Eve thought of all the answers she could give. How Audrey no longer talked of them being sisters or of them being together no matter what. How Eve was Audrey’s servant, a life she didn’t want. How neither of them respected the decisions the other one had made. Instead Eve shrugged and said, “Because it’s time, Audrey. We both know it.”
“Where will you go? What will you do?”
“I’m pursuing a few possibilities. Harry and I will make our way somehow. I don’t want to be stuck here in the past. Mum worked hard so I wouldn’t have to be a servant all my life, and I’m not going to let her down. I want a better life for Harry.”
“Do you have a forwarding address? How will I reach you?”
“I’ll write once we’re settled. Listen, I’ll always be grateful to you for giving Harry and me a place to stay. Thank you for that.”
“I . . . I don’t know what to say.”
“Neither do I.”
Eve knew she’d made the right decision when Audrey didn’t try to talk her out of it or beg her to stay. But the pain that knowledge caused was like a knife in her heart. They were both dry-eyed as they hugged goodbye at the train station on Friday. They had already shed enough tears for a lifetime.
25
Eve crossed her arms over her chest as she stood with forty other naked, shivering war brides at Tidworth Army Camp, waiting to be examined for venereal diseases and lice. She tried to put on a brave face, telling herself she’d endured worse, but the sound of the other women’s embarrassed weeping unnerved her. Audrey certainly would have wept, too. She never would have survived the humiliation. The physical examinations were endless and intrusive—and horribly thorough. The indignity would have crushed Audrey.
“Mrs. Robert Barrett?” It took Eve a moment to realize that the nurse was calling her.
“Sorry,” she said as she hurried forward. “I was daydreaming.” She needed to pay better attention or they’d flag her for a more thorough hearing test. Eve was still unused to answering to “Audrey” or to calling her son Robbie. She hadn’t wanted to call him Bobby—that was what Audrey called her son. Robbie would do.
A long hour later, after being poked and prodded in ways she hoped never to endure again, Eve returned to the dressing room. “That was dreadful! Dreadful!” one of the other brides whimpered. “I can’t believe they’d treat us this way!” The others sniffled as they nodded in agreement.
“At least it’s over and we’re one step closer to getting out of this place,” Eve said, trying to cheer them. “Keep thinking of your husband. It will all be worthwhile when you’re in his arms again, being smothered by his kisses.”
Eve learned on her first day in camp that she’d made a serious mistake in her haste to adopt Audrey’s identity. The other brides all kept photographs of their husbands near their bunks and bragged about the handsome American soldiers they’d married. Eve stood out as the exception. The only photograph she had was of Alfie, and he wore a British Army uniform, not an American one. Eve had tried to remedy her error by rifling frantically through her bags, agonizing in front of the other women over misplacing the precious photograph. They eyed her with suspicion. They might also think it odd that she didn’t spend hours each evening writing letters to her husband. Eve hadn’t even thought to bring stationery and envelopes and had to borrow some from the Red Cross workers. She used it to write to the Barretts, telling them she would soon be on her way.
Eve’s regimented life at Tidworth reminded her of the ATS training camp with its spartan bunks, tasteless food, and giggling, squabbling women. When they weren’t enduring physical exams, the brides attended classes to prepare them for their new life in America. The lessons were always the same: be adjustable and ready for change. The prospect would have terrified the real Audrey.
As the days passed, Eve did her best not to stand out. She didn’t socialize with the other women, including her roommates, adopting Audrey’s shy personality—not to mimic her, but so she wouldn’t say the wrong thing and be discovered as an impostor. Eve had no idea what would happen if the authorities found out. Would they arrest her? And what would happen to Harry? As her time at Tidworth dragged on with no end in sight, Eve sometimes wondered if she’d made a mistake. She considered walking away from the camp, but she had no place to go and no one to turn to. In the end she stayed, fearing the moment when she would be found out.
But she wasn’t found out. Eve passed all the tests, endured the indignities, and the day finally came when her embarkation orders arrived. She and Harry would travel to Southampton to board a ship to America. The ocean voyage would take nine days. Eve stood in line at the telegraph office with the other excited brides who were sending telegrams to their husbands. Eve sent hers to the Barretts, letting them know when her ship would dock in New York City.
The enormous ocean liner loomed above the Southampton wharf, dwarfing Eve and the other brides. It seemed ludicrous that a ship so immense could stay afloat. Smoke billowed from its twin stacks as if the vessel were impatient to set sail. At last it was Eve’s turn to board. She felt a moment of heart-pounding panic and regret as she carried Harry up the gangplank. She was leaving her homeland behind. Forever. She had fought so hard to save her country from the Nazis, enduring endless days and long years driving an ambulance, rescuing broken, bleeding survivors. She had lost her mum and Alfie and her friend Iris in the fight, and it suddenly seemed wrong to turn her back on her nation as it struggled to rebuild. Yet Eve continued forward, even as her eyes burned with tears. She had no other place to go.
The crew guided her to the tiny cabin she would share with another bride from Tidworth. Pamela and her one-year-old daughter were heading to an American state called Montana. “Aren’t you coming up on deck to say farewell to England?” Pamela asked when the time came. Eve shook her head. Pamela’s parents had come to send her off, but no one stood onshore to wave goodbye to Eve. She waited alone in the cabin with Harry asleep in her arms, the ship’s boilers rumbling beneath her feet.
Eve was alone. And yet . . . a smile spread across her face when she realized that she was free. Free from the stigma of her past as a servant. Her lack of education, her affair with a married man, her son’s illegitimate birth were all forgotten. She was Audrey Clarkson Barrett, wife of the late Robert Barrett. Her son could grow up feeling proud of the father he would never meet, just as Eve had. The ship’s horn sounded a long, low note. Then another. She and Harry would sail toward a new beginning, a promising future.
The ocean voyage proved calm and uneventful—no violent storms, no bouts of seasickness, no delays. Eve kept to herself and didn’t mingle with the other brides, worried she would make a mistake and give herself away. The others chatted about their new lives in America, wondering what it would be like, anxious about meeting their in-laws, nervous about seeing their husbands again after so many months apart. Eve shared their fears but for entirely different reasons. Surely Robert’s parents had seen a photograph of Audrey. Would they know she was a fraud the moment they saw her? Her biggest fear was for Harry—what would happen to him if she was discovered and arrested?