The Christmas party had exhausted her, and it was only the first of many. The church service drained her as well. She crept into Harry’s nursery when she returned home and bent over his crib to kiss him. Only then did the suffocating weight begin to lift. She remembered how Audrey had grabbed her hand in the training shed and led her through the fog and out into the light. Eve missed her friend.
On Christmas Day, Eve sat beside the glittering Christmas tree in the Barretts’ formal living room, inhaling the scent of pine and opening the mountain of expensive presents Robert’s parents had purchased for her and Harry. The tree would have filled Granny Maud’s entire cottage. Eve remembered being grateful for hand-knit mittens at Christmas. An orange. A few sticks of penny candy. America’s prosperity astounded her. There were no piles of rubble where homes once stood, no queues for food, no shortages. Soldiers like Robert and Louis had returned home to civilian life as if the war had never happened.
Mrs. Barrett laughed with delight as little Harry—Robbie—watched the electric train that had once been Robert’s steam in a circle beneath the tree. Mr. Barrett sat on the floor with Robbie on his lap, manning the controls. Eve had planned to simply get her bearings in America and then move on, find a job, rent a flat, work hard to support her son and herself. But Robert was the Barretts’ only child. They asked Eve to call them Mom and Dad. They promised her a good life, and in the three months she’d been here, they’d kept that promise. They would be devastated if Eve moved away with Robbie. Their grief had overwhelmed them until Eve and Robbie arrived, bringing a reason to laugh again. Eve knew she was trapped—but it was a very comfortable trap. She would stay trapped for her son’s sake.
The Barretts had driven Eve out to the little tract home that Robert had begun building in a nearby housing development. “It will be finished before Robbie’s first birthday in June,” they told her. “You can live with us until it’s done.” She drove Robert’s car. She had money in the bank from Robert’s life insurance policy. The Barretts set up a college fund for Robbie. Eve would never have to work another day in her life.
She watched the little train chugging in circles and pushed aside her lingering guilt, determined to enjoy her first Christmas in America.
When the doorbell rang, Mrs. Barrett rose to answer it, since the servants had Christmas Day off. “Someone’s here to see you, Audrey,” she called. “You and Robbie.”
“To see me?” Fear made Eve’s voice squeak. After going three months without being discovered, she had dared to believe she would get away with the deception. She scooped up Robbie, her stomach twisting as she walked to the door, steeling herself to face uniformed police officers, US government officials, British authorities. Instead, she found a gangly, friendly-looking young man her own age in a plaid wool overcoat. He pulled off a knit stocking cap, and his light-brown hair stood on end from the static. He had warm hazel eyes and such a boyish smile, Eve had to fight the urge to smooth down his hair for him.
“Hi, Audrey? I’ve been looking forward to meeting you. I’m Tom Vandenberg.” He stuck out his hand to shake hers. It took Eve a moment for the name to register.
“Of course! Robert’s friend. One of the Famous Four. I’m so glad to meet you.”
“Me, too. Bob told me so much about you.”
Eve’s unease threatened to slide into panic. Surely Robert would have shown his friend pictures of Audrey and talked about her. She longed to run and hide but knew it would be the worst thing to do.
“And here—I brought a Christmas present for your son.” Tom handed Eve a lumpy, oversize leather glove with a red bow stuck to it. He must have noticed her puzzled expression because he quickly added, “It’s a baseball mitt.”
“Thank you. That’s very kind of you.”
“The glove comes with lessons from me on how to play catch.”
He seemed so earnest and genuine that Eve couldn’t help smiling. “Robbie is still a little young to throw a ball, Mr. Vandenberg—”
“It’s Tom. Please, call me Tom.”
“But it’s a lovely offer,” she said as she took the mitt from him. “Thank you.” Robbie reached for it, tugging on the bright-red bow.
“We all promised we’d take care of each other’s families after the war if anything happened to one of us. I visit Arnie and his folks whenever I can, help them out if they need it.”
This was Eve’s chance to ask about Louis, but she needed to take her time. “How is Arnie?”
“Not good. He was the last of us to come home, and he’s suffering some sort of shell shock. Barely talks, lives like a recluse.”
“Wasn’t he studying to be a veterinarian?”
“He could finish on the G.I. Bill, but he won’t leave his house. His parents say we should give him time.”
“He married a girl he met in Germany, didn’t he? I remember Robert saying I wouldn’t be the only war bride in town.”
“I don’t know what happened in Germany, and he won’t talk about it. Listen, I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you, moving so far from home. But I’d love to get to know you and Bob’s son, if you’ll let me. When he gets a little older, I can teach him to play all the sports that Bob and I used to play.” He reached out to ruffle Robbie’s hair. “So Bob had a redhead, huh? Louis is the one we always called Carrot Top.”
Eve felt her cheeks grow warm. She wanted to escape his scrutiny. Yet she was Audrey now. She needed to do what Audrey would do. “How is Louis? Does he still live in town? I haven’t seen him since we arrived.”
“He moved to New Rochelle to open a branch of his father’s insurance company. Couldn’t stand the small-town life after being abroad. I hardly ever see him. He was devastated when Bob died. We all were.”
“Would you like to come in and sit down, Tom?” she finally thought to ask.
“I can’t stay. I need to head home. But I also wanted to tell you that you’re welcome to come out to the farm whenever you want. I live in the country, just outside of town. Your son might enjoy seeing the animals or exploring the woods. Bob and I spent a lot of time playing in those woods when we were kids.”
Eve swallowed a knot of grief, longing to be a girl again, roaming the woods, running barefoot, climbing trees.
“Although maybe you don’t like the country,” Tom continued when she didn’t reply. “Bob said you were related to the king of England.”
“The king is a very distant relative,” Eve said, laughing. “And even he loves spending time in the country at Windsor Castle.”
“Well, our farm isn’t a palace, that’s for sure, but you’re welcome anytime. There’s a pond you can skate on, and we have a great toboggan hill behind the barn.”
“I would love that, Tom. Thank you.” She filed away the information for another day, knowing her soul might need the balm of forests and country hillsides.
“Well, I should be going.”
“Yes . . . well . . . thank you for coming, Tom. And for the Christmas present.”
“You’re welcome. I’ll see you around.” He gave a salute with his stocking cap and left. Eve closed the door behind him, able to breathe again.