Her sister stared at her for a moment, then nodded. ‘Okay. Yes. I’m happy to take them, but Matt will have to keep an eye on Ezra, because you know Ez hates going to the football. And it depends what comes up at work, but it should be okay.’
Sara gave her a grateful smile. ‘It’s just a one-off.’
It’s not, though, is it? she thought as she went upstairs and pulled off her damp clothes before getting in the shower. Lying to her sister felt horrible. What’s it going to be like lying to Matt? She scrubbed at her skin, turned the water a little hotter, as if that would scald the thought from her mind.
She considered Matt’s behaviour. He was being a bit secretive, shut away in his office. And she’d been sure she’d heard someone – a woman – leave late the night before. The idea that he was having an affair resurfaced and scratched at her skin as she dried herself, rubbing harder as if that would remove all trace of her doubts.
He wouldn’t, she told herself. He wouldn’t put his family life at risk. It was as sacred to him as it was to her, of that she was sure. But his comments that morning couldn’t be ignored, and now she wondered if she was right. Basically, he was questioning whether he wanted to be in a relationship with her if she didn’t play by his rules. Wasn’t that what he’d said? And that felt harsh. Very harsh. It also made her wonder if he had an alternative future lined up for himself. Is that what he’s working on now? And wasn’t it strange that he went back out to his office the minute she got home? Like he’s avoiding me.
With her thoughts completely scrambled, she got herself dressed and headed back downstairs, where she found Hailey in the kitchen making mugs of tea.
‘Is everything okay?’ she asked, pouring milk into the mugs. ‘It’s just you seem a little… fraught.’
Sara leant against the worktop and let out a big sigh, which said it all really, without the need for words. Hailey came and gave her a hug, murmuring into her hair, ‘It’s just a tricky patch, that’s all. You’ve got to trust Matt to come through in the end. He will, Sara. He’s determined. We had quite a chat tonight.’
Sara sank into the hug, laying her head on her sister’s shoulder. ‘I just feel like I’m losing everything. Even the kids don’t seem to notice me any more. I’m out at work all day, then I’ve got to catch up with the housework at night and all the other stuff that goes with running a house and having three kids. I mean, the paperwork just for school is ridiculous. Then there’s dentist’s appointments and play dates and sleepovers and friends’ birthdays and…’ She took a deep breath, anxiety mounting, her voice rising with it, as she listed everything. ‘Then on top of that I’ve got stuff to remember for work and I just don’t think I’m doing well at any of it.’
Hailey rubbed her back. ‘You’re doing great, honestly you are. Maybe this evening out next week is just what you need. I know it’s a training course, but enjoy the social after and don’t worry what time you get back. Just be you, instead of a mum and wife and housekeeper and administrator.’ She squeezed her a little tighter, gave her a kiss on the cheek then pulled away, one hand lingering on her shoulder as she looked her in the eye. ‘I’ll make sure I can take the girls. Honestly, don’t you worry.’
Sara covered Hailey’s hand with her own. ‘Thanks, I needed that.’ She studied her sister’s face. ‘I was wondering… Your conversation with Matt… did he mention anything…’ She hesitated, then decided while Hailey was in a supportive mood, she could do with a bit more reassurance. ‘It’s just we had a row this morning, and I’ve had this feeling… Well, I heard a woman’s voice in his office last night. I’m sure of it. Then he was late coming to bed and the window was open and I thought I heard her again. Outside. I heard the gate clang shut. I had a look but couldn’t see anything.’
Hailey looked a little startled. ‘What? You’re not still worrying about that, are you? I can remember a similar conversation about him working late and you thinking he had someone else, but it turned out to be nothing. Do you remember, you had me following him from work?’
Sara nodded, heat creeping into her cheeks. Perhaps I am imagining it.
‘You’re just feeling a bit unsettled, which is natural with all the changes, but I don’t think you’ve anything to worry about. He’s a straight arrow, is Matt.’ Hailey picked up her tea while she carried on talking. ‘As far as I can tell, he’s still upset that he lost his job. Feels he’s let you all down, but he’s determined to make this business a success.’ She looked at Sara. ‘Honestly, I’ve never seen him so fired up and passionate about anything. And he loves the fact he gets to spend time with his kids.’
Sara picked up her mug and took a sip, letting her sister’s words settle in her mind. She was right. Maybe she had heard the woman in her dreams the previous night and thought she was real. That was very possible.
Her mind was being devious, deflecting attention from herself. If anything was going to tear the family apart, it was her own actions. She would be the one to blame.
Chapter Sixteen
The next day, James came into the office to drop off some figures he’d been working on for the new project.
‘I wonder if you could ask Fiona to run her eye over these when she’s in later.’ He held out a file. ‘Deadline’s on Monday and she’s getting twitchy. You know what she’s like. Has to dot every i and cross every t herself. But I’ve got all the supporting documents together, so I think we’re about there.’
Sara had work to do on the project herself and was reminded now that she needed to push it up her list of tasks. ‘No problem,’ she said, and took the file from him, slapping it on the desk on top of the other papers.
James cocked his head, looked at her. ‘Things any better today? You still look a little peaky.’
She caught his eye and sighed. He sat down on the other side of the desk and she looked away, gathering up the invoices she’d been sorting out. ‘Everything’s okay for next Thursday, if that’s what you’re worried about.’
‘I’m worried about you, actually.’
She glanced at him and saw genuine concern in his eyes. Those very blue eyes, which held her in their steady gaze as she tried to work out what she was feeling, what was pulling at her insides, making her want to reach out to him.
‘Look, I never meant to cause trouble,’ he said gently. ‘I’ve only ever wanted to help you. That’s all.’ He gave her a quick grin. ‘Tell you what. How about I take you out to lunch? I need to brief you for next Thursday anyway, and it’ll do you good to get out of the office.’
Sara gave a brisk shake of her head. ‘Sorry, I don’t think I’ve got time.’ She indicated the piles of paperwork on her desk. ‘I’ve got all the project application forms to go through. Not to mention getting the monthly accounts ready for Julia. She’s coming in with Fiona tonight. They’re having a working supper, so I’ve got to organise food for them as well.’ Her voice sounded as weary as she felt.