I arch a brow. “Our date?”
“Yeah, ‘cause I’ve talked to a couple other guys on the site who were looking for something different than I was and I don’t want to waste my time, ya know?”
My stomach sinks as I nod. “And what is it that you’re looking for?”
“A good time. I mean, I’m only twenty-four and I’m certainly not ready to settle down anytime soon.”
“Oh,” I mutter, trying not to grimace as my mood plummets. “Unfortunately, we are looking for different things.”
She purses her lips. “I was afraid of that… but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a good time together until you find what you’re looking for, does it?”
“Actually, it does. I’m sorry and I hope you find what you need,” I say as I stand and grab my coffee and muffin from the table. Between my sour mood earlier and the disappointment coursing through me now, I don’t have the patience for anymore of this. I nod at her, ignoring the shocked expression on her face, before turning and walking out of the cafe. After tossing my stuff in a trash posted right outside the door, I pull my phone out of my pocket and open the dating app. This was a bad idea from the jump and I never should have let Smith talk me into going on this date. In the settings menu, my thumb hovers over the delete account button as a message pops up on the screen from a woman named Violet and I pause, studying her photo.
Again, what the hell is wrong with me?
Apparently, I am a glutton for punishment because instead of deleting the account like I damn well know I should, I open her message and reply.
Chapter Four
Piper
“Pip-Squeak!” Eden calls as the door to my apartment opens. “You home?”
I poke my head out of my bedroom on the second level and glare at her as she pulls her keys out of the lock and shuts the door behind her before turning to me. “How many times have I asked you not to call me that?”
“Dunno. Why don’t you try a few more?” She shrugs as she walks into my apartment and sets her purse down on the kitchen table before waving the thick folder in her hand. “Come down. I have something to show you.”
“Fine,” I grumble. She drops the file onto the table with a thud as I walk down the stairs and I arch a brow. What the hell is in that file? She turns and walks into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. Since the day we met, we’ve always had an open door policy with each other when it came to our apartments and most days, I absolutely love it but I didn’t sleep well last night, haunted by nightmares, and my patience is wearing thin today.
“What’s with the briefcase?” I ask, nodding to the file as we meet at the kitchen table. She takes a sip of her water before grinning at me.
“Sit down and I’ll show you.”
“You’re so damn bossy,” I grumble as I pull the chair closest to me out and plop down in it. She sits across from me, flips the file open, folds her hands together, and flashes me a look that honestly terrifies me a little.
“What the hell are you up to?”
She grins. “Do you remember last week when we talked about you having a baby?”
“Um… I remember saying I would think about it.”
“Perfect,” she replies, slapping her hand on the table in front of me before grabbing the top paper off of the stack and placing it in front of me. “We’re thinking about it.”
Arching a brow, I pick up the paper and roll my eyes. The title is “Your Reproductive Health and Your Growing Family” and I don’t need to read anymore. “Are you kidding me? Is that whole folder about having a baby?”
“Yes. I found lots of good information on the internet.”
Jesus take the wheel…
“Edie… I think this is a little premature. I haven’t even decided if I’m going to do this yet.”
She scowls at me as she slaps another paper down in front of me. “But how can you decide without all the information?”
“With my heart?” I ask, squinting because I know that is never going to fly and she scoffs before slapping another paper down in front of me.
“Read.”
“You’re not going to let this go, are you?”
She shakes her head and I sigh as I grab the latest paper she put in front of me. Scanning the headline, I turn to her with narrowed eyes.
“I am not over thirty,” I say, shaking the paper all about how fertility starts declining after thirty. “I’m twenty-nine, Eden.”
Shrugging, she takes a sip of her water. “Close enough. Your birthday is next month and you can’t be too prepared.”
“I’m not doing this.” I drop the paper on the table and scoot my chair back, ready to get up and go back to what I was doing before Eden barged in but she reaches out and grabs my hand, stopping me. I meet her gaze. “What?”
“Just read the information, Piper. You need to know this stuff before you make your decision.”
I shake my head. “Why? Why do I need to know all this stuff?”
“What if you decide you want to have a baby and then start researching only to realize you can’t for one reason or another? Then your heart is going to be broken and I don’t want to see you get hurt so read,” she orders, pointing to the paper in front of me and I scoop it up.
“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this shit,” I whisper, thumbing through the papers Eden shoved in my hands. I eye the large stack of papers still in the file as I blow out a breath. She may claim that she wants me to consider the possibility but considering the massive amount of information on alternative ways to get pregnant in this folder, I would say she has moved past the “let’s think about this” phase. I read through the three pieces of paper and just before I finish the final one, she sets a stack down in front of me. Looking up at her, I sigh. Am I really going to let Eden talk me into this? This is insane and without the husband and the family, is this really what I want? Closing my eyes, an image of a baby pops into my mind and warmth spreads through my chest and a smile crosses my face. No, I definitely do want to have a baby but doing it alone isn’t exactly the dream I had for myself.
On the night of our wedding, Wyatt and I drove out to the river where he proposed and talked for hours about everything we wanted, the life we wanted to build together, and our dreams for the future. Having a couple kids running around the house was at the top of that list and even though we’re not together, even thinking about doing this without him feels a little bit like I’m betraying him. Back when we were together, I used to dream about the day I could finally tell him that I was pregnant, that we were starting a family together. Now, as I think about doing this by myself, his absence in my life and in this whole process is immense. I suppose that’s nothing new though. Since the day I left, I’ve carried around this huge gaping hole where my heart used to be but it’s just something I have to live with now. I made so many mistakes and I can’t ever take them back.
“Hello?! Earth to Piper!” Eden says and I blink as I meet her eyes.
“Huh?”
Her eyes roll back in her head. “I asked you what you thought.”