I nod in acknowledgement but it’s the best I can give him right now.
“And what was this Smith was telling me about you leaving her?”
I shrug. “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. One minute I want to find Biche and kill him as slowly and painfully as possible and the next I’m thinking Kady is better off without me in her life.”
“Dude,” Storm whispers, shaking his head.
“Well, enough of that shit,” Blaze snaps. “You were single minded as you hunted her down, she was the only thing that mattered to you so you’re not going to turn your back on her now. Not that I’m even sure you could. As for Biche, we will find a way to deal with this monster.”
I stand up and shove my chair back as I meet his eyes, unable to stand anymore of this conversation. “Good because if you don’t, I will. You can count on that.”
Chapter Fifteen
Kady
“Hey,” Noah says, walking out of the bedroom as he tucks his phone in his pocket. I glance up from my book. “Blaze just called and I guess they’re having an impromptu get together in a little bit. Do you want to go?”
Pursing my lips, I stare at him for a second before nodding. “Okay.”
I was never really a fan of the club in the past but Noah swears that they’ve changed and I’m not opposed to giving them a chance to prove that. They have been helpful with this whole Biche thing if Smith showing up here bright and early this morning to install cameras and motion sensors around the entire property are any indication of how things are now. If they are anything like Blaze described them all those years ago when Noah first joined, I would be proud to have them in my life but I need proof first.
“What time are we going to head over?”
He shrugs as he sinks into the couch next to me. “Blaze said he’s throwing the burgers on the grill in an hour but we can head over anytime.”
“Okay, do you want to go now then?”
“Whatever, Kady.”
Frowning, I study him as he stares down at his lap, wishing I could take it all back and silently imploring him to talk to me. I knew telling him everything would upset him but I’ve never seen him like this. I even woke up in the middle of the night and he was just gone. I sat up for an hour, waiting for him and worrying, before I passed out again and when I woke up this morning, he was back. I don’t know where he went or what he did but he hasn’t said anything about any of it and if I could do something to fix it, I would. Finally, after it’s clear that he’s not going to say anything, I sigh.
“Okay, well, give me five minutes to get ready and then we can go, okay?”
“‘Kay.”
I shove off the couch and walk back to the bedroom on the verge of tears, wondering if Noah and I can truly get through this. He told me so many times how he and I were destined for each other but he didn’t know the truth then. He didn’t know about Thomas. Dropping my hands to my belly, tears sting my eyes as the only image I have of my baby boy fills my mind. He was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen and his angry cry as I held him in my arms completely stole my heart. I sink to the bed as the tears begin to fall. It’s been so long since I’ve even allowed myself to think about him because it causes me so much pain and I don’t know how I would get out of bed most days if I didn’t block it out.
“Baby?” Noah asks, charging into the room and as soon as he sees me crying on the bed, he freezes. We stare at each other for a moment before his face crumples. He kneels in front of me and pulls me into his arms.
“I’m so sorry,” I whisper and he jerks back.
“What the hell are you sorry for?”
I wipe the tears from my cheeks as I struggle to catch my breath. “I…I don’t know. I just hate seeing you this upset.”
“Gorgeous,” he murmurs, cupping my cheek as he shakes his head. “I’m upset because I’m so damn angry at myself that I don’t even know how to look at you. I’m so fucking sorry.”
“You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”
He shakes his head again, leaning his forehead against mine as he closes his eyes. “I never should have challenged him the way I did. God, I was such an arrogant son of a bitch and I’ve taken everything from you, the one woman I love more than anything else on this earth.”
“Noah,” I breathe, pulling back to meet his gaze. “You haven’t taken anything from me and there’s no way you could have known how completely unhinged he was. Could you have been a little less cocky? Sure but none of this is your fault.”
“If I hadn’t…”
I press my finger to his lips, silencing him. “If you had known the consequences of the things you were doing then, if you had known that Oliver would go crazy and do what he did, you never would have gone up against him. I know that.”
“I still don’t know how you can look at me,” he whispers, dropping his gaze to the floor and my heart aches as I guide his eyes back to mine and smile.
“Because I love you. Always have and always will. We’re destined, right?”
He scoffs. “I’m beginning to think we’re fated… and not in a good way.”
“Stop it,” I snap and he blinks in surprise. “I don’t know who you are right now but you’re going to snap out of it and I don’t ever want to hear you talk about us like that again.”
“Kady,” he sighs, grabbing my hand and bringing it to his lips before he drops it and stands up. “Just let it go.”
“No, I’m not…”
“You about ready?” he asks, interrupting me. “We should get going.”
I open my mouth to argue with him but he turns and leaves the room before I can even get a word out. Watching the doorway, I wait for him to turn around, come back, and tell me that he’s sorry but he doesn’t. I bite back a sob as a few tears slip down my cheeks. Yeah, Noah and I like to argue but this is different. This feels like I’m about to lose everything all over again and my heart feels like it’s being shattered. More tears assault me as I brace my hands on the edge of the bed next to me and take a deep breath, trying to get my emotions under control.
How in the hell am I suppose to go to a party right now when I feel like Noah is drifting away from me?
My head drops back. I stare up at the ceiling, pain snaking through my body like a disease - insidious and deadly - and I fight back tears as questions that I can’t answer keep popping into my mind. Questions that, depending on the answer, could thrust my life into a whole new level of hell - one where I have to live without the only boy I’ve ever loved.
“Kady, let’s go,” he calls from the living room and I suck in a breath as I stand up and wipe the tears from my face. As much as I don’t want to go, I can’t give up yet. I haven’t lost him yet and I won’t go down without a fight.
With new resolve, I change my clothes in record time - rocking my red jeans, a white tank top, black heels, and the black leather jacket that Noah got me when he first joined the club. It’s been in the back of the closet collecting dust for the past seven years but it seems like a fitting time to break it out again.