“Her?”
“Yeah. She’s built up a name for herself as the first female porn director who films in the style of big-budget films. Real storylines and proper scripts, but instead of cut-and-fade or a tame sex scene you’d see in a Hollywood movie, she features the sex scene from start to finish. Very popular with women. Here.” He handed me a Blu-ray from the shelf. It was a film called Stronger Ties. The back cover had a blurb just like you find on a novel. This one was obviously a nod to Fifty Shades with an office worker being pulled into the world of submission by her dominant older boss. “Take that and see what you think. I’ll give her a call and see if she’ll have you there when she’s filming. It’s a good place to start.”
I left my details with Robson and Mickey and later that day I got a call to say that Margot Phillips, female porn director, would be willing to let me shadow her on her next shoot, which happened to be on Sunday evening. I’d cleared it with her that Will would come with me; I just hadn’t got around to telling him yet.
We’d left things in a cloud of weirdness. He stayed on the sofa the night we watched Harley Quinn, the Joker, and Batman get it on, and in the morning, he was all stilted conversations and awkward glances. We settled into our familiar territory of banter bordering on mild abuse and he left by lunchtime after sitting in the corner of the café watching me as I helped serve the lunchtime rush. He’d texted me a handful of times during the week, asked if I’d watched any good porn lately, and met Stacey for lunch where she later described him to me as weirder than usual.
Saturday rolled around and I still hadn’t asked Will if he would come to the porn shoot with me. I only had a day to convince him, but I knew something had been holding me back from the conversation. Just watching porn with Will had caused an ache I couldn’t seem to shake. A body vibration that didn’t ease up. What would happen when we were watching people having sex in front of us? I was sensing a combustion. An explosion. An uproar.
“He seems like a good guy,” Will said as we looked across to Stacey and Matt deep in conversation on Brighton beach. It was the weekend of the Ironman competition and they’d both agreed to help me hand out some brownies that had a promo attached to them for Vanity Fur. Unexpectedly, Matt, the escort Stacey had interviewed, slept with, and apparently fallen in love with, was a competitor and fate appeared to be bringing them together.
“Yeah,” I replied. “I like him but get her reservations about his job.”
“You couldn’t handle a male escort?” He smirked.
“I’d be happy to try,” I replied, pulling Reggie’s lead. “Or I could always ask out his mate.” He ignored me. “Come on, let’s rescue her.”
We approached Stacey and wrapped our arms around her as she watched Matt run out towards the tide.
“What are the chances of that, hey?” I said. “There may be something to this fate bullshit.”
“Or he’s just really good at stalking,” Will added.
“Thank you for being nice to him.”
“Stace,” he said. “He’s an escort, not a fucking murderer.”
“Jesus, I’m so confused,” she replied, covering her face with her hands. Will pulled them away, kissing her on the top of her head firmly.
“Love your escort, but proceed with caution,” I said.
“Be fucking happy,” Will said, staring at me. “Life’s too short.” I wondered what he meant and why he was still watching me, but Stacey was expecting some pearls of wisdom and she was in no mood to wait.
“He seems really nice, looks good in a wetsuit, and he has a fit mate. It isn’t all bad.” Will frowned and I probably had a similar facial expression.
“He does look good in a wetsuit,” Stacey said, bringing me back to the conversation.
“I don’t want you to get hurt, but at the same time, I want you to have the love you’ve been craving,” I said and the voices inside me became stronger.
What about the love you’ve been craving?
“He isn’t always going to be an escort,” Will replied.
“I know, but isn’t that the point?” She asked, watching him in the distance and walking away. “He’s the right man…at the wrong time.”
“Is there such a thing?” I asked, but she didn’t respond.
Will stood behind me and sighed. “Yeah, there is.” I swear he moved towards me, taking a deep breath, smelling my hair.
“Are you free tomorrow night?” I blurted out. His eyes widened. “I’m going to London to go behind the scenes on a porn film. I’d like you to be there to get some ideas for when we do it ourselves.”
“Bloody Nora, Skye.”
“Think about it before you say no.” He looked queasy. “If it’s a no, I need somewhere to stay anyway,” I added, taking hold of his elbow. “Can I have your settee for the night? Pay back for all the times you’ve stayed on mine.”
“What the hell? Jesus, do you even know these people?”
“They have connections with the adult cinema in Brighton. I know the owner. It’s safe, the director is female. She has a great view of what porn should be. I’ve watched a few of her films and they are…beautiful.”
“I can’t believe this. What am I doing?”
I smiled and he started laughing. I loved that sound. Totally free and natural.
“You’ll come with me?” I watched as he turned around, nodded his head and muttered strings of swear words before pushing up his glasses with his finger.
“Of all the things you’ve got me into, this has to be the worst. I mean, Skye. For fuck’s sake.”
“I’ll leave you alone after this. I’ll never get you involved in anything else again.” He laughed like he didn’t believe me. “Just say yes.”
His eyes dropped to my mouth and right in that moment I didn’t feel like a woman with a ridiculous idea. I felt like a woman who could hold up the world. I could achieve, I could reach, I could master. All through one look from Will.
He shook his head and my heart fell to join the pebbles on the beach, mixing and settling together.
“I’ll do it, Skye. But promise me one thing.”
I waited for banter. I waited for deadpan. I waited for sarcasm.
But I didn’t find it.
“Don’t leave me alone after this. OK?”
6
Skye
I won’t be home tonight. Don’t worry about me. I’m fine. x
I sent a quick text to Stacey before dropping my phone into my bag. I hadn’t told her about my porn film idea. She was one of my best friends, would have supported me wholeheartedly, but she was currently up to her heart in potential devastation and I concluded that she didn’t need my harebrained ideas adding to the mix.
Falling for a male escort wasn’t easy.
And falling for your one of your best friends wasn’t all roses either.
“Is this it?” Will asked, glancing at me.
“Don’t say it,” I replied, knowing what his next sentence would be. The building in front of us looked like a warehouse. A dilapidated old place where you’d be handed a hard hat at the door, not a vibrator and some lube. I took a deep breath and tried to calm the anxiety racing across my chest. What had I gotten us into?