Sharp. Judgmental. Self-righteous.
An angry flush scalded my face.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” The front door clicked open while a hard, defensive note crept into my voice.
“It means you act all tough and unbothered when it’s just that. An act.” Josh took a step toward me. A tiny one, just enough for the tips of his shoes to kiss mine. The point of contact acted as a channel for his anger, which funneled into me and stoked the embers of indignation burning in my stomach.
“I wouldn’t care, except your recklessness doesn’t affect just you. It also affects the people around you. But you never thought about that, did you?” Dull red burned on his cheekbones. “You only think about yourself. I don’t know what the fuck happened in your past, but it doesn’t take a genius to figure you out. You’re a scared little girl who chases highs to run from your demons, never caring about the destruction you leave in your wake. Classic fucking Jules Ambrose.”
Deep, bone-rattling hurt stole the breath from my lungs and stung my eyes.
Any camaraderie Josh and I developed over the past few weeks evaporated, incinerated into ash by the firestorm of emotions whipping around us.
It wasn’t just about tonight, and it wasn’t just about us. It was about the past seven years—every insult, every sneer, every argument and frustration in our lives, even if it had nothing to do with the other. It all boiled over until a crimson haze passed before my eyes and the only thing I could focus on was how angry I was.
Instead of trying to calm down, I reveled in it.
Anger was good. Anger prevented me from dwelling on the truth behind his statement, and anger coated my words with venom when I spoke again.
“You’re one to talk.” I tilted my chin up, my eyes searing into his endless midnight ones. “Josh Chen, the golden boy. The adrenaline junkie. You want to talk about chasing highs? How about you putting your life on the line every time you pursue some stupidly reckless new activity even though you’re Ava’s only family left? How about the fucking moral high horse you ride around on because you’re a doctor and everything you do is for the supposed greater good?”
My nails dug tiny crescents in my palms. “You’re the one who can’t let go of shit that happened years ago. He lied to me, he betrayed me.” I mimicked his voice. “Tough shit. That’s the way the world works. You survive and get over it, or you get stuck in your own martyrdom. You say I hide behind my act? I say you hold onto your grudge because that’s all you have left to hold onto. It’s the only thing keeping you alive, and you don’t give a damn if it hurts the people you supposedly love.”
It was a low blow to match a low blow until we were both in hell, caught in the culmination of years of animosity and words we would’ve never uttered to anyone except each other. Lies stripped away, truths uncovered only to be disguised as insults.
Part of me was disgusted. Another part sang with exhilaration.
In a world that expected politeness and praised restraint, there was nothing more freeing than finally letting it all out. No holds barred.
Fury carved savage lines into Josh’s face. “Fuck. You.”
“You. Wish.”
The white plumes of our breaths mingled in the cold. The air around us fell unnaturally still, like it was waiting with bated breath for our next move.
“I don’t need to wish, Red.” His voice turned dark. Smoky. It slithered past my defenses and kindled a heat in my lower belly that had both nothing and everything to do with my anger. “I could fuck your brains out right now. Make you take back every word you said and have you begging for more by the end of it.”
It was a warning, not seduction. And it made the fire burn even hotter in my veins.
“You know what they say about men who talk a big game.” Anticipation climbed up my spine at the danger swirling in the air. We were one step away from crossing a line we couldn’t come back from, and I was riding high enough I didn’t care. “They’re overcompensating for the smallest packages.”
A smile slashed across Josh’s face, vicious enough it introduced a seed of trepidation.
“Oh, Red. You’re about to find out just how untrue that is,” he said softly.
He moved so fast I didn’t get the chance to draw another breath before he yanked me against him and crushed his mouth against mine.
And my world as I knew it shattered into a million pieces.
18
JULES
Shock glued my feet to the floor. I’d suspected this would happen, that I would push Josh past his breaking point. I’d goaded him into it, after all.
But now that it was happening, I couldn’t formulate a response. No words, no movement, just utter disbelief and dark, disturbing heat that raced through my veins like wildfire.
The warmth from earlier had erupted into a full-blown volcano, dripping lava until every nerve ending blazed with sensation. My heart thundered with the force of a thousand galloping horses, and the pounding spread until it throbbed in every part of me—my head, my throat, the suddenly, agonizingly sensitive spot between my legs.
Josh curled his hand around the back of my neck, holding me captive while he plundered my mouth.
He kissed the way we fought. Hard. Rough. Explosive.
I hated how much I loved it.
I regained control of my limbs and raised my hands to push him away, but to my surprise, I fisted his shirt instead. I gathered handfuls of the white cotton and yanking him closer until we were pressed so tight against each other I wasn’t sure where I ended and he began.
A small moan escaped when Josh shifted his hips just enough so his hardness rubbed against my core.
“Can’t get enough of me, can you?” His mocking whisper ghosted over my lips, its softness a sharp contrast to the force with which he tugged on my hair.
Tears sprang to my eyes at the flash of pain. The throbbing in my lower belly intensified. “Fuck you,” I hissed.
“I already know that’s what you want, Red.” He closed his teeth around my bottom lip and tugged hard enough to send another twin frisson of pain and pleasure spiraling through my body. “No need to beg for it.”
A low growl rose in my throat. I finally shoved him off me, my heart racing and my lips and pussy throbbing in equal measure. “I will never beg you for anything.”
Josh wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, the movement so slow and deliberate it became more sexual than it should’ve been. A flush of arousal colored his high cheekbones, and the intensity of his gaze as he dragged it over my face to where my coat gaped open seared into my flesh.
“Don’t be too sure about that.” The embers in his eyes burned brighter. “Let’s make another bet, Red. I bet if I bent you over and yanked up that little skirt of yours, I’d find you soaking for me. And I bet I could have you begging for my cock, for me to make you come so hard you’ll see fucking stars before the night is over.”
My teeth clenched in aggravation. I hated his ego, his arrogant smirk, his everything. And yet, I was so wet I could feel myself dripping at the images his filthy words conjured.
“Nice try, Joshy, But I’m not taking the bait.”
It was the coward’s way out, but I was one touch away from detonating, and I refused to give Josh the satisfaction of being the one to press the button.