“And yet you stay faithful to him?”
Eve nodded. “I love him. And I guess, deep down, I still hope that he’ll change. In many ways, the war is slowly destroying his way of life. He and Audrey are forced to live and work alongside people they once considered beneath them. They’ve learned to make do without the finer things they once took for granted, like warm baths and five-course meals. I feel sorry for them. Their family is so cold and unfeeling that neither one of them really knows what love is. Alfie can’t imagine that love would be enough to sustain him if he gave up his wealth. Money is all he has to give his life meaning.”
“Audrey is different?”
“I think so. The hardships of war have knocked some sense into her. She’ll be okay. Although I would hate to see her return to that cold, drab way of life when the war ends. I hope she finds true love.” She paused to take another sip of her drink, then asked, “What about you, Louis? What will your life be like after the war?”
“I’ll join my father’s insurance business. Support my wife and daughter . . . But I want to ask you one more question, Eve. If you’re right and things don’t work out with Alfie, what will you do when the war is over?”
“I have no idea. Live day to day, I suppose. Find a job, share a few laughs with friends. Wait to fall in love again.” She shrugged as if hoping she could shrug away the pain. “I honestly don’t know. After four years of war I feel like the shell-shocked people you see wandering through bombed-out ruins in a daze. All the familiar landmarks are gone, and they have no idea where they’ll go or how they’ll live, so they just stand around waiting for someone to come along and tell them what to do.”
“You’re so young. You’ll have plenty of time to figure it out.”
She tried to smile. “You’re right. I will.” Eve felt drawn to this man, comfortable with him. Too comfortable. She needed to change the subject. “Tell me about your wife.”
Louis took another slug, grimacing at the taste or maybe the temperature. Eve recognized the move as something Alfie did to stall for time. She waited for Louis to swallow, wanting to hear all about the woman who’d captured the love of such a warm, sensitive man as Louis.
“Jean and I were pretty young when we started dating. Only sixteen. We went steady all through high school. Then I went off to college to study business and Linda took a job in her uncle’s department store. Her father didn’t want her to go to college, saying it was a waste of money since all she really wanted to be was a wife and mother.”
“And is that what she wanted?”
“I guess.” He shrugged as if he’d never considered the question before. “After Pearl Harbor, we knew I’d have to go off to war, and we were both a little scared of what the future might bring. Jean had a cousin who’d died on board the USS Arizona, so that hit pretty close to home. In those last weeks before I had to leave, Jean and I . . . well . . . we went a little bit too far, if you know what I mean.”
Eve looked away, remembering Alfie’s pleas. She knew.
“Just our luck, Jean got pregnant,” Louis continued, idly twisting his wedding ring. “She wrote and told me about it while I was in basic training. We got married when I came home on leave. After that, the Army shipped me all around for more training, so we’ve never lived as a married couple in our own place. It seems funny to think that she’s my wife. Jean and the baby live with her parents. Karen was born while I was stationed in California, but I got to see her once before I shipped over here. The first time I held her, it scared me to death to think I was responsible for such a tiny, helpless human being. I was a carefree college student and a jock one day, a husband and a father the next. And now a soldier. Like it or not, I’ll have to settle down and be responsible when I get home. One night of youthful passion and now all my choices have been made for me.”
“Do you love her?”
He gave a little laugh. “I loved her a little too much, wouldn’t you say?” Eve wanted to shake her head and say that passion and love weren’t the same. She knew from experience with Alfie. She also knew how hard it was to deny passion when you loved someone. Eve didn’t regret her choices, but Louis obviously did.
“When Jean told me she was pregnant,” he continued, “I asked Tom and Bob what I should do. They advised me to do the right thing. The honorable thing. But I felt like I messed up my life pretty badly and probably Jean’s life, too. She should be out having a good time with her friends instead of being tied down with a baby. Sometimes I wonder if she feels as trapped as I do.”
“Would she tell you if she did?”
He slowly shook his head. “No, probably not. And I would never hurt her feelings by telling her what I just told you. We’ve made our bed, as they say, and now we have to sleep in it.”
“Listen to us,” Eve said, summoning a smile. “Let’s not talk about dreary things anymore. Do you Americans ever hold dances around here? Maybe we could go to one. You’re a terrific dancer.”
“They post notices about dances at the base all the time, but Robert never wants to go, and I didn’t have a charming partner like you to go with.”
“Let’s go tonight. Want to?”
“There’s nothing I’d like better.”
“Super!” she said, springing to her feet. “You find out where the dance is, and I’ll meet you in Wellingford’s foyer, ready to go.”
Louis stood as well. “Are you going there now? I’ll walk back with you.”
“No, there are a few people here in town I’d like to visit first.”
“Swing by here and get me when you’re ready to go. In the meantime, I’d better defend my championship title at the dartboard.”
19
LONDON, NOVEMBER 1943
Eve’s envy stirred when she saw two letters for Audrey on the hotel’s front desk and none for her. She trudged up the stairs to their room, leaving Audrey behind to open them. After a long night with numerous ambulance runs, Eve longed to take a hot bath and collapse in bed. Their accommodations in this aging guesthouse had a marvelous bath. Too bad the tub had a red line painted around the inside to remind her that she was allowed only five inches of water. How could anyone enjoy a satisfying bath in five inches of water? Eve followed the rule, nonetheless, and when she returned to her room, wrapped in a towel, she found Audrey sitting in bed, still reading her letters. Either they were very long letters, or she was reading them more than once. The smile Audrey wore was so rare and so lovely that Eve wished she could take a photograph.
“Are both letters from Robert?” Eve asked.
“Yes.” Audrey didn’t look up.
“And didn’t he send two letters last week, too?”
“Uh-huh.” Audrey laid the letters down with a sigh and stood to rummage through her dresser drawer for stationery and a pen. “Do you mind if I keep the light on for a while?” she asked. “I want to answer Robert before I go to sleep.”
“That’s fine,” Eve said, brushing her hair. “Maybe I’ll write to Alfie.” But Eve sat with the blank page in front of her, unable to think of anything new to say. Meanwhile, Audrey filled page after page, smiling to herself. Her bliss was striking. Was she falling in love with Robert Barrett? They’d spent a great deal of time together during Audrey’s furlough at Wellingford. Eve had gone dancing with Louis both nights and didn’t know how Audrey and Robert spent their time, but in the months since then, they’d written letters to each other regularly. Lots of letters. If Audrey was falling in love, Eve would do everything she could to make her friend’s romance end happily.