Story of my life.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know,” I admit, making fists by my sides, nails digging into my palm. “I really don’t.”
“Are you still seeing your shrink?”
“Day after tomorrow,” I tell her, giving her a quick smile. “Don’t worry, I know I sound crazy.”
She tilts her head sympathetically. “It’s not that. I just think having more people to confide in, the better.” She pauses. “Does Ada know?”
Guilt floods through me. “No. We’re having…she’s having problems. I don’t want to burden her with my own. But we’ll see her at Christmas. I’ll tell her then. Merry Christmas, I’m being haunted.”
The line is moving quicker now, and before we know it, we’re getting everyone’s drinks, struggling to carry them all, and bringing them back to the table.
Then we sit down and drink and talk and I’m able to escape again. Rebecca and Dean tell stories about Lucinda, Seb talks about this girl he’s seeing, and Dex and I mainly stay silent, not wanting to open up a can of worms right here.
Eventually Rebecca introduces us to her co-star Claire, who is as charming and gorgeous in real life as she is on the show, then a few other people who work with her. I watch the two of them together closely, trying to figure out if their chemistry could lead somewhere. It’s hard to tell, but they seem to get along very well and they look amazing together.
Then more drinks are had, including a few rounds of shots, and everyone is getting nicely wasted. Dex goes outside a few times to smoke a cigarette while Seb gets high, and I sit back letting the alcohol sink into my bones, making my problems disintegrate to dust.