I blink up at him when he takes a step back and clasps me at my shoulders so he can frown down at me.
“What were you thinking? You could’ve fucking died out there. Leaving here was a stupid fucking cho—”
He clamps his mouth shut, the muscles in his jaw tensing over and over as he stares down at me.
He’s angry, and before I can think, I lift up on my toes and press my lips to his.
Chapter 9
Scooter
Cold lips press to mine, and even though it’s something I haven’t let myself want, I realize immediately that it’s something I’ve needed from her for weeks. Something that tells me she’s been feeling exactly the same way about me that I have about her.
It still doesn’t stop the gasp of surprise from escaping or the low moan when she presses her tongue to mine. My eyes widen in shock, but it’s the sight of her eyes clenched tight as if she’s in pain and the fresh tears streaming down her cheeks that make me take another step back.
My lips tingle with the loss, and my eyebrows slam together in confusion with her reaction. She kissed me. She reached up on her toes and angled her mouth to press against mine, not the other way around. So why does she look like I just forced myself on her?
“Mia?” I shake my head, trying to get a grip on the situation and also to wipe the need to kiss her again from my brain.
Her lips are still blue from being out in the cold for God knows how long, and they tremble uncontrollably. When we first came in here, she was shaking because of the cold, but now after she kissed me, I can see the fear in her eyes.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her because it’s the only thing I can think of right now. My mind is so clouded that just being around her makes everything so muddled.
I can’t think straight when she’s around. My body is in a constant state of worry, need, and concern. It’s all too much for me to be able to work through in front of her. I’m terrified of coming on too strong or not strong enough. I’m always worried I’ll say the wrong thing or react to her the wrong way. It’s why I’ve been telling her fluffy stories about my past, skipping over all the bad shit I’ve seen and done since becoming an adult. My one-sided conversations are nothing more than an attempt to calm her and ease her worries.
But then she goes and presses her perfect mouth to mine, and I’m struck stupid, like an idiot teenager finally getting to kiss the girl at prom.
“I shouldn’t have done that,” I whisper, hoping it will calm her.
But all it does is make her cry harder, the tears now rushing out of her red-rimmed eyes like I’ve given her horrible news.
When her shoulders slump and she stares at me with an expectation I can’t decipher, I know I have to get away from her. I can’t help her when my own mind and body are warring with each other. I can’t comfort her when deep down, I need comfort myself.
“I—” Her face contorts with more pain than I’ve ever seen on her face before. Even in the hospital that first day when she woke up terrified and afraid of everyone but me, I didn’t see this level of agony in her dark eyes. “I can’t be here right now.”
I turn and leave the room, grateful that her sobs are silent because the sound of her pain would only draw me in closer to her.
“How is she?” Max asks as I step into the hallway and close my bedroom door with more restraint than I feel.
“She’s cold, but she’ll be fine.”
“I want to see her.” The man has had those five words on repeat since we got back from Miami, but tonight they agitate me more than they ever have before.
I don’t need him going into that room and seeing her like she is right now. I don’t need him concocting scenarios of how I may have hurt his sister, although his creative appraisal of the situation may give me some insight into what the hell is going on.
“She’s going to get into a warm bath,” I lie. “She wants some time alone.”
He sighs, head rolling forward on his shoulders much the same way Mia’s did just moments ago. “I should’ve been here. Why did she leave? What happened to force her out into the freezing cold?”
His barrage of questions is the very same ones I’ve been asking myself. Was it because of me, or is that my ego talking? Her demeanor was a little off this afternoon, which is saying a lot for a girl who has refused to leave my room for the last week, but I don’t think I said or did anything to upset her.
She was scared after the guys were arguing over pool, but I figured she’d be okay once she was in a safe place.
I made a lot of assumptions, and that’s the last time I’ll make those mistakes again.
“I don’t know why she left, but she’s safe now,” I grumble as Tug and Jasmine walk into the hallway.
“There you are,” Tug says as he places himself right in front of Max.
Jasmine reaches for him too, and like they’re all an extension of each other, Max wraps his arms around both of them, and they do the same with him. It’s the most sensual huddle I’ve ever seen, and I use the reprieve to make my escape.
Worried, questioning eyes look up at me when I walk out into the living room, but the man I need to talk to isn’t in the room. Rocker and Jinx eye me expectantly, and normally I’d go to them for advice, but this goes deeper than any half-hearted conversation about women. Neither of these guys has ever been in a serious relationship, as far as I know, so they don’t have the foundation I require. Not that Mia and I are in any form of a relationship, but I need to figure out a way to reach that woman without scaring her to death or making things worse for her.
Unless he’s home, Kincaid would be in the conference room. I turn back around and push open the heavy wooden door without knocking, finding Kincaid inside. I only consider Shadow, Snatch, Itchy, and Dominic as bonuses as I close myself inside with them.
“How is she?” Kincaid asks. “Did she bother to give an explanation?”
“She’s warming up,” I tell him as I fall into a chair on the side of the table. It’s not the one I normally sit in, but walking to the other side would take more energy than I have to give right now. “She hasn’t said anything.”
“Have you asked her if she wants to stay here?” Shadow asks from behind the screen of his computer.
“She wanted to be here.”
“Right,” Dominic says as he takes the chair across from me. “When she was in the hospital, she wanted to be here. That may have changed. The woman didn’t walk out into sub-freezing temps because she loves the clubhouse. Did something happen today? Something that would’ve made her want to leave?”
These are all the same questions Max had, and I still don’t have answers.
“She came out of the room for breakfast and hung out a little in the living room. She was upset when a couple of the guys started playfully arguing over pool,” I explain. “When we left the living room, she went into the room she was offered when she first arrived. I didn’t see her again until I pulled her out of the trees twenty minutes ago. No one said anything to her other than including her in conversations as best they could earlier. They didn’t ask her questions or pry.”
I shake my head, confusion only growing as I explain the day.