It doesn’t make any sense.
Sawyer walks into the kitchen and comes back a few seconds later with a beer in his hand before he sits in the chair across from me and nods. “Time to start talking, angel.”
I nod.
“Why don’t we start with who hired that P.I. out front?”
Wincing, I shake my head. “Can we start with something else?”
“Like?” he asks, arching a brow. His gaze is hard and the longer he stares at me, the more I see him shutting down and throwing up walls to block out the pain he thinks I’m going to cause him. God, why didn’t I just tell him the truth from the beginning? Would he really have treated me differently? I suck in a breath as I wring my hands together.
“Do you remember when I told you that my dad just passed away in a car accident?”
He nods. “Yeah.”
“Well, I was in that accident, too…”
“What?” he whispers, concern flashing in his eyes as he studies me. “Why would you lie about that?”
“Because it put me in a coma for a week and when I woke up, I was missing the last five years of my memories.”
His entire body freezes and his eyes widen. “Are you serious?”
I nod.
“Again, why wouldn’t you tell me that?”
“Because I had no idea who I was supposed to be and I didn’t want you to treat me differently. Then, once we started getting to know each other, I was just scared.”
He sucks in a breath and scrubs his hand over his face. “What about now? Can you remember anything from your past?”
“Not really, no.”
Blowing out a breath, he leans forward and shakes his head. “What does that mean?”
“Well, you know that dinner I made you the night you got drunk?”
He nods.
“Apparently, I learned that in a cooking class with Mercedes in Miami. I remember the recipe but I don’t remember the class at all.”
Sighing, he rubs his temple with his fingertips. “Anything else you remember?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Right,” he scoffs, bringing his beer to his lips and chugging half of it before turning to look at me again with narrowed eyes. “How does that lead us to the man following you around?”
My heart hammers out of control and my stomach rolls as I suck in a breath. “When I woke up in the hospital, there was a man there. I didn’t recognize him but he told me that he… was my fiancé.”
“You’re engaged?” he roars, jumping up from his chair and I shake my head as tears prick my eyes.
“No. I was engaged in my old life and before I left Miami, I broke things off with him but as you can see, he’s not exactly taking no for an answer.”
“Jesus Christ,” he hisses as he begins pacing in front of me and running his hand through his hair. “Is there anything else you’re lying to me about?”
I wince and he stops.
“What?”
A tear slips down my cheek and I quickly wipe it away. “Have you ever heard of O’Shaw Records?”
“Of course,” he answers, flashing me a blank look before it fades to recognition. “Holy shit. Are you telling me that you’re the Shaw in O’Shaw Records?”
“No. My dad was.”
“Holy fuck!” he exclaims as he resumes his pacing and I resist the urge to burst into tears. This is so much harder than I thought it would be and it kills me to see the pain in his eyes from my deception. I shouldn’t have lied. My teeth sink into my lip as I stare at my hands and another tear slips down my cheek.
“Sawyer…” I whisper and he barely glances at me as he passes by me and turns to go back the other way again before he stops and throws his body back in the chair. Leaning forward, he braces his elbows on his knees.
“I’m fucking terrified to ask but anything else?”
I shake my head. “Not unless you’re concerned with my net worth.”
He balks. “I didn’t even think about that... it’s a lot, isn’t it?”
“Yes.” There’s no point in beating around the bush anymore. If I’m going to tell him the truth, then I’m going to tell him everything.
“How much?”
I open my mouth to respond when he holds his hand up and shakes his head.
“You know what… I don’t want to know.”
My fingers twitch with the urge to reach out and touch him but I know I can’t bring him any comfort right now. “Are you sure you don’t want to know?”
He scoffs. “Am I sure? No, I’m not sure about anything anymore. I can’t decide if I should believe you or if there is still more you’re hiding.”
“I’m putting everything out on the table, Sawyer. I want to build a future with you.”
He falls back in his chair and shakes his head. “I just don’t know if I can do that anymore.”
“What?” I whisper, my heart stalling as tears burn my eyes. He meets my gaze and pain shines back at me, amplifying my own.
“I think I need some time to think about all this.”
A weight settles into my stomach and my chest aches as I nod. “Okay…”
“Go get your things and I’ll drive you over to the clubhouse. They have some rooms you can crash in until you figure something else out,” he says, refusing to look at me and it would have been kinder if he punched me in the gut. Nodding, I push off the couch and practically run to the guest bedroom where I’ve been staying before shutting the door and gasping for air as the tears run down my face.
I knew he would be upset.
I knew he would be mad.
But I had hoped that we had built something strong enough to withstand this. Guess I was wrong.
Through my tears, I throw all my clothes back into my bag before going into the attached bathroom and tossing everything I can find in my toiletries bag. I toss it on top of my other bag as I plop down on the edge of the bed and sob into a pillow. Memories from the past week and a half play out in my mind and I struggle to breathe as the tears refuse to let up. The thought of sitting next to him in the truck as he drives me to a hotel sounds like torture and I know I can’t do it. Tossing the pillow aside, I try to wipe the tears from my face as I pull my phone out of my pocket and text Mercedes.
Me:
911. I need you.
I barely set the phone down on the bed next to me when it starts ringing and I suck in a breath as I answer it.
“Hello?”
“What’s going on?” she asks, her voice panicked and my bottom lip wobbles as I try to keep it together.
“I need you to come get me.”
“Why? What happened?”
I press my fingers into my forehead. “Please, Mer. I promise to tell you everything, just not right this second.”
“You at Sawyer’s house?”
“Yes.”
“I’m on my way.”
After hanging up, I toss the phone on the bed next to me and brace my hands on either side of my body as I wonder if this is truly the end for Sawyer and me. He said he needed time to think but I can’t help but think what he really needed was to get me out of his house so it would be easier to end things with me. Closing my eyes, I remember our first kiss on the front porch and my chest burns, pain rushing over me like a tidal wave.