I wrinkled my nose at the idea, already knowing how it would go. Why did we need to keep repeating the same process?
“That’s the second time you’ve sighed,” Fenris said. “Want to tell me what you’re thinking?”
“That Adira is annoying, and I don’t want to go to her stupid dinner tonight. But I know if I don’t go, she’ll just find a way to make me more miserable.”
He parked the car in the clearing and grinned at me.
“You’re learning. So what are you going to do to attend the dinner your way?”
“I don’t know yet, but I have a few hours of fire-gazing to figure it out.”
“That’s my girl.” He winked at me and got out, missing my blush and, hopefully, the sound of my racing heart.
Clearing my throat, I got out and looked at the expanse of trees in front of me.
“I really need better boots if I’m going to keep coming here.”
“Come on. I’ll give you another ride.”
Considering I’d kissed his chest already today, I didn’t think another trip in his arms was a good idea. For him. I’d been cold enough on the way to the car that I hadn’t noticed much of anything. But now? I could smell the lust coming off of him, and it was stirring my hunger more than I would have liked to acknowledge.
“I think I’ll walk for a bit.”
“I know you’re hungry, Eliana. You asked me to fight you when your control’s weak. Haven’t I always? I won’t ever let you do something you’ll regret. Don’t say no because you’re afraid.”
“Fine.” I turned toward him and lifted my arms limply.
“Your level of enthusiasm is astounding.”
“I’m not a fan of being carried around.”
He picked me up and started walking.
“I don’t see why. It’s fun being carried by you.”
“You were on my back.”
“And you’ve been on mine. From what I recall, you enjoyed it, too.”
My vision flickered with a surge of hunger, and I glared at him.
“Let’s not talk about that ever again. And maybe we’d get to the cabin faster if you jogged.”
He heaved an aggrieved sigh but picked up the pace. It made him warmer and smell better. While the warmth was nice, I fought not to turn my head and inhale his scent. Did he have any idea how delicious he smelled?
“What are you doing?”
The sound of his voice jerked me back from where I’d had my nose buried in his shirt. Turning my face into the wind, I shook my head without answering.
“You told me that I smell like lust all the time. What exactly does that smell like to you?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Okay, but not talking will make me paranoid. Piepen’s tastes and smells bad, right?”
“You’re not like Piepen,” I muttered.
“So I’m a little better.”
“You’re a lot better, Fenris. Does that help your ego?”
“Ouch. You’re being mean.”
I dropped my head back against his shoulder.
“You’re right. I’m sorry. Your lust smells sweet and rich like chocolate right now. Piepen’s smells pungent and bitter, like a skunk. The dryads smelled like earth and rain.”
“Interesting.”
“Annoying.”
He chuckled and started to slow. Ahead, I saw the cabin through the trees.
“I think I can walk from here.”
He released me and ran ahead to start the fire. Alone, I took a few calming breaths and made my way to Fenris’s sanctuary while wondering what he found so interesting in knowing how he smelled to me. I wryly grinned when I realized I was questioning a wolf’s interest in scents. Of course, he’d find that interesting. Then, I wondered if the real draw was due to the difference in what I smelled on him, Piepen, and the dryads to what he smelled on them. Probably. I guessed that was pretty fascinating.
My newly regained composure shattered the moment I entered the cabin.
Fenris crouched near the fireplace, leaning over to blow gently on the tinder until the flames grew. I wasn’t paying attention to that, though. My gaze fixated on Fenris’s bare back and the warm glow of light that played on each muscled ridge.
“Where’s your shirt?” I croaked.
He straightened, turning toward me as he pointed toward the material hung near the fire.
“It’s still damp.”
The rich, sweet scent of his lust filled my nose, and my hunger stretched inside of me as if waking from a short nap. My gaze drifted to his chest, and I remembered the feel of my lips against his skin. A tingle of need shivered through me.
“I can’t stay here.” Even as I said it, I wanted to step toward him. My stomach growled in agreement.
Fenris sighed and ran his hands through his hair.
“Stay. I need to go for a run and burn off some steam before tonight, anyway. Just put out the fire and lock up before you go.”
He strode toward the door. Toward me. His scent teased my senses.
I should have felt guilty that I was kicking him out of his own sanctuary or offered to leave in his place. However, I couldn’t move. If I did, it wouldn’t be to stop him.
The door shut behind me, and I swallowed hard, my hunger clawing at me. What was I supposed to do? I’d already admitted to myself that I needed to start feeding. What more did my hunger want from me? I was trying to come up with a course of action but couldn’t just erase my fears for the person I fed from. It would take time.
Emotionally exhausted, I moved to the chair, sat with a sigh, and closed my eyes. Fenris’s mouth-watering fragrance lingered, haunting me. My stomach growled in response, and I let myself remember all the little moments today where I’d come too close to giving in.
I needed a nap to take the edge off my hunger. Maybe, tonight, I’d give Adira what she wanted and feed off of whoever she had arranged for me. If I fed, what happened to my meal after I walked away was her responsibility, not mine.
I wished I could believe that.
Chapter Fifteen
I woke with a shiver and groaned when I tried to move and everything felt stiff. Reaching out for my phone in the darkness, I checked the time. Hours had passed since arriving, which explained why the cabin was dark and cold. I was fortunate I’d woken when I had or I’d be a popsicle.
Recalling the time, I amended that thought. Sleeping through Adira’s dinner plans would have been worth a little frostbite. Yet, now that I was awake, I knew I couldn’t skip it. Rubbing my hands together, I burrowed deeper into the blanket I’d worn here and stood. At least, I wouldn’t need to put out the fire.
My breath fogged in front of me as I locked up the cabin and started for the car. With half my mind on what I was going to do about dinner, I didn’t immediately notice how quiet the trees were. The second I did, though, the back of my neck tingled with the feeling that I was being watched.
Pausing, I turned a slow circle to study my surroundings. I saw nothing, but my instincts were telling me there was something out there. It would have been easier to know for sure if I had Fenris’s senses of smell and hearing. Then again, did I really want to know something was watching me? Wasn’t it easier to pretend everything was fine?