Now here we are, back to the place where we swore we wouldn’t be.
I held up my end of the agreement. As hard as it was, I didn’t reach out to him. I came back to Wilmington and attempted to get back to my normal life.
The reality of the situation is this is how it will always be between us. We can’t continue to fan the flames between us only when the lights are out. Sooner or later, the fire will burn out, and like Merric has already said, we’ll be left with nothing but the mess of the situation to deal with.
“It’s probably not a good idea, don’t you think?”
He winces. His eyes narrow, snapping up to meet mine. He hadn’t expected me to turn him down. Probably because up until this point, it’s been him calling the shots, and I’ve gone along with everything he’s said. I’m not going to stand here and continue to let him drag my heart through the mud.
I step back, pulling my keys from my purse and hit the unlock button on my remote.
“I’m sorry you drove all the way up here for nothing. You could’ve just called.”
“I didn’t want to do this over the phone. Will you at least come with me so we can talk? I promise, I won’t even try to touch you. I just want us to talk.”
I hesitate before turning to leave. Merric wants to talk? Is he serious?
I want to fly back and make some offhanded comment, questioning if he’s even the same Merric as before, but I bite my tongue, instead nodding, asking him where he’s staying.
“I got a suite at the Ritz for the night. I didn’t know what to expect, and, well, I knew we couldn’t exactly sleep comfortably on your bed.”
My eyes shoot over to his, tilting my head to the side. “Oh, so that’s all this is about? What happened to it only being for the week?”
“No,” he states matter-of-factly. “If you’ll give me a chance to talk, you’ll know it wasn’t only about sex. You can’t be mad at me for hoping I’d be able to spend the night with you again or for wanting to know you’re in my arms while I do.”
My stomach flips at the mention of him wanting to hold me. My heart begs for me to go with him, while my mind shouts what a giant mistake this will be.
“Okay,” I agree. “I’ll follow you there.”
He stares down at me. I can tell he’s trying hard to give me space, not wanting to push me too much. He’s going with whatever I’m comfortable with, but I know him well enough to know this isn’t easy for him.
He presses his hand against my lower back, following me to my car. His hand shoots past me, reaching to open the door. He waits while I climb in, making sure I buckle my seat belt before he closes the door behind me.
“I’ll see you there then?”
“I’ll see you there, Merric.”
He nods, finally accepting my answer. My eyes follow him as he crosses the parking lot to his Maserati parked away from the rest of the cars.
The entire drive to the hotel, I’m playing out all the ways this will go in my head, shuffling through the possible theories of what he wants to talk about. The truth of the matter is, nothing has changed, and there’s no easy way for us to work through any of the reasons he’s holding back.
It’s only going to make this worse when the time comes for us to go our separate ways, knowing we’ll still likely see each other at different family events. While his dad is no longer here, it’s not like he has to show up. My mom will continue to stay in touch with him, and I know Merric won’t push her away.
Merric must’ve already checked in before he showed up at Whiskey Barrel. When we pull up at the hotel, he motions for the valet to park both cars. He once again presses his hand against my lower back, guiding me through the lobby and toward the elevator. Each second we’re alone on the ride up to his room ticks by at an agonizingly slow pace.
His hand never leaves my back, and I don’t pull away to put space between us. It’s as though we both understand what the distance over the past few week has done, and we don’t want to lose this connection, no matter how brief it may be.
It’s not until we’re standing outside his room that he drops his hand, reaching into his pocket to pull out his room key, sliding it into the reader. He gets the door, urging me inside.
We make it no more than two steps through the door when I turn to face him, letting it spring shut behind us, as I push him against the closed door.
“You drive me so damn crazy,” I moan, reaching my hands up to wrap around the nape of his neck, pulling him closer to me.
He grunts, his hands sliding over my ass, squeezing it before he lifts me into his arms. My legs wrap around his waist, my arms circling his neck, holding him against me.
He carries me easily into the room, and I blindly drop my purse on the floor, not caring in the least where it lands.
“I’ve missed you,” he whispers, pressing his forehead against mine. His words reach into my chest, gripping my heart, and steal my breath away.
“I missed you, too.” I exhale the words harshly.
My lips are on his, kissing him with every ounce of passion burning inside me. It’s not until he passes by the bedroom suite that I finally pull back, my eyes searching the room for where we’re going. He carries me into the living room area, taking a seat on the couch with me straddling his lap.
“First, talking,” he insists, answering my unspoken question. “We can do whatever you want after we talk.”
The windows are open, the salty air from the ocean mixes with the cold breeze flowing through the curtains. I turn back to face him, a devious smile curling the edge of my mouth.
“Whatever I want?”
He nods. “Whatever you want.”
My hands frame his face, leaning in to kiss him again. This time, it’s slow and full of passion. When we finally break apart, his eyes take a second before they slowly blink open.
“No more kissing until we talk.”
I sigh dramatically. “Okay… fine. Why don’t you start by telling me why you’re even here?”
He looks away, seeming to consider his words carefully. I worry whatever he’s about to say could change things between us. Despite wanting answers, I wish I could push all my questions out of my mind and forget everything.
I didn’t get enough time with him before. No matter how much I wish I had, I can’t let myself forget how badly he hurt me.
“I made a mistake, Oaklyn.”
My fingers toy with the end of my hair, repeating his words over and over to myself.
I was a mistake. He regretted being with me.
“You didn’t need to come all this way to tell me it was a mistake, Merric. Why even come here now?”
I bite down on my lip, holding myself back from saying anything I may regret.
I attempt to slide off his lap, needing distance between us while I try to gain some control to at least hear him out. His hand grips my thigh, stopping me.
“I made a mistake when I walked away from you.”
I look back up at him, my arms wrapped around my middle, trying to hold myself together. My breath is lodged in my throat, waiting for him to continue.
“I’ve had some shit going on back at the office I needed to handle. Trying to deal with that while sorting through what was going on between us, I couldn’t figure it all out while being stuck in a house with you, and your mom not far away. I bolted. I took off,” he sighs heavily. “The further I got from you, the more I realized how big of a coward I was.”