49. The Government Center is plainer than I expected. It just shows how vain and non-essential Albion has become. It’s not fair. I have to fix this somehow.
50. Cypress. How have we not talked about her yet? She terrifies me.
51. I had a servant take me on a little tour. We just happened to pass by your room. I can picture you there. I might’ve taken a bottle of your perfume.
52. How does King Bryant not hate me? I hate me after everything with Seran, but he still wants to be aligned with Albion, with me. I’m not sure I deserve his friendship.
53. This place seems absent without Seran. Without you.
54. I wish you were here.
55. My first Council of Essentials meeting was today. Ahhh, there is so much I want to tell you with this one. I wore the red tie in case you were wondering.
56. King Adler didn’t come to the Council of Essentials. Not a big surprise there. He doesn’t follow the Council of Essentials rules anyway, so why would he even bother coming? He sent some advisors, though. They were annoying.
57. I really like King Davin of Enderlin. King Bryant introduced us formally, and I think there’s a lot of good we can do with Enderlin as far as transportation and trading goes.
58. Do you really think King Reddick is better looking than me? You were joking, right?
59. I got public transportation approved for everyone! My first essential item as king. You are the first person I wanted to tell. I think you’d be happy about it.
60. I miss you so much it hurts.
61. Have you found a good-looking guy from Vassel to keep you company these past few months? I hope not.
62. There’s a lot of political dinners and parties and a lot of political men trying to throw their daughters at me. I’m not saying that to make you jealous. I’m just saying it.
63. Can you believe it has been 166 days since you pretended to drown, and I pulled you out of the water? It has also been 132 days since I last saw you, but who’s counting? Definitely not me.
64. The king of Cristole proposed that clothing dyes should be essential for everyone. I voted for it. I already told you I thought the distinction of color was stupid. It passed.
65. Your mother and I mostly avoid each other. I think she’s worried I’ll ask her about you and I’m worried she’ll bring up our kiss. Avoidance is much easier.
66. Drake is in love with Lizanne. He denies it, but I know.
67. I wonder how long this list will get. I wonder if I will ever stop thinking about you.
68. I don’t like Jenica. Is that okay to say?
69. I just realized, if we got married, your name would be Renna Trevenna. That’s awful! You would need to go with Renna Degray Trevenna, just to break it up a little bit.
70. This is the last week of the Council of Essentials. I’ve learned so much from the other leaders. I think the world is in good hands. Well mostly—we’ve still got King Adler and Tolsten to deal with.
71. King Bryant and I have had some side conversations with other leaders. Everyone wants to avoid a war with Tolsten. We’re going to hold tight for now. There are rumors that Tolsten rebels are challenging King Adler on his own soil. Adler won’t have time for a war with Albion if he is trying to keep his throne from the rebels.
72. I wish you had been here in New Hope this past month. You promised to show me around.
73. I had a dream about you last night. You were swinging on a tree swing, which was weird since I’ve never seen you on a swing, and you’re not five years old, but I’m not complaining. You looked beautiful with your hair blowing back and forth. I can’t seem to get you out of my head.
King Bryant poured Trev a drink as the two men sat in the king’s office. The room wasn’t anything extravagant. It was painted a light cream that almost looked yellow, and there were a few pieces of art hung on the walls. Two leather chairs sat in front of his wooden desk, and a black sofa leaned against the wall under a window. It was all very modest compared to King Carver’s office, which was now Trev’s office.
The last official meeting for the Council of Essentials ended yesterday, and all the rulers were preparing to go home.
“I’m glad I got you alone before you leave tomorrow,” Bryant said, handing him his glass.
“Oh yeah?” Trev took a sip of the tangy liquid, letting it tingle down his throat.
“I want to talk to you about Renna.” Bryant sat on the couch, his leg resting across his knee.
Trev looked at his glass, not knowing what to say. He had almost made it an entire month in New Hope without having to talk to Bryant about her.
“Mariele told me a few weeks ago about you and Renna, and I can only guess what you were going to say when you stopped the wedding ceremony.”
If there ever was a man Trev didn’t want to disappoint, it was Bryant. Even more so than his own father.
His eyes dropped to the floor. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for any of it to happen. Seran deserved better from me, and I let you both down. I’m so ashamed.” The weight of guilt dragged him down again. Would it ever go away? “I hope you can forgive me.”
“I was angry at first. Livid, in fact. You’re right. My daughter deserved better than that.” Trev braced himself for the king’s wrath. “But my anger made me a hypocrite, and that realization was very confusing. I was enraged for Seran, but at the same time, I felt sorry for you.”
Trev let out the breath he’d been holding, startled by the king’s words. “Why would you ever feel sorry for me? This was all my fault.”
“For the last ten years, I’ve put politics over my daughter. I never should have made the marriage alliance.” Bryant shook his head with regret. “You might not know this, but many years ago I was in your same shoes. I loved a woman I wasn’t supposed to and was forced to marry another—a princess.”
Trev eased back into his chair, listening intently, hoping King Bryant’s words could somehow make him feel better.
“I know what Seran’s future with you would have looked like because I lived it with Queen Isadora. I was never able to love Isadora the way I loved Mariele, and it was an empty, sad marriage. I wouldn’t have wanted that kind of life for my daughter.”
“I didn’t want that for Seran either.” Trev could feel the emotion rising in his chest.
“I know.” King Bryant’s eyes were kind. “You made the choice that I myself was not brave enough to make so many years ago. And because of my own cowardice, I hurt the people closest to me.”
Trev sat forward slightly. “But you chose your country. New Hope would have suffered if you hadn’t.”
The king waved his hand. “New Hope would have been fine. My country didn’t need a marriage, it needed the benefits that the marriage provided. But we could have renegotiated our agreement with Northland and removed the wedding altogether. It might have been awkward, but with time I believe everything would have resolved itself.”
“I just hate that the last words Seran heard were the beginnings of me breaking off the marriage.”
“You need to forgive yourself for that. It takes a lot of courage to do what you were going to do, and it shows me that you’re strong and that you fight for what you believe in. Those are qualities a good king must have. I should have done what you were about to do. And now you have the chance to see it through to the end. “