He looked away. “We need to talk, Ox. I’ve… made a decision. About this. About everything. I need you to…. We just have to talk, okay?”
And I felt cold.
WE STOOD in Thomas’s office. All of us in the pack. It was the first time the wolves had all been human at the same time since the night Richard came. The fact that we all stood together was not lost on me, especially since Gordo was with us too.
Gordo, who apparently had a place in the pack now. Something had happened the night Thomas died, something that bound him to the Alpha, just like the rest of us. I didn’t know if it was his magic, the changing of the Alpha, or a combination of both. Gordo wouldn’t talk about it. In fact, none of them would talk about it.
I thought there was a very real chance they all knew what this was about except for me.
Elizabeth looked pale and wan, an afghan wrapped around her shoulders.
Carter and Kelly were frowning, standing side by side near Joe.
Mark was looking out the window, arms across his chest.
Gordo leaned against the far wall, staring down at his hands.
Joe sat behind his father’s desk. He looked like a child playing grown-up.
And there was me. In-the-dark me.
No one was talking.
So I said, “What did you do?”
All gazes snapped to me, but I only had eyes for Joe.
He sighed. “We’re leaving.”
“What? When?”
“Tomorrow.”
“You know I can’t leave yet,” I said. “I have to meet with Mom’s lawyer in two weeks to go over her will. There’s the house and—”
“Not you, Ox,” Joe said quietly.
I froze.
“And not Mom. Or Mark.”
My skin buzzed.
He waited.
“So it’s you,” I said slowly, not quite sure I understood. “And Carter. Kelly.”
“And Gordo.”
“And Gordo,” I repeated flatly. “Where are you going?”
“To do what’s right,” he said, his eyes never leaving mine. There was something building here, something between the two of us, and it wasn’t good. None of it was good.
“Nothing about this is right,” I said. “Why didn’t you tell me about this?”
“I’m telling you now.”
“Because that’s the right—where are you going?”
“After Richard.”
I should have expected that.
I didn’t.
It hit me like a hammer to the chest.
“Why?” I choked out.
“Because he took from us,” Joe said, hands curling into fists. “He took from us, all of us. From me. From you. You told me that we needed to—”
“I was angry,” I cried at him. “People say things when they’re angry.”
“Well I still am! And you should be too. Ox, he—”
“And what do you think you’re going to do?” I asked him. “What do you think could possibly happen here?”
“I am going to hunt him down,” Joe said, claws popping. “And I am going to kill him for everything he’s taken from me.”
“You can’t divide the pack,” I said, sounding rather desperate. “Not now. Joe, you are the goddamn Alpha. They need you here. All of them. Together. Do you really think they’d agree to—”
“I already told them days ago.” He winced. Then, “Shit.”
The buzzing intensified. “You did what.”
I looked at each of them in turn.
Carter and Kelly were staring at the floor.
Mark and Elizabeth met my gaze. Elizabeth’s eyes were dull and muted. Mark looked harder than I’d ever seen him before.
And Gordo. He—
“Ox—” Gordo started.
“No,” I snapped. “I’ll deal with you later.”
He sighed.
I looked back at Joe. He looked stricken but resolute.
“That’s it, then.”
“Yes.”
“You’re just going to go after him.”
“Yes.”
“You’re going to hunt him down.”
“Yes.”
“And leave the rest of us here to… what? Wait for you? To hope that he doesn’t kill you? To hope he doesn’t come back here where you’ve left us unprotected? Is that what an Alpha does?” I didn’t mean to say that last part. It just came out. And I saw the hurt on Joe’s face before he carefully slid his face into a blank expression. He’d never done that to me before. Hidden himself away. We were open with each other. Always. Until this last week, when he’d apparently kept secret far more than I thought he was capable of.
He said, “I don’t expect you to understand, Ox. Not completely. This is something I have to do.”
“It’s not. You don’t have to do shit. You really think this is what Thomas would have wanted? Do you really think this is what he wanted for you? He wouldn’t have—”
Joe’s eyes flashed red. When he spoke, it was through a hint of fangs. “He was my father, not yours. You don’t get to—”
“Joseph,” Elizabeth said, her voice a whip crack of warning.
But the damage was already done.
I took a step back, suddenly unsure about everything. My place here with the pack. With Joe. It was funny how just a few words could make me question everything.
Joe made a wounded noise, broken and soft. “Ox,” he said. “I didn’t mean that.”
And I knew that. Or at least I thought I did.
But it still hurt more than anything. Especially coming from him. My father still haunted me, even though he was bones in the ground.
And for the first time, I felt my own mask slipping into place, forcing back the hurt. The anger. The sheer terror at the idea of Joe leaving. I wasn’t scared for us, those that he was leaving behind. I was scared for him.
And they’d all decided this. Without me.
The human in the pack.
“How long?” I asked, voice short and clipped.
The wolves looked anxious. Gordo frowned.
“Ox,” Joe said, voice soft.
“No,” I said. “You want to do this? Fine. You want to make decisions without including me? Go ahead. Obviously things aren’t the way I thought they were. But since you’re capable of making these decisions, you can answer the goddamn question. How. Long?”
The blank look was gone from his face. Now he looked like a scared little boy, not the Alpha of the Bennett pack. Most every single part of me was screaming to go to him. To hold him close and never let him out of my sight again. To make this right somehow, because I thought that was supposed to be my job.
But I didn’t.
“As long as it takes,” he said quietly.
“And the rest of us?”
“You’ll stay here.”
“And if he comes back? Or anyone comes? Omegas looking for territory. People like Marie. Or whatever else is out there that none of you have told me about.”
“There will be… protections in place,” Gordo said. I didn’t look back at him, never taking my eyes off Joe.
“Like there were when your father came,” I said. Low blow again, but necessary.