She was a virgin. How in the hell was that possible? He had so many questions but the main one was why? He knew that it wasn’t because she didn’t have options.
Over the years, he’d witnessed a ton of men ask her out. He’d watched quietly on the sidelines as they pretty much lined up to shoot their shot with her. He’d been a silent bystander as guys hit on her and threw out pickup lines at her, some were decent most were cringy. And it wasn’t just the men that approached her, either. There was a network of matchmakers all over town trying to set her up. This was just a rough guestimate, but if he had to put a number on it, he’d bet that at least seventy percent of the town had tried to set her up with “this great guy they knew.”
He couldn’t count the number of times he’d heard someone say that she had to meet their brother or cousin or son or grandson. And it didn’t stop at familial setups, he’d listened as people pitched the new guy at fill-in-the-blank job, or the recently divorced single dad that won’t stay on the market too long, or the guy who is “perfect” for her with qualities such as funny, charming, smart, successful, hardworking who she’ll absolutely “love.”
Audrey was basically Hope Falls unofficial town sweetheart, and everyone wanted her to settle down with the ‘right guy.’
Now that he thought about it, though, he’d never actually heard her agree to go out with any of the potential suitors that were being offered up on a silver platter. Normally, she made an excuse about having a prior commitment. He had seen her take a few numbers from particularly aggressive wannabe cupids, but he’d never followed up to see if she’d called any of them. Mainly because he didn’t want to hear about it if she had.
He shifted on the bleacher and tried to turn off his brain. He didn’t think his caffeine withdrawal was the reason for his restlessness and neither was his back pain, which he was used to living with. His discomfort was emotional and mental. He wanted to crawl out of his skin and escape. It was like the walls were closing in on him.
All day he’d done his best to ignore what was building up inside of him like a pressure cooker. But not even blasting music and working on the car his dad had left him, a cherry red ’67 Chevy Nova which he was almost finished restoring, had been able to occupy his mind. If he hadn’t promised Caleb he’d be here tonight for a pickup game, he would be on the back of his bike. Sometimes, when all else failed a ride was the only thing to get his mind right.
After he got injured he’d gone to therapy for his PTSD and depression. One of the tools that his therapists had given him was that when he was feeling anxious, to get a pen and paper and write whatever came into his head.
Over the years he’d amassed several notebooks filled with random thoughts, usually in the form of poetry, not that he would ever claim that he was a poet. He absolutely was not. His ramblings were just articulations of whatever was going on in his head. And 99.9% of the time they were about the one person who occupied his mind and soul.
As he sat on the metal bench and put pen to paper his muse once again guided his way.
Lighthouse
In my darkest days and nights
Beneath the crushing midnight sky
The waves of pain crash
The currents of turmoil surround me
I am drowning
I am lost in an ocean of despair
And then I see you
My lighthouse
My safe place
My serenity
“Hey Pastor Harrison!”
Josh lifted his head and saw his childhood friend Caleb speaking with Lily Maguire, a dancer and choreographer who taught classes at the community center. She was married to Eric Maguire who was the chief of police.
Caleb and Josh were there to play a pickup game with Eric and his brother Jake who was the fire chief. Amy, who lived next door to Nonna and kept an eye on her with her husband Matt, was Eric and Jake’s sister. They also had another sister named Nikki who had married a senator. Josh had grown up with the Maguires, but since he was a few years younger than the youngest sibling, he’d never been that close to any of them.
Truth be told, he’d never really been that close to anyone, except Caleb, growing up. He’d always sort of felt like an outsider looking in when it came to this town.
As his friend chatted, Josh closed his notebook, and stuffed it back into his gym bag.
When Caleb finished talking to Lily, he made his way to the bleachers.
Josh shook his head at his friend. “It’s still weird hearing people call you Pastor Harrison.”
“I know, right? Every time I hear it, I look around for my dad.”
Caleb’s father, who happened to be named George Harrison, had been the pastor at Hope Falls Community Church for nearly forty years before retiring right around the time Josh had come back home. Caleb stepped into the role as senior pastor at the church. Unlike Josh who had never wanted to follow in his father’s footsteps, that had always been Caleb’s dream, or as he put it his calling.
Caleb and Josh had grown up living next door to each other. They’d bonded at an early age over racing big wheels and skipping rocks down by the river. Their friendship continued all through their school years.
On the outside looking in, the two men had nothing in common. Caleb was likeable, sociable, he loved to read, he’d been a straight A student, his dad was the pastor and his mom was the Sunday school teacher and choir director.
Josh kept people at arm’s length, he was a loner, he rode dirt bikes, he’d almost flunked out of high school, his father had been a raging alcoholic, and his mom was crazy and gone most of the time.
Thanks to his less than desirable home life, Josh ended up at Caleb’s several nights a week for dinner. If he wasn’t with Nonna, he was at the Harrisons. Caleb was more like a brother to Josh than a friend.
“I keep telling people to just call me Caleb, but…I don’t know… it’s not sticking.” His friend shrugged as he sat down and changed his shoes.
Josh didn’t think of Caleb in a pastoral way. While the rest of the town had appeared to seamlessly accept his new role and treat him with the same respect, reverence and regard they’d treated Caleb’s father, Josh had never quite made that leap.
When he saw Caleb, he saw the kid that had talked him into smoking behind the bleachers when they were twelve. He saw the brace-faced teenager that he’d broke into their rival Lakeside High’s football field and spray painted “losers” on the field when they were sixteen. He saw the guy that he’d spent a wild weekend with in Daytona Beach to celebrate their twenty-first birthdays.
He’d never gone to Caleb for any real advice before, but the rest of the town lined up for his wisdom. They also lined up to try and set him up. Caleb might even get setup more than Audrey, but unlike her, he actually went on some of the dates. Usually just one, though. He hadn’t had anything serious for a while now.
Caleb had always been a somewhat nerdy guy growing up. Girls liked him well enough, but he never garnered the attention he did these days. Once he stepped into the role of town spiritual leader, he skyrocketed to what was damn near rock star status. Most of the single women had made it clear they were interested and nearly all of the grandmothers, mothers, aunts, and sisters had tried to set him up with every available woman between the ages of twenty and forty.