“No.” My refusal sounded weak to my own ears. I was too desperate for relief. It was only a matter of time before I caved, but I sure as hell could put up a fight before I did.
“No?” Josh eased his thrusts, and another scream of frustration welled in my throat.
Fucking sadistic asshole.
“I hate you,” I moaned. I rolled my hips, seeking the friction I needed to no avail.
“I’m counting on it.” His eyes glittered down at me. “Use your words, Red, or we’ll be here all night.”
Don’t say it.
He slid into me with torturous slowness again.
I couldn’t hold back my pathetic whimpers as he played with me, edging me over and over until I was about to lose my damn mind.
Don’t say it, don’t say it, dontsayit—
“Please.” I choked out the word.
“Please what?”
“Please let me come.” The words faded into a moan as Josh increased his speed.
“You can do better than that.” Sweat gleamed on his skin, and taut muscles corded his neck. Holding back tortured him as much as it did me, but I couldn’t take much satisfaction from that when I was on the knife’s edge of insanity.
An electric spike of sensation speared through me when he hit that spot.
“Josh, please,” I sobbed, not caring anymore. “I can’t—I need—please…”
Me saying his name must’ve snapped something inside him, because he finally stopped teasing and started fucking me with full force again.
“You feel so fucking good,” he growled. “You love my cock wrecking that tight little pussy, don’t you?”
“Yes.” I gasped. “Yes, God, please. I’m going to…I’m…Oh God, oh fuck!”
I screamed as white-hot pleasure blazed through me. Every thought and memory incinerated, leaving only mind-numbing pleasure in their wake.
Josh kept fucking me, and another orgasm chased the first one, followed by another. They rolled on and on, wringing me out until I was little more than a boneless heap on the floor.
After my third or fourth orgasm, Josh finally came, and we lay there, our breaths heavy in the sudden quiet, before he pushed himself off me and tossed his condom in the nearby trashcan. I hadn’t even noticed him put one on.
The lust-fueled fog cleared from my brain. I always made sure the guy used protection, even though I was on birth control. Thank God Josh had, but the fact I hadn’t even thought to ask…
Fuck.
I watched him dress in silence, the import of what we did hitting me.
I’d had sex with Josh Chen. My best friend’s brother and one of the people I despised most.
And not just any sex. Angry, toe-curling, brain-melting sex. Sex where I’d begged for more and came so hard I still felt the aftereffects.
Oh my God. My stomach lurched. What have I done?
19
JOSH
There were at least a dozen different kinds of sex.
There was sweet, sensual lovemaking. Rough, hard fucking. There were casual quickies and emotional interludes and every shade of intimacy in between. After twenty-nine years on earth, I thought I’d experienced every type of sex possible.
Until Jules.
I didn’t even know what to call what we did. Sex seemed too bland and generic a description. It’d been something rawer, more primal. Something that dug deep into the nest of thorns hidden in the pits of my consciousness and yanked them out for the world to see. Every shadow and jagged piece of me, laid bare.
Jules had unlocked a darker version of me than I thought myself capable of, and now that it was out, I wasn’t sure I could ever put it back in.
It should’ve been terrifying, but it was liberating. The greatest high I’d ever experienced.
Greater than BASE jumping. Greater than mountain biking Bolivia’s infamous Death Road. And a million times greater than any night I’d spent with any woman in the past.
Jules and I hadn’t spoken a word to each other before I left the other night, but days later, my need for another hit consumed me.
“Earth to Josh.” Ava snapped her fingers in front of my face. “You there? Or are you already in New Zealand?” she teased.
I forced myself back into the present. It was one of the rare days we both had off, so we’d scheduled a catchup over lunch.
“Yeah.” I sipped my water, wishing it were something stronger. Was it too early to start drinking? It was five o’clock somewhere, right? “I wish I was in New Zealand. I can’t fucking wait.”
T-minus seven weeks until my trip. I was pumped, but I couldn’t summon the desire to talk about it. I was too distracted by thoughts of Jules.
Maybe I’d been right when I called her a succubus. That was the only explanation I could think of for the way she’d infiltrated my every waking and sleeping second.
“It’ll be fun.” Ava ripped off a piece of her bread and popped it in her mouth. “Just make sure to bring me back a Lord of the Rings souvenir or I’ll never forgive you.”
“You don’t even like Lord of the Rings. You fell asleep halfway through the first movie.”
“Yes, but you can’t go to New Zealand without bringing back a LOTR souvenir. It’s inhumane.”
“Inhumane. I don’t think that word means what you think it means,” I said, citing one of our favorite movies.
The Princess Bride was one of my favorite movies. I wasn’t ashamed to admit it. It was a fucking classic.
Ava made a face. “Whatever. Speaking of, where were you Wednesday night? You didn’t answer any of your texts.”
Shit. I’d answered her texts the next morning, but I’d hoped she wouldn’t ask why I’d been MIA since we’d had tentative plans to watch the latest Marvel movie together.
“Sorry. Something came up that I needed to take care of right away.”
What would Ava say if she knew I’d slept with her best friend? Nothing good, I bet. She was fiercely protective of her friends, and she knew Jules and I mixed as well as oil and water.
Except for in bed, apparently.
“And the award for Vaguest Answer goes to...” Ava’s phone alarm went off, and she winced. “Shoot. I have to go. I’m meeting Alex for a show at the Renwick Gallery, but it was great catching up.” She stood and gave me a quick hug. “Get some rest, okay? You look exhausted.”
“What? No, I don’t.” I checked my reflection in the plate-glass window and relaxed. No pale skin, no purple smudges or bags beneath my eyes. I looked perfect.
“Made you look.” Ava grinned at my scowl. “You are so vain.”
“That’s a Carly Simon song, not an accurate descriptor of me.” Just because I cared about my appearance didn’t make me vain. The world traded in appearances, so it made sense for me to look as good as I could. “I thought you had to go,” I added pointedly.
I loved Ava, but like all little sisters, she could be a major pain in my ass.
No wonder she and Jules were friends.
“Fine, I can take a hint. But I’m serious,” she threw over her shoulder on her way out. “Get some rest. You can’t run on coffee forever.”