Raucous laughter filters in at our backs, proving my point. The timing is perfect, but Mia is already too rattled. I urge her down the hall to my room, but she stops a door short and pushes open the door to the room she was offered when we first arrived. I don’t think she’s been in here since that first day, but I watch, bewildered as she steps inside. She closes the door in my face before I can ask her what’s going on.
I raise my knuckles to knock, but let my arm drop before I manage it. If she needs space, I have to give it to her. I can’t force myself on her. That would be too reminiscent of the things I’m sure she went through before, and I refuse to even make her think for a second that I’m anything like those pieces of shit.
Even though I don’t knock, her being locked away doesn’t keep me from pacing the hallway for the next twenty minutes, waiting for her to step back out to look for me. When it doesn’t happen, I go to my room, leaving the door wide open, and wait for her there.
She never comes. The door to that room doesn’t open, and when I convince myself that she’s probably fallen asleep, I leave my room. I’m not a weirdo. I only press my ear to the door for a few seconds, and I walk away when I’m met with nothing but silence.
Most of the guys are still in the living room, but since I don’t feel like socializing, I walk out the front door and head to the garage. Jinx and Grinch gave up on the game of pool, and they’re currently huddled around the space heater near Shadow’s project bike.
“Didn’t mean to scare your girl,” Jinx mutters.
“If you didn’t cheat, we could’ve avoided the entire situation,” Grinch argues.
“You guys are like three-year-olds,” I mutter as I join them.
I didn’t think to grab a jacket, and even though the garage keeps the wind out, it’s fucking cold right now. I breathe into my hands, rubbing them together in front of my face to warm them faster. I really wanted some peace and fucking quiet, but I knew it was a long shot. There are ten Cerberus men, not including the original guys, and short of holing up in my room, I know I’m bound to run into one or three of these fuckers.
“Everyone else comes back tomorrow,” Grinch says. “Means we’re that much closer to going and setting Venezuela on fire.”
We all grin. I’ve been focused on Mia, but I haven’t forgotten for one second what we’ll be facing soon. My blood burns with the need for some vengeance, and even though I know that’s just about as dangerous as heading into a mission with personal shit hovering over me, it won’t stop me from taking my pound of flesh.
If there was a way for me to drag Luis Jiménez back to New Mexico so Mia could be the one to put a bullet between his eyes, I’d make it happen and call it a late Christmas gift. Even if that were a possibility; however, I know that it wouldn’t change much for her. Killing the man responsible would only be a Band-Aid over the wounds that were inflicted on her.
“I heard talk that Kincaid is bringing in additional men,” Jinx says, keeping the conversation going.
“That would help,” Grinch mutters. “But hired men can be more of a hindrance.”
“Naw.” Jinx shakes his head. “We had to do it three years ago in South Africa. The guys he hires are top-notch. Patriots through and through.”
Grinch and I both nod, happy with the news. There’s nothing worse than facing a life or death situation and not knowing if you can trust the guy at your six.
“It’s fucking cold out here,” Jinx hisses when it’s clear the heater is fighting a losing battle with the cold.
“Yeah,” I agree, feeling like I’ve already left Mia alone for too long.
She may not want to be around me, but my skin is itchy, needing to feel her against me.
“I’m going back in. See ya.” I walk away from the guys who continue to grumble about the cold but make no move to head inside where it’s warmer.
Kincaid stops me in the living room before I can get back to Mia.
“How’s she doing?” he asks. “Some of the guys said she finally came out of the room for a while.”
“She’s taking it one day at a time.” I run my hands over my cold head, still regretting that I didn’t wear a jacket or a beanie outside. It’s going to take me forever to warm back up.
I know the quickest way to make that happen, but my president is standing between me and my little living furnace right now.
“I can have Emmalyn and Misty spend some time with her if you think that will help. They’re both chomping at the bit to get to know her better.”
“They’ve stopped by the room a couple of times, and Mia knows the offer is always on the table. She’ll accept when she’s ready.”
Kincaid nods, giving me that same sad look Max did this morning when he woke us up.
“Just let me know,” he says with a quick nod before walking away.
The door to her room is still closed, and mine is open and empty, but I’ve given her space, given her time to come to terms with being outside of the room a little, and now I have to see her. I have to know that she’s alright and offer the strength of my arms if she needs them. Not once since she reached for me in the hospital have I needed distance from her. If anything, I’ve grown addicted to the way her body curves around mine, each and every one of her curves fitting perfectly into mine. Enough is enough.
I knock softly on her door, increasing the force when she doesn’t answer. By the time I’m ready to pound on the damn thing, I announce myself and turn the knob. She isn’t on the bed, and after further inspection of the bathroom and closet, I realize she isn’t in here at all.
I check my room again, sprinting to open my bathroom and closet doors. My heart is pounding in my chest, making that and my rough breaths the only thing I can hear.
I rush to the kitchen. She isn’t there either. She’s not in the living room, and the people hanging out haven’t seen her.
“Maybe she went to the pool?” Rocker offers.
“It’s fucking twenty-five degrees outside,” I hiss. “She’s not fucking swimming.”
It doesn’t stop me from checking there, though and by the time I make it back inside, everyone is huddled in a group, as if they already know that I’m about to ask them to help me find her.
Before I can give them instructions, I pull my phone from my pocket, hating that I’m fixing to have to give her brother this news. The phone rings and goes to voicemail over and over, but just when I’m fixing to press the call button for the sixth time, the phone rings in my hand, and Max shows up on the screen.
“What’s wrong?” Max asks instead of giving some contrived greeting.
“It’s Mia,” I tell him, sucking air into my lungs, but still unable to get enough oxygen to my brain. “She’s gone. We can’t find her anywhere.”
He tells me he’s on his way before he hangs up.
“Tell us what to do,” Jinx says.
I’m unable to speak. I was responsible for this girl, and now she’s gone. This failure is on me.
Kincaid steps forward, places a hand on my shoulder, and addresses the crowd, “Listen up. This is what we need to do.”