“You need a hobby.”
She grins at me. “I have one and you’re looking at it.”
“Have you ever thought about crochet or something?” I ask, leaning back and crossing my arms over my chest. She shakes her head as she grabs her drink and takes a sip.
“No. Maybe I’ll look into it when this mission is finished.”
I roll my eyes at her but the waitress returns to our table to drop off our dinners before I can say anything else and I decide to let it go. Hopefully Eden has developed some boundaries since her last little meddling episode but I’m not holding my breath.
Chapter Fifteen
Piper
An early autumn wind ruffles my hair as I smile and wave at Eden and Lillian parked on the curb, watching me carefully. Eden arches a brow and I roll my eyes as I turn to my front door. She always has this thing where she has to see me, at least, open the front door before she feels comfortable leaving me and while it’s sweet, sometimes I would prefer not to have an audience while I fumble with my keys. The rest of the dinner passed quickly with a lot of sangrias for me and plenty of laughs between the three of us and it was nice to forget about my problems for a while. Or forget about them as much as I can. Anytime there was a lull in the conversation or I was bored with the current topic, my mind would wander back to my new issues with Wyatt. Although, tonight I had the added bonus of painful memories from the past waiting in the wings to ambush me as soon as I let my guard down. Shaking my head, I push those thoughts from my mind as I finally find the right key and shove it into the lock.
Once I get the door open, I turn back to them and wave again. Eden flashes me a satisfied smile as they return the gesture and she pulls away from the curb. I wouldn’t say I’m super drunk right now but I’m definitely in no shape to drive myself home either. I was just going to take a cab but Eden insisted that she was giving me a ride home while Lillian followed behind us in my car so I would be able to get myself to work in the morning. Glancing over at my car in the driveway, I smile. You know… when she’s not being too nosy for her own damn good, I’m really glad I have Eden in my life. And Lillian, too. Honestly, I don’t know where I would be without the two of them. They know when I just need some space and when I need them to push me and as angry as I was with Eden for going behind my back and talking to Wyatt, I’m not entirely convinced that it was a mistake.
Stumbling through the front door, I toss my keys onto the table next to me and shut the door before making sure it’s locked three times as the damn memories threaten to bombard me again. Shaking my head, I check the lock one last time and promise myself that I’m not going to let them beat me today.
As I walk into the living room, I kick off my heels and breathe a sigh of relief. My thoughts turn to Wyatt as I peel my jacket off and toss it on the floor before heading for the stairs. I didn’t want to admit it to her or even myself but Eden was right when she said everything I’ve been dreaming of for the past ten years is staring me in the face and I just have to be brave enough to reach out and grab it. I just wish it was that easy. God, I don’t know how to tell Wyatt the truth… It’s not a time in my life I’m particularly proud of and I can’t imagine how painful it will be to see him react with disgust to the news. Not that he will, for sure, but… he might. And that kills me.
When I reach the bottom of the stairs, I pull my t-shirt over my head and toss it onto the floor before looking back. I’m usually pretty neat when it comes to my home and my things but I have just enough alcohol flowing through my system that all I want is to put on my oldest, comfiest t-shirt and fall into my bed. Staring at the mess, I release a breath and shrug.
Whatever.
I’ll deal with it in the morning.
Turning back to the stairs, I reach for the button of my jeans and grab my phone out of the back pocket before I start shoving them down my legs and by the time I get to the top, I’m kicking them off behind me. The last thing off is my bra and I smile as I step into my bedroom and grab the old Marines t-shirt I stole from Wyatt off of the bed and slip it over my head. The moon shines through the large window, casting a blue glow on the entire room as I set my phone on the bedside table and fall back into the mattress, a content sigh slipping through my lips.
Oh, this is exactly what I needed.
I close my eyes but as soon as I do, those damn memories that have been stalking me all night are right there in the front of my mind and my heart starts to beat a little faster. I reach up and trace the scar along my neck. Tears well up in my eyes as the memory pushes forward, demanding my attention and I know it’s going to be a rough night.
No.
No.
No.
Shaking my head, I open my eyes and stare up at the ceiling fan above me but it doesn’t matter if my eyes are closed or not, the pain of my past will not be ignored tonight. Closing my eyes again, I see my childhood home, just the way it always was before a dark cloud drowned out the light and a tear streaks down the side of my face and I suck in a stuttered breath. Every moment of that night is seared into my memory, so much so that it’s become part of my identity, a piece of my very DNA and it seems I have no choice but to relive it now. My eyes snap open and I stop fighting, letting the memory and the pain that always accompanies it, wash over me.
Crash!
My eyes pop open and I squint into the darkness, confusion filling me as I try to place the sound. Someone screams from downstairs and it takes me a second to realize it’s my mother. My heart kicks in my chest and my tummy twists as I shove the covers off my legs and hug my teddy bear to my chest.
“Mama?” I call out as I slip from the bed, my legs shaking like crazy. The silence is dominating and tears fill my eyes as I tiptoe across my room and pull the door open just enough to peek out into the hallway. “Mama?”
Something doesn’t feel right…
Sucking in a breath, I remember Daddy telling me that sometimes it’s important to be brave and I open the door further, clutching my bear as I step out into the hallway and glance toward the faint glow coming from downstairs.
“It’s probably nothing,” I tell myself as I walk to the top of the stairs, careful not to step on the board that creaks as my heart beats faster, crashing into my rib cage. As I start down the stairs, I want to call out for my mom again but something tells me not to and I decide to listen to that little voice in my head.
“Please!” Mama screams and I freeze halfway down the steps, each breath punching out of me. “Don’t do this! Take whatever you want.”
Squeezing my eyes shut, I bury my face in my teddy bear’s tummy and wait. My imagination takes over, dreaming up all kinds of monsters that could be lurking downstairs. Mama screams again but it sounds different this time and when she stops, the house is quiet again. Too quiet. Opening my eyes, I take a deep breath, trying so hard to be brave as I start down the stairs again. When I reach the bottom, I turn toward the living room and a gasp catches in my throat. The giant figure standing next to chunks of wood that I think used to be the coffee table turns and his gaze lands on me. I can hear my heart in my ears and it’s hard to breathe as I stare up at him, my body going cold as his blue eyes roam over my body.
Oh, God.
I need to run.