Suddenly, Fina heard something else rustling in the brush again, and whatever it was, it sounded big. Perhaps a predator had been tracking Zeus or… It couldn’t be one of her sisters, could it?
No. They would never follow a disgraced tribeswoman. Once a person disobeyed the queen, broke the rules, and left the tribe, they were dead to them, not worth spitting on.
Just in case, Fina grabbed her dagger and prepared for hand-to-hand combat.
A statuesque blonde with turquoise eyes appeared. She was naked and beautiful, with smooth, tanned skin and a sheen to her locks that radiated sunlight. Her tits were like two perfect grapefruits, and her little patch of lady-carpet was all neat.
Is it cut in the shape of a butterfly? Fina tilted her head to one side. Whatever the shape, it had little wings.
“Oh. Good morning there. I am Colel.” The woman held out a giant beehive as if it were proof of something important. Then she placed it on her head. “I wonder if you might point me towards a tribe of women that lives around here. Kind of aggressive. Tall. Mostly blonde? I’m looking for one of my warriors, who’s gone missing. Last we knew, he was heading to see them.”
A giant swarm of bees filled the air above the woman, creating a tiny tornado before disappearing into a hole in the woman’s hive-shaped hat.
Fina had seen many strange things in her life, and she’d unseen some, too—for example, their invisible magic spirit animal, Mittens—however, she’d never seen anything quite like this.
“Goddess! What are you doing here?” Brutus appeared, hugging Zeus to his chest.
Goddess? She was a goddess? She was that Colel?
Fina’s eyes washed over the woman’s perfect form. Of course she was a deity; her beauty was surreal. It was also the likely cause for Brutus’s now sparkling eyes.
It was the same look he’d had moments ago when she’d asked him if he had a woman.
Fina’s gaze bounced anxiously between the two as they locked eyes and the air grew dense with emotion. Ohmygod. He’s in love with her.
A searing blaze of jealousy scorched its way through Fina’s body. Maybe because she knew she could never compete with such a divine creature. And maybe, just maybe, she kind of did wish Brutus belonged to her.
CHAPTER TEN
Fina held on tightly to Zeus while their party of three marched through dark, dangerous, and unfamiliar territory toward the Uchben base Brutus had mentioned earlier. It was some fifty miles from her village—a solid three-day journey at a steady pace. But now, instead of hoping to find a radio once they got there, they had a helicopter waiting. According to Colel, she had flown it all on her own to track down Brutus.
Of course she did! Fina thought bitterly. She’s a goddess. She’s perrrfect. She can fly helicopters and probably airplanes, too.
Fina swung her cat-free arm back and forth, clearing a path with the machete Colel had brought along. They were taking turns to make better time. Seriously, though? If those tiny black-and-yellow assassins didn’t stop teasing her, she would lose her shit. The big one, Chuck, kept trying to fly in her mouth, ear, and nostril. Colel claimed it was just playfulness, but the little creature kept making goo-goo-horny eyes at her. Nasty little bee.
Of course, what should she expect? Men! Wings or not, they’re all the same. Like children in big bodies. In Brutus’s case, his body was a tank, but he was no different. Dangle a pair of perfect boobies in his face, and he got all tongue-tied and doe-eyed.
The way he looks at that goddess, you’d think she farted golden eggs or something. Fina gave the thought pause. Hmmm…maybe she does. Fina knew enough about the fourteen gods to safely say they possessed very unusual powers. Akna, for example, was the Goddess of Fertility, and it was rumored that one could become pregnant by simply being in the same room with her. Then there was Ah-Ciliz, the God of Solar Eclipses. Legend said he could block the sun with a twitch of his nose. People said he once caught a cold and sneezed. Afterward, there was no sun for five years and the dinosaurs died. Of course, some also blamed Cimil for that, so who really knew? Point was, these beings were spectacularly powerful. And gorgeous. There was a reason her tribe dedicated their entire existence to worshipping one of them.
“Fina, did you hear us?” Brutus called out.
She flashed a glance over her shoulder at Mr. and Mrs. Perfect Bodies behind her. “Sorry?”
“I think it’s time to set up camp and find dinner. We’ve been at it all day, and a storm is approaching.”
Fina stopped and looked up at the dark clouds accumulating overhead. “What time is it?” she asked. That pesky fat little bee bounced on her nose. “Stop it!”
“Chuck says it is six o’clock. On the nose.” Colel chuckled. “That Chuck. Such an adorable comedian.”
And you’re a pretentious uppity princess! No. Wait. Fina was the real princess. Colel was just a lowly, stupid…Gorgeous goddess with superpowers. I hate her.
“You all right?” Brutus came around in front of Fina and grabbed her shoulders. He bowed his head and stared deeply into her eyes as if looking for something. “I think you need water. Your eyes look a little yellow.”
Oh, great. Now my eyes are yellow. She hated feeling so imperfect.
Brutus added, “I’ll fetch water for you and Señor Gato. Why don’t you make a fire to keep the mosquitos away, and then we’ll think about finding food.”
She blinked. “Who is Señor Gato?”
Brutus chuckled with that deep, sexy, baritone voice and plucked the sweat-covered kitten from her grasp. “My new cat.” He turned in the direction of the river, which they needed to follow for another day until they reached the bend.
“Hey! You can’t rename him. He’s my cat!” she called out.
“Oh, poor Señor Gato. Did the angry lady sweat all over you? Brutus will get you cleaned up. And we’ll find you some more of those juicy grubs you like.” He and the kitten disappeared into the jungle.
A muted chuckle echoed to her side.
Fina turned her head to find Colel setting her hat down on a big mossy rock.
“What’s so funny?” Fina growled.
“Nothing.” Colel smiled slyly as if enjoying a bit of humor at Fina’s expense.
“Then why do you look like my mother when she’s hidden a pit viper under my pillow?” Queen Chacacacakhan enjoyed keeping her people on their feet.
“Your mother put poisonous snakes in your bed?” Colel frowned.
“What doesn’t kill you…” Fina shrugged.
“Makes you insane. Trust me, I know. Cimil is my sister.”
Everyone knew that. The fourteen gods weren’t technically related, since they had no parents, but they considered each other siblings.
“You’re close with Cimil, then?” Fina wasn’t sure if the gods hung out together or did their own thing.
“No one is really close with Cimil besides Minky her unicorn.”
“What about her husband?” Legend had it that Roberto, who was once an Egyptian pharaoh, was a tall drink of hot cocoa with abs for days. He was also a very fine warrior—the fiercest, oldest vampire on the planet. So cool. Fina liked the idea of having a man others feared and respected. Personally, she’d been taught to look down on the weaker male sex, which made it difficult to respect men. It was a huge conundrum, actually. Men were worthless and feebleminded, yet…she and the other women needed them. And wanted them. And maybe benefited emotionally from their presence.