Despite what I told myself when Sam first asked me to dance, I hate knowing I put that look on his face.
I think back on my conversation with my mom earlier, how she brought up wanting to set up Merric with one of Penelope’s friends. The thought of him going home with one of them or even seeing him dancing with someone else makes my heart clench in my chest. I don’t want to see it, even if it is an innocent dance.
Look at where we are together and who he is to me. Being honest with myself, though, does any of it concern me?
No, it doesn’t. I’ve had a crush on Merric since I was seventeen years old. Even over the years, as we’ve both gotten older, my attraction toward him has never lessened. If anything, it’s only grown like a slow burn I’ve never been able to tamp down.
I eye him as Aunt Tina wraps her arms around him in a hug, and he returns the gesture. I bite down on the edge of my lip, watching as his arms encircle her. Merric has never been an affectionate person, and I can understand why. Maxwell wasn’t either, although my mom tended to bring out that side in him just like she did with everyone.
He nods toward her, stepping back as he motions toward me out on the dance floor. He must’ve mentioned my name as she turns, her eyes roaming over the dance floor before she finds me. She waves, turning back to pat Merric on the shoulder, saying goodbye. He offers an easy smile before stalking toward me, and his expression changes as he does.
My mind filters through any signs of what he might be thinking. They all go out the window when he slips into the crowd, his eyes never breaking contact until he approaches me.
He clears his throat, interrupting us. Sam turns, Merric looking to him and back to me and says, “Oaklyn, would you mind if I cut in?”
Sam’s brows furrow, glancing between us, waiting for my response.
“Of course.” I flash Sam a warm smile. “Thank you for the dance. It was great chatting with you.”
He exhales harshly, stalking away.
“Look what you did. You broke the poor fool’s heart.” Merric chuckles, slipping his arm around my waist, pulling me toward him. The distance separating the two of us is noticeably different compared to my dance with Sam.
“What I did? How is any of this my fault?”
“What did you expect would happen when I saw you dancing with him? Did you honestly believe I wouldn’t want my turn?”
I wince, pulling back to stare at him.
“Uhm… well, actually I did. After what happened last night and how ‘messy’ things could get between us, I didn’t think it would even be a thought in your mind.”
Merric’s face falls, his eyes looking past me. He pulls me closer to him again, his mouth pressed to my ear. His voice turns low, assuring no one can hear him.
“We also talked about how no matter how hard I had tried, I was incapable of staying away or keeping my hands off you. Or did you forget about that part?”
My body relaxes, his words like a balm to my tattered wounds. He must sense the tension in my body lessen, his fingers rubbing along my back as we sway from side to side.
“I never meant for the night to take a turn as it did. That wasn’t how I wanted it to go.” “How did you want it to go then?”
Silence falls over us, and he seems to consider his answer before he finally replies.
“I just know whatever happens between us, it can’t go beyond this week.”
His tone changes as he finishes the sentence. Whatever reassurance I thought he had given me falls away once again. I hate how he’s asking for permission for us to give in, wanting to know if we cross this line, if we can both accept it’ll never turn into anything more.
The question is, “Can I accept it?”
I’ve never been the girl who’s hooked up. I’ve seen them all too often working at Whiskey Barrel. Especially all the groupies who come in and out, chasing after the different band members, hoping they’ll be the lucky one to capture their attention.
It’s not something I’ve been able to do. I’ve only had two other relationships in my life; both were more serious. While we may not have had our futures all laid out, we were committed to each other, and I trusted they weren’t with anyone else.
Now, standing here in Merric’s arms, he’s asking if I’ll give him one night with the promise of not letting it ruin things or turn messy, knowing how close our families still are to each other.
I hadn’t told Merric how I felt about him for all these years. He has no idea how big of a question this is to me. Yet when I stop and ask myself, “Could I truly accept only this week with Merric?”
The answer is simple. If it’s all I can have, I’ll take it. I’ve kept my feelings for him buried for all this time, never thinking it would get to this point. What do I have to lose?
It’s worth it to me. It’s worth it all.
Chapter Six
I’m not sure what I expected after my conversation with Merric on the dance floor. When I look at him and nod, assuring him I understand, it feels as though someone has reached into my chest and gripped my heart.
The edge of his mouth curves up in a smile. The urge to kiss him again eats away at any resistance I’ve been holding onto. I know by the way he blinks lazily, he feels it, too.
“Later,” he whispers, quiet enough for only me to hear.
I’m half-tempted to beg him to tell me when, to map it all out for me because I can’t wait another second.
By the time we finally make it back to my mom’s house, it’s after midnight. I unhook the strap of my sandal, toeing off my shoes, and sigh at the feel of the plush carpet beneath my aching feet.
After the last twenty-four hours, my body is shutting down as exhaustion looms. I’m ready to crawl into bed and let sleep pull me under. I slip into my pajamas and pad into the en suite bathroom, spending a few minutes going through my nighttime routine of washing my face and brushing my teeth. I pull my hair up in a bun on top of my head, tug my soft white comforter back, and slip into bed. I’m ready to crash the moment my head hits the pillow.
I wake up later from the sound of the subtle click of my door shutting, snapping me out of my sleep. It takes a moment to adjust to the darkness before landing on Merric’s tall frame standing in the corner of my room.
“I’m sorry I keep waking you.”
I’m not quite sure if I believe it, especially considering he’s standing in front of me without his shirt on and his pants hanging low on his hips.
My only response is to slide over on my bed, lifting the blankets in a silent invitation for him to join me. He pauses, staring down at my tank top and the sliver of skin showing above the shorts I wore to bed. My mom always has the heat up in the house, and I prefer to use several blankets than overdress.
Merric clears his throat, climbing onto the bed next to me. He slides his arm underneath my pillow, pulling me closer until our bodies meld together. A tremble shudders through my body as he glides his hand over my stomach, holding me against him.
“Your skin is so soft,” he whispers. “You feel so damn good against me.”
I sigh, my hand finding his beneath my pillow, lacing our fingers together while his hand lays over my stomach. The tips of his fingers brush along the band of my shorts, tracing back and forth. Each pass has me aching to feel his hands on other areas of my body, but I don’t dare push him. I soak up how he takes his time exploring my body.