He couldn’t hear it. And he needed to leave before he did. Giving her one final nod, he turned and walked back to the carriage.
It was time to go home.
IF JONAS’S VISIT had left Sophia at sixes and sevens, seeing Aaron on the road beside a carriage loaded down with trunks made her utterly befuddled.
She ate her breakfast and stared into her tea. It was time to admit this was not what she’d thought it would be, yet it was all she was ever likely to have.
She’d envisioned having a handful of students who, even if they couldn’t commit to the level of training her father had taught, would be interesting in learning the basics.
Instead, all she had to show for a month of work was many young ladies with a proper seat. Mrs. Carlton still didn’t care if they were good at riding. She just wanted them to appear as if they were.
That lack of interest from the school and her students led her to spend more time alone than she ever had before. She amused herself by working with Rhiannon, attempting to perform some of her disciplines while sitting aside. Once she and the horse learned how to use a whip as the right-side leg aid, they started making progress.
Unfortunately, she had no one to share it with. Pouring out her accomplishments in a letter to Jonas wasn’t the same as talking to him.
Sophia missed talking.
“Good morning.”
Sophia smiled at the other teacher’s greeting. The staff were nice, but since Sophia spent her days out of doors or in the stable, they hadn’t been able to get to know one another beyond the pleasantries.
The post arrived and with it a letter from Jonas. Sophia tucked it into the pocket of her riding habit to read alone later. It had taken her a couple of weeks to become accustomed to managing the longer skirt of the habits, but she thought herself rather skilled now.
She’d had little to do but practice.
In the stable, she opened the letter, anxious for a taste of home. Now that Jonas could sit, was he considering looking for a job in London?
Her eyes flitted over the letter. No. In fact, he’d written the opposite.
No one is going to say they enjoy mucking out stalls, but outside of the stable the air is fresh. Mr. Knight likes me more since I have been able to climb back into a saddle.
I cannot ride for prolonged periods of time, but I can exercise the horses in the countryside. I’ve found wonderful places to sit and sketch. I’ll show them to you when I see you next.
She couldn’t ask him to come—couldn’t even hint at it. He sounded content. She wouldn’t want him to give that up just because she wasn’t. If she asked him to come to London, he’d willingly work in the dankest stable in town to make her life better.
If Jonas were here, he’d tell her she was despondent because the heart truly longed for God and wouldn’t be happy until He was its purpose. Maybe there was something to that. After all, six years of trying to regain what she’d lost wasn’t leaving her fulfilled.
MRS. CARLTON STOPPED her after dinner that night. “The girls’ riding has improved greatly. They look very proper.”
Sophia smiled with clenched teeth. “Thank you.”
“It does not, however, seem to be taking up a great deal of your time.”
“Er, well, no. I’d hoped for a few advanced students, but none has shown an interest.”
The headmistress nodded. “We can’t have a teacher who doesn’t work. Perhaps we need to consider what else you can teach the girls?”
What else could she teach them? If they didn’t want to expand their riding skills, she doubted they wanted to learn how to clean a hoof or use a currycomb. Horses were all she knew.
“We’ll meet next week,” Mrs. Carlton said in the same kind but firm voice that had guided many a young girl into womanhood. “You can present a list of other talents that might be useful.”
“Yes, Mrs. Carlton,” Sophia said, because she didn’t have any other options.
That night she lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. Her normal methods of dealing with problems by either seizing her first available option or allowing Jonas to manage it weren’t going to work this time.
Jonas wasn’t here, and not a single alternative sat before her.
Perhaps it was time to try something new.
“God,” she whispered, eyes fixed on a tiny crack in the plaster. “Where do I belong? What would you have me to do? I don’t want this restlessness. Jonas always says to rest in you and know you hold my future. I don’t think I’ve been doing that. I’ve been chasing what I once had instead of what you want to give me.”
Her words turned to nonsensical mumbles as she fell asleep, feeling more at peace than she’d been in weeks, even if she didn’t know how God would answer.
TWO DAYS LATER, it came in the strangest form.
“Miss Fitzroy, you have a visitor.”
Sophia looked up from the book she’d been reading, searching for inspiration on what she could suggest to Mrs. Carlton. “I do?”
“In the drawing room. In the future, Miss Fitzroy, please restrict your visits to the days you have off.”
Since Sophia didn’t know who could be visiting her, she didn’t know how to tell them when to come, so she gave the headmistress a nod and left the room.
Her feet stumbled to a stop as she entered the drawing room.
Miss Hancock stood by the window.
“Hello, Miss Fitzroy, dear.” She strode across the room, peered out into the front hall, then shut the door with a decisive click. “Now, tell me, have you been here long enough to find it utterly boring?”
“I beg your pardon?”
Miss Hancock sighed. “I attended a school like this, you know. I’m glad I did, but I was also happy to leave it behind.”
It was difficult to imagine Miss Hancock in an environment such as Mrs. Carlton’s. Her uniqueness would have had the teachers’ faces scrunched into permanent frowns.
“I’m going to take your silence as agreement, though I don’t blame you for not wanting to say it aloud. Miss Fitzroy, I’m in need of a new companion, and I’d like to offer you the job.”
“A companion?”
“Yes. I want one who knows how to travel.” She tilted her head in Sophia’s direction. “You’ve certainly done your share of that. I won’t have to worry about you shying away from a speck of dirt.” She started strolling about the room. “I’d also like to learn to ride better. I live in Newmarket, after all. One should ride well when they live in Newmarket.”
“Do you plan to race?”
“Goodness no. You proved the feminine ability there quite nicely. It would take me too long to get decent at it and I haven’t got enough interest.”
“Oh.”
She wanted the job. Badly. Wanted to jump up and scream that she would take it. But Aaron had gone through so much to provide her this opportunity. Wouldn’t throwing it away insult him? “Does Mr. Whitworth know you’re offering me this job, Miss Hancock?”
“Call me Harriet. I can’t abide a companion who doesn’t feel comfortable with me. May I call you Sophia? Good.”
Sophia bit her lips to hold in a smile. It was possible Miss Hancock—Harriet—liked to talk as much as she did. They would be very noisy companions.