“We’ll talk in the morning,” I heard Skye say to her before she came back to the doorway and threw me a blanket and pillow. “Night,” she said. “Oh, and Will? Just so you know, my porn go to is Superman and Lois Lane.” She smiled before turning off the light and leaving me with my hand pressed to my chest thinking about the Superman t-shirt I had on under my sweater, wondering if it was a sign.
A sign that I was heading towards danger, unable to stop myself from being desperate to abandon the friend zone.
5
Skye
“Hey, bubblegum hair girl.”
“Hi,” I said, holding out my hand. “I’m Skye. I never introduced myself before.”
“I’m Mickey,” he said giving me a firm handshake. “Nice to see you again.”
I’d come back to the sex shop, Religion, after remembering Mickey telling me about their second shop at the other end of Brighton and the cinema they owned where they held premieres for new and up and coming porn films. I wondered if they had connections or would be willing to help me out with my idea of filming my own.
“What can I help you with today?” Mickey asked. He’d lost the vicars collar and was wearing tartan trousers and a bondage-inspired top with buckles and straps.
“I want to make a porn film.”
He stopped fiddling with the shelves and did a full body turn.
“Say that again.”
I laughed and crossed my arms. Saying it out loud made this real. I was here and I was doing this. “I want to make a film that is more in touch with what a real sexual relationship is like. I want to get across the message of consent, only doing what you’re happy with and of safe sex. It’s going to be used as a part of our support services at the clinic, aimed at young adults who are coming to terms with their sexuality.”
He blinked a few times and pulled in his lips. “Can I ask you something?” I nodded. “Why?”
I was taken aback by his question and didn’t know how to reply. I knew why. It made sense to me, but how could I put it into words? “I see too many young people get into things they’re not prepared for. They get in way over their heads. I talk to people who contract STIs because they don’t know any better. Sex education in this county is crap. They don’t even talk about same-sex relationships. Already, a young person is led to believe it’s wrong to have sexual feelings for someone of the same gender. In fact, any sexual preference is treated as taboo or dirty or something you shouldn’t be thinking about until you’re married. Don’t even get me started on masturbation.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Mickey said, smirking as I took my hands off my hips.
“It’s a tool I can use at the clinic. A way of showing that sex isn’t wrong or dirty. It’s natural and beautiful.”
“I’m still trying to fathom what message you’re trying to convey, because honey, currently, you have a million and one things you want to say.” I sat down on a pew and put my head in my hands in frustration. “I love all the messages, chick, don’t get me wrong. But porn is a huge industry. There are films for all preferences. Porn featuring loving, sensual, consensual sex is out there, it’s just not as popular as the hardcore stuff.”
“So, what you’re saying is, I should forget it?” I asked. He sat down at the side of me and offered me a bowl of sweets in the shape of little red lips.
“I’m not saying that. I just don’t want you to think you’re being a trailblazer when actually, there’s porn that already caters to the market you’re thinking of and many others. We had a premiere the other night for a film celebrating disability and sex.”
“I don’t want to forge a career out of this or to be the next big thing in porn. I just want to deliver a message to the kids we work with at the clinic. For the kids my brother’s age who don’t understand themselves yet.”
He patted my knee. “I think it’s great to use it as some form of education tool at the clinic.”
“Great,” I said, smiling. “You’ll help me then?”
“Skye! You’re like a dog with a bone! How in the hell do you think I can help?” Mickey spluttered.
“You must have connections,” I said, touching his arm. “I’m looking to meet porn directors who think outside the box. The ones that are catering to people who want more sensual porn. Porn with a story. Porn with a message.”
He shook his head. “I don’t have a lot to do with that side of things. I work in sales not porn.”
“Your manager owns the two shops though? And the cinema?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
“Is he here?” He sighed. “Can I speak to him?”
“I’m not sure, Skye.”
“I’ll do anything,” I pleaded. “I make great cookies. I could do them in penis shapes and you could sell them in the shop.”
“If you can shape them into penises and vaginas, you’ve got a deal.”
That wouldn’t be too hard, just a couple of squishes needed.
“Deal.”
He laughed and shook his head. “Hold on.”
I watched as Mickey disappeared into a back room and appeared a few minutes later with a guy wearing a flat cap and grey suit. “Skye, this is Robson. He owns Religion.”
“Nice to meet you,” I said standing up. He nodded curtly and folded his arms.
“First of all, is this a joke?” he said. “Not being rude, but we get plenty of jokers in here.”
“No. I’m volunteer at the LGBTQ+ sexual health clinic. I’m planning a new support group about expectations of sexual relationships and keeping safe.” He fiddled with his bottom lip. “I’m interested in shooting a porn film to convey the messages we aim to help young people with.”
“A porn film? As in just one?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“If you work for the LGBTQ+ clinic, you’re gonna have to fit a lot into one film to appeal to everyone.” I hadn’t even considered that. Will and I had started to put together a storyboard, but we hadn’t mentioned if it was going to be straight, lesbian, gay, or trans.
“Shit,” I muttered under my breath. “I see what you mean.”
“You must know Dr Chris,” Robson said.
I bowed. “My mentor.”
Robson smiled as Mickey laughed. “We did some fundraising for the clinic last year. She’s not someone you forget easily.”
“Absolutely not,” I replied.
“You do some amazing work there,” Robson said. “I think the idea is great, but…dare I ask this? Do you have any experience in porn?” I shook my head. “Acting or filmography?”
“In a word…no, but my friend is a photographer. He’s going to film it for me.”
“A photographer?” He started laughing and it was in that moment that I realised I was way out of my depth.
“You think I’m an idiot, don’t you?”
He thought for a moment, scratched his head. “I think if you’re serious about this, you need to see what’s involved.” He blew out a breath and muttered, “I can’t believe I’m doing this,” before pulling out his phone from his pocket. “I’ve got a friend who directs porn films. We often premiere them at our cinema. I could ask her if she’d be willing to meet you or even allow you to watch her film a scene.”