“Yes,” he said. “I am. But I actually meant... The work that you do on the ranch, you helping me go up north and get those horses. Everything we are. Everything we’ve been. That I can talk to you about anything, and I told you more shit about my childhood than I’ve ever told anybody else, and you don’t look at me like I’m a project, or like I’m broken. That we can laugh. That we can make love, yes. I’m just thankful for you, actually. And I was trying to be romantic or something.”
She snuggled deeper into the blanket. “Sorry. I didn’t realize.”
“Yeah, well. I’m not ever romantic. Not really.”
“But you feel like you want to be romantic now?”
“Yeah. Doesn’t feel like enough.”
His chest felt like it was full to bursting.
He just...he just wanted everything. Because he loved her. Bottom line. He loved her. And he wanted to spend his life with her. He had never felt this way about another person, and he had never seen it coming with her. But somehow, it all made sense. Right then, it all made sense. His whole life.
They had both lost their mothers. They’d both lived through more than anyone should have to. They dealt with the fear of abandonment. They dealt with a hell of a lot of pain when it came to family. They loved this land. They were both hardheaded as hell. What was everything for if not for this?
She was a firecracker. She gave as good as she got. She made him laugh, even when they talked about stuff that sucked. She was his other half in a way that transcended age, or the fact that they had known each other since she was a kid. It actually all just fit.
“You know you’re really damned cute,” he said. And then he served her up a plate of bacon and eggs.
“You too,” she mumbled, pulling the plate toward her, and starting to eat. He just watched.
She looked up. “Oh my gosh, you look like you’re waiting to pounce on me.”
“That’s because I am.”
She smiled somewhat shyly at first, and then pushed her plate toward the center of the table. “Well, then, what are you waiting for.”
He grinned and crossed the space, picking her up out of the chair, bedspread and all, and carting her back to the bedroom. “It’s been too long,” he said, grinning when she was underneath him, the blanket stripped from her, her naked body pressed against his. “It’s been, like, three hours.”
“It’s too long. It’ll never be enough.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
IT HAD BEEN really difficult to leave Hunter’s. She hadn’t anticipated that. Just how it would all feel if they brought it into real life. How easy it was to imagine herself waking up there every day. It...it scared her a little bit.
What did you think it was going to be?
She hadn’t thought. That was the thing. She hadn’t thought even a little bit at all. She had convinced herself that she had. But she hadn’t. Because she hadn’t really been able to imagine intimacy on this scale. And what she really wanted to do was talk to her friend. But things were weird with Alaina. Whatever she said.
Still, she found herself heading over to Sullivan’s point anyway, and when Fia opened the door, she smiled brightly. “Alaina’s not here,” she said.
“Really?”
“Yeah. She’s down at the lake.”
“Oh.”
“You should head down there. She took a bunch of food and drinks.”
Elsie frowned. She had no idea who Alaina could be with. Since it was usually them who was down at the lake.
“All right. I will.”
“See you later, Elsie,” Fia said.
Elsie waved, then got into her truck and drove down to the lake. Alaina’s truck was there, and so was another one.
Travis.
Alaina hadn’t been kidding.
And Elsie didn’t feel jealous about it. It was difficult for her to even recall how she’d found Travis all that attractive. That wasn’t the issue. No, the issue was she didn’t know what her friend was doing.
And she really hoped that she was going to be careful.
You were going to do the same thing. You’re a hypocrite.
“Hey,” she said, waving.
“Hey,” Alaina responded, her eyes sparkling. She was sitting in a lounger at the beach, and it wasn’t actually just Travis out there horsing around on the dock at the center of the lake, but a couple of the other ranch hands as well.
“How’s it going?”
“Great,” Alaina said, smiling. “I’m expecting to make a conquest.”
“You seem excited about it.”
“I am.”
“Just, you know...be careful.”
“Yeah. Well, since you’re not a virgin, maybe you can give me some pointers.”
She tried to rack her brain to think if she could offer anything to her friend. But everything between her and Hunter felt specific and singular, and it didn’t feel like it would be valuable as a generic sex pointer.
“Don’t let the wet spot freak you out?”
Alaina frowned. “What?”
“It... Nevermind. I—I... Nothing.”
“So, now that you’re not lying to me—”
“Yeah, that’s what I came looking for you for. I’m just really sorry. I was a bad friend. I was a really bad friend. I should’ve trusted you. And I didn’t. But it was honestly because of me. It’s because I completely freaked out. I couldn’t handle it.” Can you handle it now?
“That’s okay. It’s you and Hunter. Honestly, I never saw it coming. I didn’t even think you liked him.”
“I didn’t. I mean, I did. I told you that I did. I—I’ve always cared about him a lot.”
“Are you in love with him?” Elsie asked.
“I’m... No. It’s not... I don’t want... Nothing has changed. I don’t want that kind of relationship. And, anyway, you might be okay with it, but there’s Wolf and Sawyer to worry about.”
“They probably wouldn’t care as long as he married you.”
“I’m not marrying him,” Elsie said, feeling jumpy.
“Why not? You love horses, you love the ranch...”
“But why? You show me a good marriage on this ranch. My brothers aside. And Tag. They don’t count.”
“Why don’t they count? Because it’s inconvenient for you?” Alaina was seeming far too wise right now, and Elsie didn’t like it. Considering she’d spent all that time being a fool and protecting her from nothing, and now she was being nice and forgiving and actually trying to make her feel better.