Padding toward my bed, a knock tapped on my door, hitching my heart back up into my throat. Instantly it dropped back, remembering Lennox said he would get my shoes. Nervousness at having to face him after the way I practically begged him to stay warmed my cheeks and bubbled my stomach. My response stemmed from fear, pure and simple. I just didn’t want to be alone. I hoped he didn’t think it was anything more than that.
“Thank you for getting…” I opened the door, my sentence falling away.
He leaned against the frame, his green eyes hungry and slow as they moved over me. Cheeks red and his eyes blurry from alcohol, he wavered as he stood, his tongue sliding over his lip.
“Blimey,” he growled, stepping into the room. He gripped my hips, yanking me to him. “If I’d known you’d only be wearing this, I would have come a lot sooner.”
“Theo.” My hands went to his arms, stumbling back as he progressed forward with the grace of a drugged bull. “What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to see you.” He leaned down, kissing me, the smell of whiskey on his breath. “I missed you.”
Panic shot me back, the odor chilling my spine, reminding me of Lord William. Reflex juddered me back with a suck of air.
Theo’s lids narrowed, his brow furrowing.
“What’s wrong?” He reclaimed the space I put between us. “We haven’t gotten any time since you’ve gotten here. It’s been months since we’ve really been alone together.” He cupped my face. “The whole night, all I wanted to do was kiss you.”
“I know.” I did too. Earlier. But now, my skin revolted the idea of being touched. “But not tonight. I’m really tired.”
“Jesus, Spence, you sound like we’ve been already married for twenty years.” He leaned his forehead against mine. “I want to be with you.”
I had been the one obsessed with having sex with him in school. Images of Theo and me had kept me tossing and turning in my bed many nights, having to ease the tension myself. But tonight, after Lord William, I felt sick at the thought of anyone touching me.
“Theo…” I sighed.
“Spencer.” He grabbed my hand, lowering it to his crotch, his timbre going husky. “Do you feel how much I want you? Do you want to know how many fantasies I had about you every night at boot camp? That I’ve had knowing you were right down the hall?”
The feel of him hot and heavy for me fluttered air in my throat, twisting up my brain, clashing two sides in a war.
“Please.” His lips grazed my temple. “I love you. We’re now official. Nothing is stopping us.”
“It’s not that.”
His lips moved down my neck, tilting my head as his breath grazed my skin.
I never needed us to be “official” to have sex. It was me always pushing for it, while he kept stopping us, even though I knew he had slept with many girls all over the world, starting quite young. But he had always treated me differently, which strangely, I didn’t like. I was no prude, nor did I want to be put on a pedestal.
“You’re drunk.” Funny that had never been a concern of mine before, because I was usually drunk with him. Tonight, my sobriety was keeping every emotion at surface level. “Not tonight, okay?”
“Fine. No sex.” He exhaled painfully, his head tipping back. “But let me stay. I want to touch you. Be next to you.”
The sincerity in his face, like a little boy pleading, had my heart softening to him. Taking his hand, I tugged him to the bed and climbed in.
He stripped out of his tux, crashing into the nightstand as he tried to pull off his trousers, which made him giggle.
“You are plastered.” I laughed, glad my room was so far from his parents.
“Hazel.” He glowered. “She was challenging me drink for drink.” He fell on his back across the mattress, only in his boxer briefs, which I had seen him in before, but his newly sculpted body had desire stirring in my gut. “I have no idea where that girl holds her liquor, but she kicks my arse every time.”
“Knew I liked her.” I settled onto the pillow.
Theo’s gaze sparkled, his focus shifting to me. He inched up to me, his mouth moving over mine, while his fingers tugged at the robe, parting it. His breath caught as he took me in. Only wearing knickers and a tiny tank, his gaze moved over me, his fumbling hands touching me. Crawling up between my legs, his body laid mine back. His hips pressed into mine, rolling, deepening the kiss. His hands moved under my top.
Trying to give in and let myself get caught up in our young lust, I moved with him, our mouths hungry. Needy. But my mind kept wandering off. Desire and irritation blended in my stomach. I wanted him, I wanted to have sex. But something felt off. In the shadow of Lord William, this felt dirty and tainted.
I hated the thought that our first time together would be soured with what happened to me earlier. “Theo. Stop.” I broke the kiss, moving his hand from my breast.
Frustration skewered over his features.
“Right,” he grumbled, pulling off me, flopping on his back, staring up at the ceiling.
“I’m sorry.” I stared at his profile. Did I just turn down the prince? Was I insane?
He didn’t respond, blinking slowly, like he couldn’t believe he had been rejected as well. It was no secret he got propositioned right and left, by women of all ages, who were after the handsome Prince of Great Victoria, either for bragging rights or claim to the title.
And I had him. In my bed. Wanting me.
Wiggling closer, I placed my head on his shoulder, wrapping my arms around his waist. He took a breath, his arm curling around me, his eyes shut. The fire crackled, flicking light over his face. He was beautiful. A figure most of the female population dreamed about and would give anything to be with.
I really was so lucky.
“I love you,” I whispered into his chest.
Theo was passed out cold, his soft snores his only response.
Chapter 13
A thud on the door bolted my eyes open, sunlight bathing the room in a soft yellow. I lifted my head from the pillow of Theo’s arm, his body outstretched on his back. Light streamed over him as he faced me, sleeping peacefully. He was such a mixture of a boy and a man, his face still innocent and sweet, while his body was showing signs of being a man. It felt nice to wake up next to him. Safe and warm.
A knock tapped the door again, reminding me what had woken me up. As I crawled over Theo, he stirred, muttering as I slipped out of bed. Still bleary-eyed, I veered for the door, sleep thick in my head.
“Coming,” I muttered as another thunk hit the wood. I imagined it was the maid waking me for breakfast. “Yes?” I flung the door open, rubbing at my eyes.
It was not my chambermaid.
Adrenaline shot through me like an espresso, widening my eyes with a jolt.
Lennox, dressed in his dark suit, which was cut to curve his form like a glove, stood in front of me, my shoes in hand. His blue-hazel eyes, intense and predatory like a wolf’s, moved down my figure, making my skin prickle with awareness. His nose flared, stirring something in me I couldn’t even recognize.
But I was acutely aware I was only wearing panties and a white see-through tank.
“My lady.” His gaze darted up and off to the side as he thrust the heels at me.