“You should go first. I’ll follow behind. Sorry about your tights.” He’s grinning, so he’s obviously not sorry.
I slowly regain the use of my limbs, collect my belongings, and jam my stuff into my backpack. When I stand up, I’m appalled by the puddle on the seat. Oh my God, I mouth to Kodiak. I run my hands down the back of my skirt, and sure enough, it’s wet. I can’t tell if it’s because Kodiak drooled all over me or my damn vagina drooled all over the chair. I’m thinking it’s probably a bit of both, and how embarrassing is that?
Even worse, he looks absolutely gleeful over it.
I yank my coat from the hook and shrug into it jerkily. My legs still feel like Jell-O. I point at him. “Never again.”
He shakes his head and nods once, smiling. “Never.”
He’s going to want to do this every chance he gets.
I sling my backpack over my shoulder, take a deep breath, and open the door enough to slip out, closing it behind me. I keep my head down and find the nearest bathroom. I’m a total wreck.
I do my best to make myself presentable, but I can’t get rid of my red cheeks or the blotchy patches on my neck. Kodiak is waiting for me outside the bathroom, looking ridiculously smug and smelling a lot like eau de vagina. There is no way I’m leaving through the main entrance with me looking the way I do and him wearing that expression. I leave the book I was supposed to check out behind. I’ll have to come back for it when I’m less mortified.
I brush by Kodiak, and he automatically links his pinkie with mine. “Where we goin’?”
“Out one of the side doors. It’s closer to your class, which you need to be at in”—I point at the wall—“sixteen minutes if that clock is correct.” The exit is also not frequently used, so we’re less likely to run into people. Besides, I passed a group of girls who I know from my psych course before I ran into Kodiak, and I would like to avoid them post-orgasm.
I take the stairs as quickly as my short legs will carry me, Kodiak’s pinkie still linked with mine. When we get to the last flight, I glance down between the railings and catch a glimpse of a couple in what looks like a very heated make-out session. And upon closer inspection, I’m pretty sure half of the couple is Josiah. They’re so engrossed in each other, that they must not hear us.
“What time does your class end?” I ask rather loudly as we descend the final flight.
They jump apart, and I almost trip down the last four steps. Because the other half of that couple is my twin.
____________________
The four of us stand there for a few long seconds, staring at one another. Well, I assume Kodiak is staring, but he’s behind me, so I can’t know for sure. He bends and kisses me on the cheek, whispering in my ear, “I gotta get to class. You gonna be okay?”
I nod, aware he has a test and can’t be late.
“I’ll see you at your place after class. Text me if you need me.” He traces a figure eight on the side of my neck, tips my chin up, and presses his lips to mine. “Josiah, River.” He gives them a nod and disappears out the door and into the sunshine, leaving me alone with my brother and Josiah, who both look cagey as fuck.
River begins, “Lav, it’s not—”
Josiah’s head snaps in his direction, and he pins my brother with the same look he gave Kodiak when he made it rain dicks in my bedroom and acted like a territorial asshole.
River’s expression is pained and conflicted.
“I’m not going to be some secret you’re ashamed of,” Josiah says quietly. He turns to me. “I wanted to tell you, but River was adamant he be the one.” He takes a couple of steps toward the door. “Call me when you’re tired of hiding in your closet.”
“’Siah.” River reaches out, but Josiah shakes his head, and River’s hand falls limply to his side.
“Sorry, Lavender. This is not how I wanted you to find out.” Josiah pushes through the door, leaving me and River alone in a stairwell that smells like guilt, shame, desire, and cologne.
I lean against the railing and set aside my feelings about River and Josiah keeping this from me, so I can deal with my twin. “You do realize this isn’t a surprise, right?”
River’s gaze shifts to meet mine. How he manages to have a furrowed brow and wide eyes is beyond me.
I raise a finger and clarify. “I mean, the fact that it’s Josiah is a surprise, but you being gay, or bi, or however you choose to identify, isn’t.”
His gaze darts around before it finally settles on me again. “Gay. I’m gay.”
Based on Josiah’s reaction, this isn’t a random hookup. “You know you don’t have to hide who you are from me, right? I’m always going to love and accept you, no matter what.”
He nods, but the sound of a door opening somewhere in the stairwell above us prevents him from responding.
“Wanna get a coffee?” I ask.
“Shots would be better.”
“I’m done with class for the day, so we can go home and you can do shots and we can talk?”
He nods.
Twenty minutes later, we’re at the house. I’m no longer wearing ripped tights and damp underwear, and my brother and I are sitting on my bed, both of us drinking coolers even though it’s the middle of the afternoon.
“So when did you and Josiah become a thing?” I figure I can start with the easier questions.
“A couple of weeks into the semester, I guess. I met him last year at some party, but nothing really came of it until I saw him again. He figured out pretty quick that you and I were related because my name isn’t all that common.” He takes a huge gulp of cooler and blows out a breath. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I felt shitty about it—I feel shitty about it—but it’s so fucking complicated.”
“Complicated how? As far as I can see, it’s pretty simple. You like him, he likes you, and that’s that.”
“We live in a neighborhood full of hockey players and jocks, Lavender. How do you think it’s gonna go over if I have a boyfriend and I’m on the football team?”
“Shouldn’t we all be past that archaic line of thinking?” I’m not asking to be a jerk; I really don’t have the answer.
“Should we? Yes. Are we? No. It’s better than it used to be, but it’s still not going to be easy.”
“Nothing worth fighting for is easy, River.”
“I know.”
He holds his index finger out, and I link mine with it. “There’s a but coming.”
“What if our friends aren’t cool with it? What about Mom and Dad?”
“If our friends aren’t cool with it, they weren’t good friends in the first place. And our parents just want us to be happy. Mom isn’t going to care one way or the other, but I’m sure you’ll get a talk on safe anal or something ridiculously embarrassing. And as for Dad, I think more than anything, he wants to understand you and find a way to connect with you. I know that hasn’t been easy. Give him a chance to do that. Give us all a chance. We love you unconditionally. Let us prove it.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”
“I figured you would when you were ready.” So much makes sense about the past couple of months—the not coming home, his excessive reclusiveness, the distance between us. “And now that I know, maybe we can do the double-date thing. Or at least you can bring Josiah here.” I bolt upright. “Oh my God. That night Josiah was here to help me with econ, were you two already a thing?”