Renna’s gaze wandered to Trev, the way it always did, but she only saw the side of his face and the strong outline of his jaw. He was turned toward Seran, giving her all of his attention. Things between her and Trev were changing, shifting, and it stabbed Renna in the heart. Earlier, King Carver had proudly announced to the royal table that the final negotiations of the marriage treaty were finished. The contract was done, ready to be signed. The wedding was two weeks away. None of that should have been a surprise. It had been the plan all along.
For the longest time, Renna held on to hope that she and Trev would somehow work out. She would never admit that out loud, but if she was honest with herself—honest with her heart—she had dared to hope. What a mistake.
After the performance was over, she found herself wandering outside. Fall nights were Renna’s favorite. Her father always said that dusk was the most peaceful time, so she made her way to the flower garden to hopefully find some of that peace. Sadness had inched its way inside her heart tonight, loneliness tiptoeing not far behind.
Renna looked all around, making sure she was alone. Then she tilted her face heavenward as she walked, needing to talk to someone, needing to talk to her father.
“Everything is so messed up. I’m sure you’re looking down on me wondering what I’ve gotten myself into.” She shook her head. “I’m wondering that myself.”
She hoisted herself up on a cement wall decorated with tiled mosaics, feeling the prick of branches against her back.
“I shouldn’t have spoken that way to Mom. I feel terrible about it, but Dad, what were you thinking? How could you agree to marry someone that was in love with someone else?” She hung her head. “You really were the most honorable man, weren’t you?” Memories of her parents’ strained relationship filled her mind. The knowledge that her mother never loved her father weighed heavily in her chest. “How could Mom do that to you?” Renna whispered out loud. “I’d never do that to anyone.” Tears burned at the corner of her eyes. “I was stupid to hold on to some make-believe relationship with Trev.” She bit the side of her cheek, trying to keep her emotions under control. “He’s just so . . .” she let out a breath, “. . . great. He’s fun, happy, kind, smart, witty, caring.” Her words quieted. “And so unavailable.”
The moon’s light glowed more powerfully, illuminating the sky as the last bits of sunlight faded behind the mountains. Faint stars appeared against the navy night sky. If she tried hard, she could almost feel her father’s presence.
“Please help me, Dad. Help me find a way to forgive Mom and help me get over Trev.”
The sound of crickets mixed with the trickling of water from a nearby fountain lulled her into a comfortable silence. She sat listening, letting the calmness wash over her.
“Well, aren’t you a nice surprise?” Trev’s voice startled her.
The outline of his body walked toward her until he came close enough for her to make out the features of his face. His tie was undone, lazily slung around his neck, and the top buttons of his plaid shirt were loosened.
“How did you find me?” she asked.
Mirth filled his eyes. “I wasn’t looking for you.”
She was glad he couldn’t see her blush. “Of course not. I just—”
“Don’t get me wrong. I’m happy to stumble upon you, but I was really just taking a walk. I do that sometimes when I need to think.” He gracefully lifted his body next to hers on the ledge. “What about you? What brings you out here?”
“I was just missing my dad and wanted to talk to him.” She smirked. “He’s a great listener.”
“I bet he is.” Trev’s expression was kind. “What was he like?”
She found herself wanting Trev to understand who her father was. “He was the best. Hardworking, honest, loyal, funny—he would do anything to make me laugh.” Her mood lightened as she spoke about him. “I used to love the silly things he did. He would take a bite out of a banana when it wasn’t even peeled yet. When he cooked spaghetti squash, he put the vegetable strands on top of his head like it was his hair. He had a ridiculous song for every occasion, and he told the same stupid jokes over and over, but I loved it. He used to dance with me in the kitchen. Read me fairytales late into the night. Explore Desolation ruins with me. He was my best friend.”
“He sounds pretty amazing.”
“He was.” Renna looked into Trev’s eyes, and it suddenly hit her why her heart hung on to him so tightly. “You’re a lot like him.”
“Me?” He shook his head. “Probably not, but I’ll take the compliment.” His mouth raised into a half-smile. “How did he die?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “He just got sick. It happened so fast that I barely noticed I was losing him, and then he was gone.”
“I bet you miss him a lot.”
Renna looked up at the sky and took a deep breath. “At first, the pain was suffocating, but I guess after so many years, I’ve just gotten used to it. Grief sticks with you—it changes and shifts as you grow, but it never leaves you.”
He nodded his head slowly. “I like that description.”
“Do you ever miss your mother?”
“I never knew her, but I miss the idea of her.”
“What about Queen Avina? She died when you were young, right?”
“Yeah, I was only seven. I don’t remember much. Sometimes I think I remember things, or maybe that’s just my mind playing tricks on me because how could I really remember? I was so little when she died.”
“What do you remember?”
Trev looked past her, as if far away for a moment. “Flying a kite in the palace courtyard. Sitting with her on a horse. Her tousling my hair. Simple things. Flashes of memories. But mostly, I just remember the feeling of being loved and how happy that made me. I haven’t felt loved since the day Queen Avina died.”
Renna’s heart broke for him, and without thinking, she placed her hand over his. His face turned to hers, his blue eyes looking deep into her soul. They sat there silently—the air circulating so much between them.
Trev broke the silence. “I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said . . . about the purpose of being the king if I can’t help anybody.”
Renna sighed. “I shouldn’t have said that. I was frustrated about Colter and his family. I’m sure you’ll help a lot of people.”
“No, you were right. I want to help people like Colter. I want to be better than my father. You make me want to be better. Sometimes . . .” He paused as if he was unsure of what he was about to say. “Sometimes I think about how things might have been different between us if I wasn’t the prince.”
“Or marrying Seran?” Renna raised her eyebrow, reminding him of the obvious.
“Yes, or marrying Seran.” He said it in a respectful way.
“Aren’t there any loopholes in this arranged marriage thing?” Renna laughed, trying to cover up how vulnerable that question made her feel. “I mean, if you’re elected to royalty, and it’s not a bloodline thing, why does marrying a princess even matter?”
Trev rubbed the top of her skin with his thumb. “It’s more about who Seran is. Not what. She’s the daughter of the king of New Hope. She’s the link to a powerful alliance. The marriage isn’t about a prince marrying a princess. It’s about two powerful families and kingdoms coming together through marriage. The marriage will secure my future as king. It will help me win the election. It will protect Albion from Tolsten.”