“Maybe I shouldn’t have told him about the night he raped me… Maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut.”
“Listen to me,” Alice snaps, grabbing my face and directing my gaze toward her. “None of this was your fault. You were just another victim in a tornado of destruction that started damn near twenty years ago. I don’t want you blaming yourself.”
“Doesn’t really matter if I blame myself if Lucas does.”
Tate shakes her head. “No. He’s going through a whole heap of shit right now but there’s no way in hell that he blames you.”
“Exactly.”
“Then where is he, you two? He once said that being around me was the only thing that ever gave him any peace but now that he needs peace more than he ever has before, he’s not here. What does that tell you?”
“That he’s an idiot,” Tate argues, rolling her eyes. “All men are when it comes to serious shit like this. He doesn’t know how to fucking deal so he’s hiding out at the clubhouse and drinking himself into a stupor. Give him a few more days and he’ll realize that the thing he needs to ease some of his pain is the woman he loves and he’ll come running home.”
“I really wish I could believe that,” I whisper, gazing out at the front yard as tears well up in my eyes again. “But this feels like the end for us.”
Tate scoffs as she jumps up. “You know what, I’m going back to the clubhouse now to kick his ass some more and I’m going to remind you of this conversation on y’all’s wedding day. In fact, I might even do a whole speech about it.”
“I’ll help you write it,” Alice adds and Tate grins.
“Perfect. See y’all later.”
We watch her leave and as she car pulls out of the driveway, I sigh.
“You want to try watching a movie or something?” Alice asks and I shake my head, pulling the blanket tighter around me.
“No. I’m just going to sit out here a while longer.”
She sighs as she stands. “Tate’s right, you know. Lucas is coming back and you’re going to have to eat your words.”
“I admire your optimism.”
“Fine,” she grumbles. “Keep being stubborn but we’re right. You and Lucas have the kind of love that doesn’t die. I know it.”
“Anyone ever told you that love sometimes isn’t enough?” I ask, arching a brow in annoyance and she shakes her head.
“No. Love is everything, Quinn. And it’s going to bring Lucas back to you. Mark my word.”
I shake my head, tears welling up in my eyes again as I try to ignore the tiny little spark of hope in my heart. It’s dangerous and I can’t possibly afford to embrace it. Not when there’s still a huge possibility that I could lose everything.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Quinn
Alice eyes me skeptically as I stand up from the couch and toss the blanket back down on the cushion. “Are you sure you want to go into work again?”
“Yeah,” I answer with a sigh. “I can’t keep sitting around here, thinking about everything that happened. It will drive me crazy. Besides, Willa said that we’ve had a lot of interest after the charity gala so I’ll have plenty of work to keep me busy.”
“You don’t have to act so strong, Quinn. I know this is killing you.”
I shrug, tears welling up in my eyes. Turning away from her, I fight them back, unwilling to cry over this any more. “What other choice do I have? My daughter needs me and I have a business to run. It’s time to get back to real life.”
“So that’s it? You’re just giving up?”
“It’s been a week since Clay died, Al. How long am I supposed to wait?”
She scowls. “Just because you’re going back to work and getting back to your life doesn’t mean you have to give up on him. Give him more time.”
“It hurts too much. Each morning, I hope that today will be the day he shows up and then each night, I feel heartbroken all over again when he doesn’t show.”
“Have you thought about going to see him?”
I nod. “I have.”
“Then why haven’t you? For all we know, he’s sitting at the clubhouse thinking that you don’t want anything to do with him.”
I press my lips into a thin line and shake my head. “He knows.”
“How?”
“I’ve sent him a few messages, letting him know I was here if he wanted to talk.”
She smiles, hope filling her eyes. “And? Did he ever text you back?”
“No. Like I said, it’s time to move on.”
“Quinn,” she calls as I walk out of the room and I shake my head.
“Enough, Alice.”
She steps into the foyer, calling my name but I ignore her as I start up the stairs to shower and get ready for work. God, I don’t want to do this but I’m just hoping that if I force myself to go, it will slowly start to get better.
“Quinn!” Alice yells and my gaze jerks to her in the middle of the foyer. She’s staring out of the front window and I turn, gasping at the sight of Lucas standing in front of the stairs, looking up at the house. There are dark circles under his eyes and his t-shirt is wrinkled like he’s spent the last couple days in it, at least, but even in his sadness, he looks so damn handsome I could cry.
“What do you think he wants?” I ask and Alice scoffs.
“Only one way to find out.”
My heart thunders in my chest as I stare out the window and shake my head. “No, I can’t.”
“You have to,” Alice hisses. “This is what you’ve been waiting for.”
She runs into the living room and I suck in a breath as I watch him. He hasn’t moved from his place at the base of the stairs and it scares me that he hasn’t moved. Shit, what if he’s here to end things? Alice walks back in with the blanket I discarded on the couch and tosses it to me. I catch it, glancing down at my tank top and sleep shorts.
“Go talk to him.”
My belly flips as I nod and walk back down the stairs before throwing the blanket around my body. My heart races and my palms sweat as I stop in front of the door and suck in a breath.
“Whatever happens, Sis, it’s going to be okay.”
I nod, despite the pit in my stomach. “Right.”
“You can do this,” she whispers and I nod again, gripping both edges of the blanket in one hand as I take a deep breath and open the door.
Lucas’s gaze flicks to mine and my knees almost buckle as I step out onto the porch, closing the door behind me.
“Hi, Lucas,” I whisper, my hands trembling violently.
“Hey, baby,” he answers, a hint of a smile teasing his lips and I swallow a little bit of my fear as I take another step toward him.
“What are you doing here?”
He drops his head. “I suppose I deserve that.”
“No, you don’t…I just… I don’t know what else to say…”
He nods in understanding as he slowly walks up the three steps between us. When he stops in front of me and meets my gaze, I gasp at the tears shining in his eyes. “This past week has been one of the absolute worst of my life. I’ve been drunk off my ass, fighting with anyone who tried to help me, and angry at the whole damn world. It wasn’t until last night that I realized the thing I needed the most to make me feel better was the one thing I was avoiding.”