“I enjoyed college but I need to get out there and make money. I don’t like living off my brother, even though he doesn’t mind. I want to be able to take care of myself,” he declares.
“That’s impressive,” I reply and take a sip of my coffee.
“Thanks, you’re pretty impressive yourself,” he replies back, throwing me off. I don’t take compliments well. Never have.
“I’m really not.” I shake my head and pull my gaze from him.
“You are.” He dips his head, searching for me to look at him. “You’ve settled in fast to your classes, made new friends, and you’re doing a kick-ass job for the team’s PR. The last person who took care of PR sucked. My accounts were totally inactive.”
“Thanks, I actually . . .” I bite my lip, unsure if I should mention it to Logan. He was open with me in Hawaii about his mom and how he grew up.
“What is it?” he asks carefully. “We’re friends now, Lili. Whatever you need to say, say it.”
I like how straightforward he is. He says exactly what is on his mind.
“I started to see a therapist here. It’s been eye-opening. She’s the one behind my big changes, and I’m just admitting that to you since my sister basically aired my dirty laundry on the plane ride to Hawaii.”
He smiles. “I’m glad she did. And good for you. Talking to someone is really good. I did when I first came to Westfall,” he says, surprising me. I don’t know why, but these hockey jocks don’t seem like the personality type to open up to someone. I realize I’m generalizing, which isn’t fair, and Logan is definitely not typical.
“You did?” I ask, interested in hearing more.
He nods. “My home life was messed up. Declan left when I started high school. I had hockey, but at home things were complicated. I saw some messed up situations with my mother.”
I reach out to take his hand and a zap of electricity runs through my body. “I’m sorry.” I wonder if he feels it too.
“It is what it is. I came here and getting away from all that negativity was good, but then there was a lot of interest in me from everyone because I’m a player on the team. It was kind of like that in high school too, but not on the same level. Plus, I was living with Easton, Rowan, and Leo in the hockey house and you’ve met them,” he chuckles.
“They’re definitely typical jocks,” I laugh.
“That’s the politically correct way of putting it.” He laughs too.
“Anyway, the therapy helped me settle in,” he concludes, and he watches me like he’s contemplating or maybe holding back. I don’t push because this conversation has gotten way more personal than I intended, which shouldn’t surprise me because Logan has been easy to talk to from the start.
“That’s kind of how I feel too,” I agree and then I yawn. “Sorry. It’s been a long day.”
“Don’t apologize,” he says thoughtfully. Damn his gray eyes. They seem so deep and soulful. “This coffee was supposed to wake me up, but I think it had the reverse effect. I should probably go back to the dorm and get some work done.”
“I can walk you,” he offers.
“You don’t have to if it isn’t on your way,” I reply and stand to gather my things.
“It’s no big deal. Besides, it’s dark out. You shouldn’t be walking on campus alone,” he says.
“Thanks.”
We leave the Coffee Bean and head to my dorm. I’m not sure if I should hug him. So I settle on a small wave and “See you tomorrow morning in the media room.”
“See you. I’ll be up for practice at 6:00 a.m.,” he says.
He waves and walks off. I feel discomfort in my stomach and my chest. Like there is turmoil inside me. I like Logan. I can’t stop thinking about him. I can’t act on my feelings now because I’m employed by the team, and there is no way I want to let my papa down. If only our lives had been just a little different, a part of me would have wanted to invite him up to my dorm room and kiss him senseless. I give my head a shake. No good would come of that. I need to keep my head in the books.
TWENTY-FIVE
Logan
I’m showered and ready to leave the locker room after a harsh practice this morning when Noah stops me. “The team is going to a club tonight. It’s our only free weekend this whole semester.”
“Hard pass,” I huff.
“Come on, Russo, don’t be like that. It’s okay to live a little. I get you’re working hard, we all are, which is why we deserve a break. It’s called balance,” he explains.
Smart-ass.
“Is Cait going?” I ask because I know Cait. Bars and clubs aren’t her favorite thing.
He nods. “She’s been enjoying a night out here and there. Like I said, it’s okay to live a little. Luna, Olivia, and Lili are coming too.”
Bingo.
He just said the magic word. Even though Lili and I agreed friendship is our best course right now. I can’t stop thinking about her. I’ll take any chance I get to be near her. I’m also starting to get the vibe I’m not the only one on the team who feels this way. Like at the start of the week, I ended up having to interview Levi for our PR skit and he was totally flirting with her. I don’t think she was flirting back but she laughed at his stupid jokes and when he told her she had a beautiful smile, she blushed. A part of me wishes I could be as forward as Levi.
“Okay.” I nod. “I’ll come.”
“Cool. I’ll catch you later,” Noah nods and heads out of the locker room. I walk out after him and I hear her voice. The vibration of sweet laughter floats through the air. Then I spot Lili, her head tilted back, laughter spilling from her in spades as Levi goes on about some stupid story. I wave as I pass and she waves back.
“What’s up?” she asks.
“Just heading out to a class soon,” I say.
She nods. “Nice, I was just telling Levi our next round of skits was going to be a prank war. He was giving me some ideas,” she giggles.
“I’m up for it. The interview we did has 25K likes already,” I say, wishing I could be suaver. What it boils down to is, I’m boring. “I better go.” I point awkwardly to the exit door.
“See you,” Lili says but as I’m leaving, I bump into Coach.
“Can I get thirty seconds of your time, Logan?” he asks. Coach Ramirez has been more like our head coach this year. Coach Darren cut back on his schedule to be home with his family since Finn is so small and Blossom is still in school.
I follow him into his office, and he closes the door. “I wanted to ask you how things are going with Lili,” he says, throwing me off. He also sends alarm bells ringing in my head. I know Lili did not tell him anything about me and Hawaii.
“What do you mean?” I ask carefully, trying to keep my voice even.
“I know she’s doing a great job. Your accounts are actually blowing up, which is going to help you big time when contract offers start coming in. I mean, with the guys on the team. I see she’s getting along well with everyone, but I worry. I mean, none of the guys. . .” he’s mumbling and rubs his chin. “She isn’t dating or going out with anyone, is she?”