“Talk about what?” Audrey still wore a dreamy, satisfied expression on her face from Robert’s kiss, like a cat that had just awakened from a long nap.
“Sit down,” Eve ordered, gesturing to the bed. Audrey obeyed, perched on the edge, her spine straight. Eve crawled onto the bed and sat cross-legged, facing her. She drew a deep breath and said, “You’re falling in love with Robert, aren’t you?”
“What? No . . . I . . .” Audrey’s pink cheeks gave her away. “We all agreed that the four of us would be friends, didn’t we?”
“Louis and I agreed because I’m in love with Alfie and he’s married to Jean. But Robert has a girlfriend, not a wife. The two of you are both free to fall in love with each other. And I think you have.”
“You’re wrong about Robert. We’re just friends.”
Eve decided to try a different approach. “What were you talking about on the way home tonight?”
Audrey brightened as if an electric light had switched on inside her. “All sorts of things. Robert talks to me the same way you and I talk, not in an artificial way like all the other men I’ve known. Tonight, we discussed our favorite poets—Elizabeth and Robert Browning in particular. Robert has some of his favorite lines memorized and he recited them.”
Eve laughed out loud. “Come on! Can’t you see it, Audrey? You two are in love.”
“I . . . I don’t think so. . . . Robert has a girlfriend—”
“How does it make you feel when you imagine him going off to war? When you think about him being in danger? Or being killed?”
“Eve, that’s horrible! Don’t talk that way!”
“How do you feel about him going back to the United States and marrying his girlfriend and never seeing you again? He won’t be able to write any more letters, you know. How will it be to live the rest of your life without him? Are you willing to say goodbye to Robert forever and settle for one of the men you used to date before the war? Or maybe you’ll become an old maid like your governess—what was her name?”
“Miss Blake. Why are you saying these horrid things?”
“Because you’re in love with Robert and he’s in love with you, and if you’re smart, you’ll melt that wall of ice that has separated you from people all your life and give him your heart! Fall in love, Audrey. Enjoy the wonder of it. It’s like nothing you’ve ever experienced in your life, isn’t it?”
Audrey seemed deep in thought for a moment. Her face glowed. “Even if you’re right and what I feel for Robert is love, I wouldn’t know what to do about it. I’ve never received anyone’s affections before or given away my own. I’ve never learned how one goes about it.”
“Oh, Audrey . . .” Eve longed to embrace her, but Audrey sat so stiffly Eve feared she might break. “There’s no right or wrong way to love someone. Just do what comes naturally. Let go of your reserve and give away your heart. Don’t keep it all locked up inside and protected.”
“I’ve had to. It’s the only way I can keep from getting hurt. I envy you, Eve. I always have. Everywhere you go people love you. I’m afraid to love as spontaneously as you do.”
“You need to let go of your fear and take a chance while you still can. Robert may be going into combat soon. We both know the invasion is coming with the promised ‘second front.’ We know why they’ve been massing troops and piles of equipment. None of us knows what tomorrow may bring. We could all be dead and forgotten. In the meantime, why not take a chance on love?”
“Where . . . how does one begin?”
“Tell Robert how you feel. Tell him that your friendship has become something more to you. Tell him you want to be with him every single moment you possibly can.”
Audrey looked down at her lap. “I could never do that. It’s not the way I was raised. One doesn’t boldly speak one’s mind that way.”
“Look around you, Audrey. Look what’s become of your beautiful home. And remember what London looked like today? Does anything you see resemble the way you were raised? Did you ever think you would wear an ugly uniform and drive an ambulance and eat in a mess hall and shower with a dozen other women? The war has erased the rules and traditions we grew up with. England is never going to be the same again. And neither are we.”
“You’re right, you’re right. . . . I know I’ve changed. . . . But what if Robert doesn’t feel the same way about me?”
Eve rolled her eyes. “He does, believe me! Haven’t you noticed the way he looks at you? Doesn’t it make your insides melt?” Audrey looked away, blushing. “And why do you think he writes so many letters? I don’t write to Alfie as often as you write to Robert, and Alfie is thousands of miles away, not forty.”
“But . . . what if he doesn’t love me?” she asked in a tiny voice.
Eve huffed in frustration. She was trying to be patient, but she didn’t want her friend to miss her chance at true love because of fear. “Even if he does reject you, you’ll be no worse off than you are now. You can still remain friends. But if I’m right, and he is in love with you, then you’ll never be sorry that you took a chance.”
“What about his girlfriend, Linda?”
“It’s up to Robert to worry about her. She has nothing to do with you loving him.”
The peaceful look on Audrey’s face had vanished, replaced by a furrowed brow and pinched lips. “Did you tell Alfie how much you love him?” she asked. Audrey was stalling, but Eve indulged her.
“I told him that I love him, yes. And he claims he loves me. But he also admitted that he loves your father’s money more.”
“That can’t be true. He looks so happy when he’s with you.”
“Alfie hides behind the same wall of ice that you do. He’s just better at masking it with a show of affection. He’s as scared and unfamiliar with relationships as you are. Where would he have learned to be a good husband? Or to have a loving marriage? Not from your parents. Alfie doesn’t know how to love any more than you do.”
“Yet you love him and hope to marry him?”
“I love him, yes. But he isn’t going to marry me and risk his inheritance. At least he was honest enough to admit it. The war is changing all of us, so for now, I’m hoping our darling Alfie will come home a different man, with different values. I hope he’ll see that love is the most important thing in the world. And right now, I’m trying to get you to see the same thing. Hasn’t this war changed you, Audrey?”
“When I look in the mirror, I hardly recognize myself. I’ve learned to do things I never imagined I would be brave enough or strong enough to do.”
“Then tell me this—do you want to live your life after the war according to your mother’s rules? Do you want to be a socialite, marry a rich man you don’t love? Let the servants do everything for you, including raising your children?”
“I don’t. No.”
“Then take a chance, Audrey. Melt the wall of ice and tell Robert you love him. I guarantee you’ll never regret it.”
“But what if—?”