Later that night as I lay in bed staring at the ceiling. I heard the door open as light poured in behind the larger-than-life figure I loved and respected. “You’re not asleep?” Dad walked over to my bed and I could smell the fumes of alcohol, smoke, and the yucky smell of perfume mixed in with his cologne.
“I’m sorry, Papá.” My brows scrunched together as I said the words because I’d never apologized before. Never felt the need to. In school, we always talked about how it was important to say it when you hurt someone’s feelings. However, if I didn’t really believe it then they were just words. Empty words that held no meaning. Weren’t they?
“Why? You have nothing to apologize for.”
“You’re not disappointed in me?”
“No. I’m proud of you. Someday you will run the company.”
“I will?”
“Yes. Of course, this is a family business. Who else am I going to leave it to when I’m gone? You and your brother are the rightful heirs.”
He didn’t say only me. He included Roman too.
“But…” I almost asked him why when seemed disappointed in my brother, but then he’d know I’d eavesdropped on their conversation.
“But what?”
“Nothing.”
He ruffled my hair. “Good night, mi hijo.”
For the next several years, I made certain to stay in Pop’s good graces. I watched him while he was in his office trying to learn his mannerisms, studied how he handled people when he was negotiating. Watched how he conducted everyday tasks. I even took notes, and Dad would smile with pride. Roman never showed interest like I did. He much preferred to spend time with his friends from school and practice football. That’s all he cared about. And guess who always stood by and gave him support. Our mother did. She smiled for him. Made sure there was lemonade and plenty of snacks whenever Roman and his friends took a break from playing. Listened to him with interest as he talked about school.
While every time I was around my mom, she wanted to psychoanalyze me. Not to mention, I knew she was going through my room on a daily basis when I wasn’t there. I guess she thought I was hiding a body or something. I set up traps just so I could tell when someone came in and moved my things. It wasn’t hard to do. It wasn’t difficult to figure out she didn’t trust me. She thought I was weird and not right in the head. She thought I was less than perfect compared to her precious Roman. Eventually, I felt hate bubble up inside and jealousy. That made me even angrier because I remembered the words my father always said about emotions. And I wasn’t weak. But that didn’t stop me from wishing it was only my father and I who lived here.
Then, my mother had her car accident. No, I had nothing to do with it, but I would be lying if I hadn’t wished her dead a few times before. Because of her accident, that’s when the next hate began. My mother was paralyzed…and that wasn’t what stemmed my inner rage. Not by a long shot. It was because she needed a full-time caretaker. My father hired one and offered room and board to his employee and daughter. Soon, I realized someone else had gained my father’s attention. It wasn’t a passing affair like all the others Dad thought he was so clever to hide. The secretaries he’d hired and fired. The personal assistants, maids, even the personal chef we’d had for a brief periods of time. Those were all meaningless fucks to him. Remember, I’d studied him, knew his moves up to the point where I could predict what he did next.
Unfortunately, Rhonda Daniels was the one person who made my father go against everything he taught us. She wasn’t a good-time fuck or office romp when he thought no one was watching. He was losing his usual composure, making careless moves, taking off for hours to spend time with her whenever he could. Oh, he was clever enough for people who didn’t pay attention. Cue my imbecile brother and mother (who probably didn’t care either way), or even Theodora who’d always been so enamored with Roman since the day she and her mother moved in.
Apparently, Theodora finally figured it out.
Unfortunately, she’d picked the wrong day to fuck with the Martinez family.
Even worse, my brother was going to know what it felt like to lose it all because like my father said all those years ago—Roman was weak.
Roman
“I’ve got her.” I waved Anna aside who’d already had my mother changed into her pajamas and was about to lift her out of her chair to the bed. The party was dwindling down and before I went to Mom’s room, I’d spotted Pops sitting around one of the outdoor tables having a round of drinks with Richard and some of the other wealthy business men who were in their circle of friends. Unbelievable. From the ease in his expression, one would’ve never known the family drama unwinding right under everyone’s noses. As if Theodora was a problem that could be stifled and put on the back burner until he felt ready to deal with it.
“Go enjoy the rest of your evening. I’ll tuck her in.”
Anna said good night as I easily lifted my mother who smiled up at me. “You’re my sunshine, mi hijito. My success story.” Her eyes crinkled as she fought to keep them open. I knew she’d had a couple of glasses of champagne and was probably tipsy since she rarely drank.
I pulled back the sheets laying her down gently. “You’ve always given me too much credit.” My heart warmed with her words since compliments were a rarity, and she was the only one out of our family who spared a kind word. So it always felt weird to hear them or know how to take it when said.
“No. You turned out perfectly. Strong, well-rounded, intelligent, and a gentle soul who cares.” She raised a palm to my cheek. “I’m proud of you. Your father’s proud of you in spite of how he acts or what he says.”
I closed my eyes briefly trying to fight the antagonistic retort on the tip of my tongue. Especially after tonight’s revelation. I’m not seeking out my father’s pride or respect because he’s the biggest piece of shit known to man. Instead, I bent down and kissed her forehead. “I think the champagne is going to your head, Mamá.” Wishing I could tell her exactly what kind of man she married. But I would never want to hurt her more than she’d already suffered.
“No. I’m fine.” She sighed. “I just wish I could’ve gotten through to Antoni.”
“Antoni?” My brother was an odd duck. No doubt. He followed my father around like he had some kind of hero worship for him. Sometimes he lurked in the corners eavesdropping on conversations, and made stupid comments trying to piss me off, but for the most part that’s all it was. He was a carbon copy of Pops without actually ever running a business.
“I’m worried about him, Roman. He’s so cold and detached.”
“I’m sure that’s not true. He’s just trying to act like a big shot businessman. You know he emulates Papá.”
I checked my phone; my agitation grew with each moment I left Theodora alone. “I need to get back to the party.”
“Is it the party? Or is it Theodora?”
My eyes widened slightly, and my mother tapped me on the arm ruefully. “Earlier tonight, I overheard Taylor tell Antoni she was here when you walked off and didn’t come back.” Her mouth twisted in annoyance. “Believe me. I know more of what goes on around here than you think.” If I had time to chat, I’d press her for more explanation to what she did know about Theodora and I, about everything for that matter, but my mind was racing to make certain another bomb didn’t drop tonight.