“Just don’t bring it up,” Elsie said. “I doubt he’s going to randomly ask if I’m still a virgin.”
“No,” Evelyn said, laughing over the pot of berries. “He definitely isn’t going to do that. In fact, I think he would rather die.”
“Don’t kill him. I like him.”
Evelyn laughed. “So do I. You have my utter and total promise that I will not kill him.”
“Well, I appreciate that,” Elsie said flatly.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Alaina asked.
“Because you have no chill,” Elsie said, which was at least a truth in the middle of this lie. “Look at you, blowing everything in front of everybody.”
Alaina had no idea how big of a deal it was. She wanted to yell at her for being a silly virgin, and then she realized...they weren’t even talking about the same thing. Because she was lying to her friend. She didn’t know what a big deal this situation was because Elsie hadn’t told her what was happening.
But how could she? How could she tell anybody what was happening? She didn’t know what was happening herself.
And that thought made everything feel muted after that.
Everybody brushed the moment off and carried on, and a couple of hours later they were loading baked goods into a big truck to drive over to the meeting site. But on their way out the door, Evelyn stopped her, leveling her gaze at her in a fashion that was far too knowing.
And she wished that Violet and Alaina would come back, which was frankly the first time this whole day she had wished for an audience.
“It’s not a random ranch hand, is it?”
Tears filled her eyes, and she hated that. How quickly and immediately emotion seemed to be right at the surface for her now. It had never happened to her before. Not like this.
“I...”
“You don’t have to tell me what’s happening. In fact, it’s probably for the best if I only suspect. All things considered. I told you that I don’t keep secrets from Sawyer, but I would never intentionally hurt you or throw a bomb into the middle of your life. You need to be careful.”
And a few weeks ago, Elsie wouldn’t have had any idea what that meant. Why would you need to be careful, for any reason other than not getting pregnant? But she understood now. She also understood that whatever careful was, she was a long way past it.
“I am,” she said, nodding, amazed that she had managed to force the words around the giant lump in her throat.
Evelyn smiled, her expression entirely sympathetic. Far too sympathetic for Elsie’s well-being. It made her feel small and fragile. And she didn’t want any of that.
“It’s impossible, isn’t it? When you have feelings for someone.”
She didn’t want to hear this. She didn’t want to have this conversation. She didn’t want it at all. She didn’t want Evelyn to look at her and see her soft, vulnerable middle. She didn’t want this to be something anyone knew about. She didn’t want...
She didn’t want her own feelings to be so out of control.
“I don’t have feelings for him,” she said, holding on to her elbows, and squeezing her arms tightly around her body.
But her mind was forced back to the meadow. To his admissions about his childhood. And her whole body hurt.
“You don’t choose them,” Evelyn said.
“You did,” she answered. “You came here to marry Sawyer. It was a good thing when you started to have feelings for him.”
“Yeah, I guess so. But he didn’t intend to have any for me. He just did. We couldn’t help it. We have chemistry, and I thought that would be it. I thought it would be the biggest part of our relationship, and the rest would be loving Bug. It would be loving this place. The whole family. And that he would just be part of it. But that isn’t how it stayed. I started to love Sawyer very much very quickly. Whether I wanted to or not. Whether I thought it put me at risk or not, it didn’t matter. I couldn’t stop my heart from doing what it was going to do.”
“Well, you don’t have to worry about me,” Elsie said.
“I hope not. I love you.”
The words stuck in Elsie’s throat, and all she could do was try to smile back. She hadn’t had a whole lot of women in her life. Her grandmother had been the biggest influence, and she’d died when Elsie was so little she could hardly remember her.
Evelyn’s gaze went soft and overly sympathetic. And Elsie wanted to tell her to stop that. But she knew that it wouldn’t be very sisterly. Especially not in the context of how sweet Evelyn was being.
“Let’s go,” Evelyn said.
And they got into the truck then and headed to the meeting. When they got out, Elsie instinctively looked for Hunter. Her gaze found him immediately.
The families all settled in for the meeting, and the Garretts sat next to the McClouds. Which gave Elsie an excuse to sit next to Hunter. Easily. But she didn’t touch him, no matter how much she wanted to. And she was keenly aware of Evelyn’s furtive gaze following the two of them for part of the time. She wondered how she had become obvious enough for Evelyn to figure out that it wasn’t Travis.
But the whole right side of her body burned where Hunter wasn’t even making contact, and really, she could see how it was obvious.
Except, it wouldn’t have been obvious to her. Not before. She never would’ve looked for this kind of subtle change between two people. Because she wouldn’t have understood.
Now she felt an unbearable sense of ownership over him, and it was nearly impossible to not put her hands on him when it felt natural to do it.
She wanted to move. She regretted sitting beside him. But there was nothing she could do about it.
Gus spoke, giving an update on the ranch along with a timeline for the opening. And Lachlan McCloud’s friend Charity, who was veterinarian for most of the horses in the community, explained her role in the proceedings.
Charity had gone to school on the ranch, the only child of an elderly single father—the town of Pyrite Falls’ previous veterinarian. She looked between Charity and Lachlan and wondered. But she couldn’t see anything between them other than friendship. At least, the intimacy that she felt with Hunter didn’t exist there.
The intimacy that she could see between Evelyn and Sawyer, Violet and Wolf. Well, she was acting like sex was giving her X-ray vision, which she supposed wasn’t terribly reasonable.
But still, she looked at Landry King, and then across the room at Fia, as if it might give her some insight into the two of them. Because she and Alaina had wondered often what the situation was there.