“I’m better prepared this time,” Gordo said, “now that I know. Richard won’t be able to return to Green Creek. Or my father. Or Osmond.”
“But others can.”
“They won’t,” Joe said, sounding less confident than he should, especially if he was trying to sound convincing.
The mask slipped. “How could you know that? You won’t even be here.”
Joe flinched.
“Just so I understand,” I said. “My mother died. Your father died. You took his place. And your first act as Alpha is to divide your pack so you can have revenge.”
Joe’s eyes bled red again. “You’re right,” he said coolly. “I am the Alpha. And I will do what I think is right. You may not agree with me, Ox, but you will respect my decision because I made it.”
“That’s not how that works,” I said, even though a large part of me was demanding I bare my throat in deference. “Just because you’re who you are now doesn’t mean I’ll blindly follow you. Your father understood that. I don’t think you do.”
His claws gouged the wood on the desk as he growled deeply.
Carter and Kelly whimpered, eyes darting between us.
Elizabeth was pale.
Even Mark looked worried.
Gordo, well. Fuck him.
“What if he hurts someone else?” Joe asked, as he regained control. “What if he tries to take away someone else’s family? Do you think I could let myself live with that? He hurts people, Ox. And he does it because he can. I can’t let that happen anymore.”
“Then we all go,” I said. “If you’re going, then you take the rest of us.”
He shook his head. “No. Absolutely not.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want to risk my mom. And we can’t leave the territory unprotected.”
I bit back the need to point out that they’d left Green Creek for years and nothing had happened. “Fine,” I said. “Then Carter can stay. Or Kelly. Mark is already here. But I’m going with you.”
“No,” Joe said.
“Why not?”
“Because I said so.”
“That’s not good enough.”
“Really?” Joe said, sounding furious. “You want to know why, Ox? Because I just lost my father and I am broken because of it. Losing him hurts more than anything I’ve ever felt before. But losing you? Ox, if anything happened to you, it would kill me. There is no point for me if you’re not here. So no. You’re not going. You’re going to stay here because I love you more than anything in this goddamn world and I don’t fucking care if you’re pissed. I don’t care if you hate me because of it. As long as I know you’re safe, then that’s all that matters. That’s why, you bastard.”
I wanted nothing more than to tell him the same.
But I pushed. Because this wasn’t right. “You can’t use your feelings for me to keep me here, Joe. That’s not how this works. I’m not going to stand aside just so you can—”
“I don’t care!” he roared, slamming his fist down onto his father’s desk. The surface cracked, splitting the wood. “You’re my tether, Ox. And you’re Gordo’s. What do you think would happen if we lost you?”
“You’re an asshole,” I said. “Jesus Christ, Joe.”
“The decision has been made.”
“Obviously. I don’t even know why I’m here, then, or why we’re talking. Seeing as how you’ll do what you want anyway. You want to leave? Fine. Go. I won’t stand in your way. Not anymore.”
“Ox—”
“You’ve made up your mind?”
He nodded and looked away.
“Good,” I said. “Now deal with the consequences.”
And I turned and left.
before you go/bittersweet
IT WAS Gordo who found me first.
I was near our clearing, lying on my back, staring up at the stars through the canopy of trees. From where I lay, I could see the ground where Thomas’s pyre had been, the earth scorched. I couldn’t bring myself to go any closer.
I didn’t even need to look up to see who it was. I wondered when I started knowing the pack through bonds alone. I thought most of the others were around, but hanging back. All of them. Except for Joe. He wasn’t in the woods.
“When we were out,” I said dully, eyes tracing over Canis Major. “When you were resetting the wards. You knew already, didn’t you?”
He hesitated. Then, “Yes.”
“And he told you not to tell me.”
“Yes, but I agreed with him.”
I snorted. “Of course you did.”
Gordo sighed, and I saw him out of the corner of my eye, moving in the dark off to my right. “He’s not wrong, Ox.”
“Are you saying that because he’s right? Or because you think something is going to happen to me?”
Gordo didn’t answer. It spoke volumes.
“I can take care of myself.”
“I know,” he said.
“That’s shit, Gordo.”
“Yeah.” He sat down next to me, knees up against his chest.
“And you’re going along with it.”
“Someone has to make sure he doesn’t kill himself.”
“And that someone is you. Because you’re pack.”
“Looks like.”
“By choice?”
“I think so.”
“There have to be others looking for him. For them. Because of what Thomas used to be. They won’t just let this go.”
“They won’t,” Gordo agreed. “But they won’t be looking the same way we will either.”
“How?”
His tattoos flared. I turned away from it.
“You mean to kill.”
He sighed.
“You’re okay with that?”
“Nothing about this is okay, Ox. But Joe’s right. We can’t let this happen to anyone else. Richard wanted Thomas, but how long before he goes after another pack just to become an Alpha? How long before he amasses another following, bigger than the one before? The trail is already growing cold. We have to finish this while we still can. For everyone. This is revenge, pure and simple, but it’s coming from the right place.”
“You honestly believe that.”
“Maybe. Joe does. That’s enough for me.”
We were quiet for a little while, each of us lost in our own thoughts.
Then, “I’ll bring him back, Ox.”
Everything hurt.
“Can you trust me to do that?”
I didn’t want to, but if there was anyone that could, it’d be Gordo. I told him as much.
“Good,” he said, reaching his leg out and bumping his boot against my hip.
“You should talk to him,” I said. “Before you go.”
“Joe?” he asked, sounding confused.
“Mark.”
“Ox—”
“What if you don’t come back? Do you really want him to think you don’t care? Because that’s fucked up, man. You know me. But sometimes, I think you forget that I know you just as well. Maybe even more.”