“Sorry? You’re sorry?”
Alaina turned on her heel and stomped away. “I have to follow her,” Elsie said.
“You want me to help you handle it?”
“No. You don’t owe her anything,” Elsie said, the conviction of that burning in her chest. “She likes you, and that’s...that’s her problem. It’s not my fault. But how I’ve handled all of this is,” she said. “And that isn’t your fault. And she is my friend. So I need to deal with it. I’m sorry. I have to...have to go with her.”
She ran after Alaina’s retreating figure. Her friend went all the way behind the big barn. Elsie could hear her sounds of distress, and her heart twisted. “Alaina, “I’m sorry,” Elsie said. “I should’ve told you. But I didn’t know how. Because I didn’t know how to tell anybody.”
“How long has that been going on? You just let me talk about him. You let me make an idiot of myself talking about the man that you’re... You’re sleeping with him, aren’t you? You lost your virginity and you didn’t tell me. And it was to him. And you didn’t tell me. You made me sound so stupid, Elsie. Have you been making fun of me behind my back?”
“No,” she said. “I would never make fun of you, Alaina. It isn’t funny. If I thought it was funny I would’ve... I wouldn’t have tried so hard to protect you.”
“Did you tell him?”
The accusation cut Elsie. Straight to her heart.
“He knew already...”
“You told him?”
“Gus told him! I didn’t.”
Alaina looked mortified. “Gus knows?”
“I swear we haven’t talked about it enough to actually get into who knows what. I—I love you, but this wasn’t about you.”
And she could see it. The moment Alaina Sullivan decided she’d land on her feet. It was who she was, and Elsie had always admired her for it, but right now she had to wonder...
How much of it was Alaina masking her pain?
Not wanting to feel it.
“Hey, it’s... Look, Elsie, it’s a little embarrassing but I just had a crush on him. We wanted to...get some experience and this is what worked out for you. I’ll be fine.”
“Alaina...” She wanted to fix it. Alaina’s face was oddly serene and casual all at once and it was the defense of it all that hurt Elsie.
She’d started it. She hadn’t shared. And now Alaina was putting up walls of her own.
“No, I’m good. I just... Hey, I guess it’s my turn, right?”
“It wasn’t about that with him.” Elsie swallowed hard. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to hurt you. And also because I was embarrassed. Because this wasn’t about getting experience. It’s complicated and—”
“You know, you’re right, Hunter is too complicated,” Alaina said. And then Alaina put her hand on Elsie, almost sympathetically. “Better you than me working all that out. But I hope it doesn’t come back to bite you.”
Elsie almost laughed. Alaina had switched the whole thing and was now acting concerned. Acting like she hadn’t had a temper explosion a moment ago.
“I mean, I don’t actually know if it will or not,” Elsie said.
“Then you must really like him. Honestly, Elsie, don’t lose any sleep over it, okay? I just wanted to do it with him. You’ll have to tell me what it’s like.”
“Alaina, just...don’t do anything...”
“That you wouldn’t do?”
And she sat with that for a minute because really, what could she even say to Alaina? She and Hunter were caught up in something that had nothing to do with making smart choices.
They were chasing a flame and they were...reckless and heedless and it was the greatest thing she’d ever experienced in her life.
Like that day they’d ridden their horses so fast and far, until they were out of breath. It was a kind of freedom she’d never experienced before and she didn’t know where it all went. So how could she lecture Alaina on anything? How could she tell her what to do?
“I’m going to go put out feelers.”
“Or you know, you don’t have to do anything right now.”
“You’re good with the Travis thing, right?” Alaina asked.
“I’m... Well, yeah, I mean, I don’t... I’m not... Hunter is the only guy I’m interested in,” she said, and that cost her a little.
Because it was an admission of all those deeper things that scared her.
“Good to know.” Alaina winked. She winked. And then she went practically skipping back to the fire.
Elsie just stood there, unable to really parse what had just happened. It was classically Alaina, in many ways, but it was...it was surreal to see it in action like this.
Hunter reappeared then, moving toward her. “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” she said. “I—I guess. She’s going to be fine. I—I feel like I’m not sure if I’m a bad friend or... She wasn’t mad. I mean, she was, but mostly about being tricked.”
And she felt like if nothing else a barrier had been removed. She was standing there, looking at Hunter and there was just... There was no reason not to stretch up on her toes and kiss him. So she did. She kissed him, and everything in her went warm. She kissed him and she felt free for a moment. And she pushed out of her mind all the things Alaina had said about being careful. About her getting hurt. There wasn’t any reason to dwell on that.
“Take me to your place,” she said.
“Gladly.”
They skirted around the edges of the bonfire with his hand in hers.
She felt warm and excited. She felt...happy.
This was Hunter. Her Hunter. And all of a sudden things were right with her friendships. Because Alaina was okay. And all right, she might be a little bit mad, but she was Alaina. She would find a way to make it all work. And she had admitted to exactly what Elsie had believed. That she had been attracted to Hunter, but she didn’t have deep feelings for him.
And then there was Hunter. He was her friend. And there was all this stuff happening between them, but the bottom line was they liked each other. Sure, there was an edge to their teasing. There always would be. It was just how they were.
But now there was something more with it. Something deeper. And that was only a good thing. Right?
They got into the truck, and she took her shoes off, put her feet up on the dash and let her head fall back as he rolled the windows down and let the night air flood the cabin. They didn’t talk. He put the radio on, put on some music, and she started to sing. He put his hand on her thigh. And he sang along with her. It was such a casually intimate gesture. And it made her heart squeeze.