“You’ve been sleeping a lot. Are you feeling all right?” He stepped into the room and I noticed he was barefoot. There was something intimate about that lack of formality. We’d been living like strangers, and today he was the West I’d thought I knew. He smiled and his sharp features softened. His pink lips looked bright against his golden skin. There were some tiny crinkles at the corners of his eyes that made my stomach flutter and fired up my dick a little firmer. Heat pelted into my stomach, and I scrubbed a hand through my hair and blinked at him.
“Uh….” Lie or not? Fire ate away at my face and my stomach twisted. Don’t be a problem for West. Don’t. You already did too much. “Um, I’m fine.”
He frowned and stepped farther into the room. “I’ve barely seen you.”
“I’m just tired. Long semester.” I yawned, and a slow frown worked its way across his face. He stood awkwardly with his hands at his sides, like he wasn’t sure what he should do. That made two of us.
“Well, I’ll be around if you need anything.” He stepped out again and closed the door softly. I couldn’t do this much longer. He wasn’t wrong. I wasn’t acting anything like a normal man my age would be, especially after a brutal semester at school. I should be out living it up. Partying somehow, even if I couldn’t drink. Sucking and banging my way through the too short summer.
All of that sounded fucking terrible.
So I forced myself out of bed. My legs were weak after so much time doing nothing, and it was a hassle to shower and get dressed in real clothes. By the time I made it out into the kitchen, West’s cereal bowl was stacked in the draining board, already washed and sparkling because he was meticulous like that. He’d said he would stop being gone so much when… that thing happened… but after our… night we didn’t talk about, he hadn’t changed. He worked just as many hours and was gone just as often. To be fair, I got more distant too, but nothing was right. Nothing was good right now, and God, I hated to say it, but I wanted a hug from West—anything. I was lonely, and not just for sex.
Instead of eating, which wasn’t appealing, I looked around for him. He was in the small office across from the bedroom he’d shared with Carter, working away on his laptop. I opened the door to the room that was barely more than a closet, jammed full, with a desk, chair, and bookshelves, and scrambled wildly for anything to say to him. He turned and gave me a small smile. The sun gleamed on the reading glasses on his nose, and my tongue swelled up and didn’t seem functional anymore. Oh my God, since when do glasses take a solid ten to a thirteen? Maybe I need a Fuck Scale with higher ratings.
“Shane?” He took off his glasses, and I nearly drooled when he rested one of the arms against his bottom lip.
“Would you want to go for a run together, or something?” I held my breath.
He almost looked like he was going to say yes, but at the last second, he shook his head. “I’m underwater at the office. I need to put in some time this morning while I’m sharp. You go.” He turned back to his computer, slid on his glasses, and that was that.
“Okay,” I murmured. “I’m going by myself.”
He stiffened but only nodded and waved his hand, brushing me off.
Anger surprised me as it tightened my throat until I could barely swallow the spit in my mouth. I changed into shorts and a sweatshirt and went out running. I worked out regularly, but I wasn’t a distance runner. Today, though, I didn’t want to be in that fucking house with a prick who had decided he wanted to lay down rules for my life but couldn’t even be bothered to say more than six words to me afterward. Deep down, I believed West was doing the best he could, but even that infuriated me because, damn it, so was I.
Our neighborhood wasn’t that big, so I ran along side streets to the path that wound for five miles parallel to the bayfront, a dazzling panorama I barely noted. I was getting too far from home but didn’t care. I stopped at a corner store to grab a sports drink because I hadn’t geared up, and while there I checked my phone. By that time, I’d been out for two hours, and my fingers were stiff from the chilly air, but I didn’t feel like going back yet. I ran on until I hit the other side of the city and the path stopped at a field full of baby pine trees and tall waving grass. Hanging forward to stretch, I groaned. My knees ached like a bad tooth. When I pulled up the map on my phone to figure out where the fuck I was, I discovered that I’d put in fifteen miles. My thighs burned. My back ached. I felt wobbly because I hadn’t eaten.
I was fucking done in.
I walked a little ways back along the path and sank down onto a bench that overlooked the sparkling lakefront while I checked my phone. Near the beginning of last semester, I had about a hundred missed texts from Teddy, but they’d dwindled down. The last one I found was from a few weeks ago.
Are you dead?
No, but I wished I was for a while there—hell, maybe still did. I hung my head, and the birds called to each other overhead; seagulls and crows, a strange combination, but they didn’t seem to mind one another as they made a racket. Why was I still listening to West? He wasn’t even talking to me. My entire body strained. I needed something, and I didn’t know what, because even running all that way hadn’t fixed whatever my problem was.
I texted Teddy to come get me and walked to a nearby dock.
Not long after, he pulled his dad’s black Model S Tesla into a parking space a few feet from where I stood staring at the concrete. He hopped out and pushed his curly copper hair out of his cute round face, and frowned when he saw me. He was dressed in expensive clothes, a nice leather jacket probably made from something like emus, and a shirt with a thread count that guaranteed exceeded the number of miles between here and the sun. He looked good, but the smirk on his face had me remembering why I’d agreed to listen to West about him in the first place. I liked him because he was my type, which was apparently tall, dark, and cocky, but nothing about him put me at ease.
“Damn, you gained muscle. Lookin’ good, babe.” He slid his sunglasses up to rest in his hair while he ate me alive with his eyes.
Not moved by the way he leered, one way or another, I shrugged. I felt like I should care, should have a reaction, I just… didn’t. “Yeah.”
“You wanna smoke a blunt with me?” He grinned and flipped a hand-rolled cigarette from behind his ear that I hadn’t noticed. Same old Teddy, same old song.
“Not really. Can you take me home? I ran here. I would appreciate it.”
He gaped and slid his gaze up and down my body again. “You ran from your house here?”
“Yeah.”
“Lots of energy. I’ll remember that. All right. What do I get if I do you that favor, though?” He kissed his forefinger and slid it down his chest to rest on the fly of his jeans.
I sighed. Of course, I figured it might come down to this. It always did with Teddy, which was why I hadn’t texted him all this time. I was missing something, though—friendliness, maybe—which was not what I’d get here, but what he offered with his eyebrow wiggle was good enough, especially if no one else was interested in my mopey self.
I shrugged and got in the car. He plopped back in behind the steering wheel and turned to study me. “What, nothing to say?” He patted the dash and smiled.