He realized he’d been quiet for too long when Mia frowned. “I didn’t realize that would be a tender topic.”
“It’s not,” he said quickly. Too quickly. He’d spoken without thinking. After thinking, he realized his words were a lie.
It was a tender topic. Even after all these years.
To make up for the untruth, he gave her a fast, slightly watered-down version of the conversations that’d led him to a lifetime of bachelorhood. “You hear the same thing enough times from enough people, and you run out of ways to deny the truth.”
In typical Mia fashion, she didn’t say anything for a while. When she finally did answer, also in typical Mia fashion, her words were carefully chosen. “You might well be the most beautiful man I’ve ever met. But all those women were idiots. The way you look is the least interesting, and certainly the least note-worthy, thing about you.”
“Are you saying we’d still be here now”—he waved a hand to indicate their pretzeled bodies—“if I had a peg leg, an eye patch, and face scar like Tony Montana?”
He saw her bite the inside of her cheek. “First of all, Scarface? Another of my grandmother’s favorites. She always said Montana was one of Hollywood’s greatest villains. Second of all, a peg leg and an eye patch? Hells yeah. I love me a good pirate. Argh.” She winked and then her expression grew somber.
“But in all seriousness”—her voice dropped an octave—“I’m not here with you now because you’re all twisted steel and sex appeal. I’m here with you now because you’re funny and smart and kind. Because you’re honest and loyal and dependable. Because you make me feel safe and happy and...calm. Because of what’s here.” She touched his temple. “And what’s here.” She pressed her fingers against his chest, and he wondered if she could feel how his heart went all skippity-doo-dah.
“You really believe that, don’t you?” His voice was barely a whisper.
“I don’t believe it. Belief is reserved for things that aren’t irrefutable facts.” She placed her hand against his cheek, and he instinctively nuzzled his whiskers into her palm. “Your mother told you behind your pretty face is nothing but trash? She’s wrong. Behind your pretty face are all the amazing things you’ve done and all the horrendous things you’ve overcome. Your high school girlfriend told you women love men and not boys? Well, I can safely say that you are all man. And I mean that in the best possible way. No toxic masculinity here. You use your strength and male privilege for good, not evil.”
He thought about throwing her own words back at her. I’m not a biscuit, so there’s no need to butter me up.
Except it was obvious she wasn’t trying to flatter him. She believed every word coming out of her mouth, and that left him speechless.
“And that woman you dated before you became a SEAL? The one who told you you’re too good-looking, and any woman you choose would be constantly worried about you straying? That says more about her insecurities than it does about you. I have no doubt if you ever decide to make a vow to some woman, you’ll never break it, come hell or high water.”
If he thought making love to Mia had changed things for him, that was nothing compared to the transformations happening inside him with each new word out of her mouth.
It wasn’t simply the topography of his world that was changed now. Oh, no. He was living in a new world. A world where a woman didn’t care about what he’d been born as, and instead appreciated all he’d become. A world where he wasn’t relegated to the role others had made for him, because the path he’d forged was all his own. A world where Romeo didn’t exist, because there was only Spiro.
Mia’s Spiro.
Those two words whispered through his head, and they were as crystalline and clear as the sky at 60,000 feet.
He was hers.
Little by little, inch by inch, with every sweet smile or sneakily funny remark or tender touch, she’d wiggled her way into his heart until she’d stolen the whole damn thing.
I love her.
The realization didn’t hit him like a lightning bolt from the blue. It was more like her words gave him the courage to finally admit something that had been lurking around in the far reaches of his mind for quite some time.
“Thank you.” His voice sounded strained. “You have no idea how much that means to me.”
She smiled. “I’d say you’re welcome, but that implies I was giving you compliments, and I was just giving you the truth.”
Before he could respond, she gave him a quick—far too quick—peck on the lips and snuggled back onto his chest. Her warm cheek was cushioned against his pectoral muscle so that her ear was positioned directly over his heart.
Or I guess it’s her heart.
And that was more than a little terrifying because... “Why don’t you want a happily-ever-after?”
She stiffened slightly and remained quiet for a while. Then, “It’s not that I don’t want one. Who doesn’t want one? It’s more that I wouldn’t have the first clue how to make a long-term relationship work. It’s not like I was modeled a happy, healthy marriage. Plus—”
She cut herself off, and he got the impression that, once again, she’d nearly admitted something she wasn’t ready to admit. Except this time, he couldn’t let it go. He had to know. “Plus what?”
“Plus...my job keeps me on the road for good chunks of time. Relationships are tough enough without throwing in a few thousand miles of distance. Or so I’ve been told,” she finished, and he blew out a covert breath.
She wasn’t opposed to commitment because of some soul-deep aversion to monogamy, or because she didn’t believe in romantic love, or because she couldn’t see herself being happy unless she was footloose and fancy free.
Which meant there was hope.
Hope for what? the voice asked.
Hope that I can change her mind about forever like she just changed mine.
But that would come later. For now...
“Will you tell me more about Andy?” he asked carefully.
He heard her swallow. And when she spoke, her voice was thick with emotion. “Andy was wonderful. The sweetest, gentlest boy I’ve ever known. He had a beautiful singing voice. He was an excellent storyteller. And he loved to read, mostly science fiction. But he wasn’t the same after we got back from the hospital. I mean, he seemed okay for a while. Maybe a little quieter, but all the doctors said was that was to be expected. Then, right around the time he hit puberty, the anxiety and depression manifested themselves. And along with them came thoughts of suicide and bouts of self-harm.”