He crosses the room until he’s inches from me, pain clouding his green eyes. “Just say it, Kady,” he spits. “Say you blame me for being kidnapped, raped, and for losing our son.” He grabs my face in his hands. “Open your mouth and say what we both already know.”
“No,” I hiss, ripping my face from his grip. “I won’t say it because I don’t blame you.”
“Liar.”
I shriek and grab his t-shirt in my fists, shaking him. “Will you just listen to me? I don’t blame you!”
“I don’t believe you,” he growls, wrapping his fingers around my wrist and prying them off his shirt. “We both know if you would have never met me, this would have never happened to you.”
“We don’t know that. Oliver had his eye on me before you ever came along. Or did you forget that part?”
“Whatever,” he snaps, releasing me and turning back to the kitchen.
“Don’t walk away from me, Noah.”
He pauses for a moment before he continues into the kitchen and grabs a beer out of the fridge. As he opens it and takes a drink, he turns back to me.
“I was really angry for a really long time,” I tell him, hoping I can find a way to break through this stony exterior he’s adopted. “But maybe I blamed you for not listening to me when I asked you to leave the club but I never, not once, blamed you for anything Oliver did to me.”
“Stop lying.”
“I’m not!”
He scoffs and turns away from me, shaking his head.
“I don’t blame you, Noah,” I say again, hoping if he hears them enough times, maybe he’ll finally start to believe the words. He whirls back around, his eyes blazing, and slams the can of beer on the counter.
“Why not?! You have every right to blame me! Every single fucking decision I’ve made since the moment I met you led to all the horrible shit you went through! It’s all my goddamn fault!” he yells, his voice on the brink of breaking and my chest aches as tears sting my eyes. I take a step toward him and he takes another one back. I barely hold back a sob.
“So, what do you want to do? How can we fix this because you bulldozed your way back into my life and now I’m not willing to let you go.”
He shakes his head. “I should just leave. Maybe if I run far away from here, far away from you, you’ll finally be able to be happy one day.”
“That’s what you want?” I spit, pain pulsing through me at the thought of him leaving me. How can he really think this is any kind of solution? He sighs and meets my eyes as he nods.
“Yeah, that’s what I want.”
I stumble back, almost as if he hit me but it’s just the force of his words knocking me off balance and my chest tightens as I struggle to suck in a breath.
“You want to leave me?”
He nods. “I do. We’re obviously not good for each other and this was inevitable.”
“Inevitable?” I breathe, my mind racing to reconcile the man in front of me with the man I fell in love with so many years ago. Right before my eyes, he’s changed if he really thinks that he and I are no good for each other. Noah, my Noah, would never let anything get in between us. Anger bleeds into the pain of his words, each one fueling the other until it feels like I might implode and I look up at him, my hands shaking.
“Leave, then.”
He blinks. “What?”
“I said leave!” I scream, tears streaming down my face as I point to the front door. Our eyes lock and time stands still and I hold my breath as I wait for his next move. Our respective pain and anger at this fucked up situation only seems to grow as we stare at each other, intertwining and becoming its own beast, ferocious and out for vengeance. My heart thunders in my chest.
“Fine,” he growls, marching through the kitchen and pushing me aside as he makes his way to the front door. My eyes widen as I take a step back.
He’s really doing this?
You know what, I’m done with this shit.
Why would I even want him if he’s willing to give up so damn easily? If he’s just going to walk away from me?
“Fine!” I scream after him, anger fueling my words as my face flushes. When he reaches the front door, he throws it open so hard that it smashes into the wall and cracks the drywall as he kicks open the screen door and stomps outside to his truck. Panting, I charge toward the door and slam my fist into it. “Don’t you come back here, Noah LeBlanc! If you walk away from me now, it’s the last goddamn time!”
He stops in the middle of the driveway but doesn’t turn back to the house and my heart sinks like a stone. Even through our screaming, I hold onto hope that he will change his mind, that his love for me will rise above all the pain and anger he’s feeling right now but I guess not. My throat burns from all the screaming and I turn away from the door, unable to watch him drive away. A sob barrels through me and my knees buckle as I reach for the back of the chair and grasp it like it’s a life raft and right now, it kind of is. My stomach churns as I suck in a stuttered breath and try to stop the tears as I turn and press my back up against the wall next to me. My eyes close and I let the pain my anger had been keeping at bay envelope me completely, robbing the air from my lungs and stalling my heart as it becomes a part of me, embedding the loss of Noah into my very DNA.
The screen door creaks and I open my eyes, gasping as Noah charges through the living room on a straight path to me, his eyes wild. We crash together and his hands cup my face as he pulls my lips to his, kissing me like he can’t breathe without me and I cling to him, my mind racing and my heart thumping.
“Can’t fucking walk away from you,” he growls into my kiss. “Not even if it’s what is best for you and if that makes me a bastard, so be it.”
A sob bubbles out of me as I grab at his shirt. “Noah.”
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, peppering kisses down my cheek to my neck. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
“Please don’t ever leave me again.”
He pulls back to force my gaze to his. “Never. I promise you, Kady.”
“I love you.”
“Fuck, I love you, too, baby,” he says, pulling me back to his lips as his hands grab my ass and he lifts me into the air. Moaning, I wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist as he starts carrying me down the hallway to the bedroom, not once letting his lips leave mine as we kiss each other like we can’t get enough.
When we get to the bedroom, he lays me on my back in the middle of the bed and leans over me, his kisses growing softer, more intimate, as his hands trace my curves. His tongue tangles with mine as he hooks his fingers into the waistband of my leggings and when he pulls away to pull them down my legs, I whimper at the loss.
God, I need him.
Now.
I can’t remember the last time I felt this desperate but right now, I need him to prove to me that everything is okay between us. I need to know that we’re going to make it.
Once my leggings and panties are in a pile on the floor, he reaches out for my hand and I let him pull me up into a sitting position. He smiles, one of those special smiles that he saves just for me, and it’s like I’m seeing the sunshine for the first time in days.